A River in Egypt
by Nenya85
Summary: Where does technology end and magic begin? Kaiba thought he needed a duel. Atem thought he needed to help Kaiba accept the inevitable. But neither stopped to ask themselves what "closure" means in a world where wish fulfillment is possible. Set at the end of Dark Side of Dimensions but the story stands on its own. Prideshipping.
1. Denying Orpheus

**SUMMARY:** Where does technology end and magic begin? Kaiba thought he needed a duel. Atem thought he needed to help Kaiba accept the inevitable. But neither stopped to ask themselves what "closure" means in a world where wish fulfillment is possible. And both forgot that when you chase after something so desperately, you run the risk of losing sight of just what it is that you're longing for. Set at the end of The Dark Sides of Dimensions.

 **TIMELINE:** This story starts the moment the movie, "The Dark Side of Dimensions" ends. Kaiba travels to the after-life, or the Netherworld as it's referred to in the manga prequel, "Transcend Game." As Kaiba strides into Atem's duel room, mysterious black particles flowing off his body, the pharaoh stands to greet him and the movie ends. This story is an attempt to explore what happens next. However, this story stands on its own. You don't need to have seen the movie to (hopefully) enjoy my story _ **. If at any time, information from the manga or the movie are relevant, I will provide the relevant information in a Manga Note or a Dark Side of Dimensions (DSoD) Note.**_

As this story is based on the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga and on the subtitled version of Dark Side of Dimensions, events from the anime, including the Noa's Arc, DOMA and Grand Prix, do not exist in this story.

 **DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS and TRANSCEND GAME NOTE:** Transcend Game is a two part manga prequel to the movie. Kaiba is developing a system that will allow duelists to link their collective consciousness. While testing it and attempting to leave our dimension, he sees a vision of Atem and tries to follow it. He also sees a vision of Kisara. Mokuba stops the project before Kaiba dies in his attempt to cross into Atem's dimension.

In Dark Side of Dimensions, Kaiba creates a holographic avatar of Atem in his computer lab to duel. When Kaiba wins the duel, he realizes that creating a hologram isn't enough and excavates the pieces of the Puzzle (thereby turning the favorite motif of dozens of prideshipping fanfics into canon!) hoping to reassemble the Puzzle and force Atem to Earth to duel him. This goes about as well as you'd expect. Both he and Yugi end up fighting the antagonist, Diva, and a reincarnated version of Yami Bakura/Zorc.

 **NETHERWORLD NOTE:** In Transcend Game, they refer to the world Atem leaves for after the Ceremonial Duel at the end of Yu-Gi-Oh! as the Netherworld. I used that name here because I like the way it emphasizes Atem's world as existing in another dimension.

 _ **Thanks to Kazuki Takahashi for creating such vibrant characters and continuing his story with Dark Sides of Dimensions.**_

 **NOTE: Creator chooses not to use archive warnings.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1: DENYING ORPHEUS**

 **DENIAL:** Orpheus travels all the way to the Underworld to reclaim his wife, only to lose her by glancing back too soon. Half a world away, Izanagi undertakes a parallel mission in search of his own wife, Izanami. Two stories of trying to find lost loves, two stories about trying to bring them back. Two failures. Two stories among a sea of tales and no matter how fantastical the setting, they end the same way: with order restored, with reality firmly triumphant.

And yet... we're the story-tellers and the story listeners. Are these really the endings that we, in our heart of hearts, crave? Who do we want to see emerge triumphant – Orpheus or Death? Even as we accept the ending as correct and just, don't we secretly yearn to see Orpheus return to the sunlight with Eurydice? To see him cradle his wife in his arms, cup her face in his hands, look deeply and freely into her eyes before closing his own, not in death or horror, but simply as the prelude to a kiss.

 _MORAL: We're the ones in the driver's seat. So why_ _not_ _tell stories where the impossible happens? Why not, in the privacy of our own imaginations, choose what we truly want, rather than settle for what we can get?_

* * *

Seto Kaiba fell out of the sky. He landed on his feet as always. Kaiba scanned the barren sands, crossed his arms and snorted, unimpressed. He could have designed a better Netherworld in his sleep. That settled, he measured the distance to the palace and began striding towards his destination. He'd wound up a bit farther away than planned, but he still had enough time for the walk and a duel. He picked up his pace. The particles streaming off his arms and back were a reminder that he didn't belong here, that his time in this world was limited. Kaiba grinned. Domino had been sending him the same message for years and he'd ended up running the show.

As Kaiba neared his goal, he forced his game face on just long enough to make it to the throne room. But by the time he was facing Atem, a smile had stolen its way back. He'd done it.

Atem rose up to greet his guest. He was familiar with Kaiba's gloating smirk, with his triumphant grin, with his slightly unhinged laugh – the one fueled by a mix of adrenaline, rage and rivalry. But there was something different about Kaiba, today. For the first time, his smile was joyous as well.

… And of course, Kaiba's duel disk was already on his arm. Atem couldn't resist rolling his eyes at his rival as a smile started to dawn on his own face.

"Did you think I wouldn't be able to track you down?" Kaiba asked, his arm thrust out as if his duel disk was a weapon or a shield. He took a couple of steps forward, his heels clattering on the stone floor. Kaiba noticed the differences between the other Yugi he remembered and the pharaoh standing before him. He'd discounted them as swiftly. This was his rival. This was the man he'd come all this way to duel. His blood heated at the thought, just as it always did around Atem.

The guards stood straighter, evaluating this new and unexpected threat. They tightened their grips on their spears. Atem gestured with his hand, waving them off. They shouldered their weapons and filed from the room. Atem's councilors followed. Mahaad looked back at the door but left when Atem nodded.

Atem turned back to Kaiba. He shook his head at his rival and said, "I was going to ask what took you so long. I've been waiting for you. My only question was whether you'd do it with or without the Millennium Cube."

"I came on my own power using my own technology," Kaiba announced, gesturing with his duel disk again.

Atem nodded. "I would expect no less of you. And now that you're here..."

"Now that there's nowhere left for you to run, you mean? You know what I came for," Kaiba interrupted, his familiar scowl reappearing for the first time.

Back in Domino, Atem would have responded with a taunt of his own. Now, even his sigh was inward. After a pause he asked, "Do you? People have chased the Millennium Items throughout the ages. They believed possessing one granted you a wish of the heart. Does your technology do the same?"

Kaiba closed his eyes. What would he wish for? What had he wished for? _"To see you,"_ he thought. "Wishes aren't real," he answered instead.

Atem snorted. "What am I, then?"

"You're real enough to duel."

Atem laughed. He'd almost forgotten how alive Kaiba was. Then he scanned Kaiba's face again and frowned. Kaiba was less angry than Atem remembered, but his rage had been replaced by sadness. The change was unacceptable. "How are you?" he asked.

"I'm here. That's how I am. How about you? Still dead?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah. Yugi told me. You're fine," Kaiba scoffed. Throughout the years, Kaiba had often told himself (and everyone else within earshot) that he was fine; he'd learned to distrust the words.

"I wouldn't lie to Yugi!" Atem shouted. He took a couple of steps until he was facing Kaiba, standing dueling distance apart in the empty room.

"It's not the truth, either," Kaiba countered. "People say 'I'm fine' when they want to end the conversation. Otherwise they go on about every stupid thing they're thinking or feeling. But you're not telling me the color of the drapes in your little Netherworld palace. You were pretty glib about wishes of the heart a minute ago." Kaiba waved his arm around the palace hall. "Was this yours?"

"Kaiba, this is my home, now. And in case you haven't noticed, it doesn't have drapes."

"That's not an answer."

Atem laughed. A note of bitterness ran through it. "I've missed you." Atem's familiar smirk slid back into place. "Are you going to gloat now that I've admitted it?"

Kaiba frowned. "Don't mock me or I'll pack up right now and go home." He held a breath waiting for Atem's answer.

"I wasn't. I won't. Not in this. Why did you risk your life this way?"

Kaiba grinned. "I'm fine."

"It was still a risk – and not one I would have wanted you to face. If I had a wish, it's that you would have forgotten me the moment I left. Why did you do this?"

Kaiba glared at Atem. Admitting, "I don't know," was unacceptable. And Kaiba realized that the words, _"I don't know,"_ could describe any aspect of this whole fantastical journey. He'd had to do this. He'd never stopped moving long enough to put a name to the force riding him.

"Why are you here, Kaiba?" The question was gentle, soft enough to answer.

"You know why I came. I told you back at Alcatraz that our road of battle continued. You agreed."

"Aaaahhhhh," Atem sighed. "Then let's duel."

Atem looked around, suddenly aware that he didn't have a duel disk. He looked hungrily at Kaiba's. He didn't need a duel disk, not here, but he missed it all the same.

Kaiba closed his eyes a minute in concentration. A second duel disk, identical to the one on Kaiba's arm appeared in front of Atem. Kaiba grinned in satisfaction. It was based on the same principle as his holographic deck. But seeing it here, large as life, was amazing. He spent another moment staring at it proudly, then drew himself up to his full height, looked down at Atem across the expanse and said, "Go ahead. Pick it up. When you put it on, you'll be connected to my duel links system. It will let you recreate your deck from memory, without needing physical cards."

Atem took a step forward. "Is it real?"

"Isn't it a little late in the day for that particular question?" Kaiba replied.

Atem chuckled and picked it up, sighing in satisfaction as the familiar weight settled on his arm. For a moment he could almost believe that his palace was one of Kaiba's holograms, that they were both back in Domino, that everything that had happened since was the illusion.

"Are you ready to lose?" Kaiba called out.

Atem enjoyed laughing in Kaiba's face. He watched his opponent's posture stiffen still further in response. "Are you sure about that?"

Kaiba snorted in place of a reply, barely hiding the thrill that shot through him at Atem's trademark retort. Kaiba set his opening card with a flourish. It was the Hitosame Giant… the first card Kaiba had ever played against Atem.

Atem smiled and set Winged Dragon, Guardian of the Fortress in response, answering Kaiba with his own initial card as well. "Let's see how far we've evolved since that day."

"I've waited for this. I've fought and schemed just to get to this moment. I've gone to bed and woken up dreaming of facing you, of seeing battle-fire light your eyes one last time. And now… it finally ends here." Kaiba grinned at Atem, a smile that surprised the other duelist with its pure happiness. "I'm glad that our end starts with our beginning."

"If this is truly to be a path of memories, should I expect to see Saggi and your Crush Card close at hand?" Atem teased.

"My Crush Card is of no use in this duel. I want to beat you with my strength, not by cutting you down to size." Kaiba slowly scanned Atem from head to toe. He smirked. "Which in your case is short enough."

They played a few turns in the charged silence that always characterized their mid-game. After several exchanges of monsters, Atem said, "Krystal Dragon followed by Assault Wyvern. Your dragon fetish has grown worse."

Kaiba grunted.

"You're playing more trap cards, too. You used to use them much more sparingly," Atem observed.

Kaiba grunted again.

"I thought you came here to talk?" Atem quizzed.

"I came here to duel."

Atem's mocking grin resurfaced, but it was gentler than it had been in Domino, warmed by the desert sun. "Isn't that the same thing?"

Kaiba shrugged. A smile tugged at his lips, demanding entrance.

"Trap cards…" Yami continued, "the most unpredictable cards in a deck, the ones that change the rules in midstream. Is your embrace of them a new strategy for controlling the uncontrollable... or have you finally learned to accept that there are some things even your fierce determination cannot change?"

"If I valued acceptance I wouldn't be here."

Atem's smile was impish. "Touché."

They returned to the game, to the shared silence that hid how acutely each was aware of the other. In unspoken agreement, they surrendered to the intensity that flowed through the duel like a living current, letting it pull them along in its wake… their hands flashing in a dance of parry and retreat, tapping out a staccato beat with each draw, their breaths quickening and slowing in unison, moving to the rhythm of an unseen drum.

Neither gained an advantage.

"Not as easy as you boasted it would be," Atem observed.

"Who wants easy? I'm going to savor this," Kaiba replied, knowing that he wasn't just talking about his impending win, but the rush of the duel itself. "If I could, I'd freeze time, so we could stay here, locked in combat forever."

"I wish you could." Atem closed his eyes. "Please, let this last as long as possible." It was a whispered invocation. Atem drew in a breath, released it and opened his eyes. It would be so quiet when Kaiba left.

Kaiba flashed his knife-edged grin. "I plan to draw this out until you're begging for mercy, until every card reminds you of all you're missing in this paradise of yours."

Atem laughed. "You're the one who traveled to the Netherworld looking for a duel. I'm curious to see what you've got. So far, your strategy of trying to bulldoze everyone and everything in your path is ridiculously familiar. You're going to need more than that to take me down."

Kaiba growled in response. Atem leaned into the half-feral sound, as if he could breathe it in. No one else taunted and threatened him. No one else made his breath catch with that exact combination of annoyance and excitement. Kaiba was an ache that he had one last chance to ease. Kaiba was a rasp under his skin that he had one last chance to exorcise for both their sakes. Kaiba was an invitation to a brawl and Atem had one last chance to throw himself into the fray.

"Enough dancing around. You asked what I wished for, earlier?" Atem hissed back. "I want this duel to echo through eternity. I want everything from you. I want to bare as much. I want to fight as we've always fought – no quarter asked or given – and then walk away calmed and at peace." Atem paused at Kaiba's sharp intake of breath. He waited a beat, listening to the sound of Kaiba's softly sighed exhale, before adding in a voice that was lower, but no less intense, "I want to see the mask that you wear shiver and break. I want to see you driven to your knees, helpless to hide the man inside, as you turn over the last card for the last time."

Kaiba's eyes flashed at that. "Dream on, pharaoh! Seeing you was my last thought at night, my first upon waking. It was the air I breathed, the food I pushed aside. But if you think that means that I will ever be helpless, especially before you, especially now that you've gone, especially here in this place I crossed dimensions to find, then you've forgotten everything you ever knew about me."

"Except how to beat you."

Kaiba laughed. "As usual, you're living in the past. Our history starts today with my victory."

Atem didn't respond to Kaiba's boast, suddenly sobered by the reminder that their history would end today as well.

They played a couple of turns in silence. Reality had outpaced even Kaiba's eidetic memory. He'd never felt as caught, as breathless before, too ensnared in the present to spare a thought for the future that was racing closer with each shared heartbeat. And each repeated round of clash and counter, each battle of wills, added to the tension, until every nerve was quivering, a string instrument played by a master hand. Kaiba looked across at Atem, at the pharaoh's heightened color, at the gleam in his eyes that no computer programmed hologram – even one of his own design – could match.

Atem's breath came faster and faster as each card fell. Even paradise would look a little grayer tomorrow, compared to this. Atem stared at Kaiba, willing himself to remember every detail… the grace and power of Kaiba's monsters… the way Kaiba himself was never dwarfed by even the mightiest of them, how Kaiba outshone the illusion of light that brightened the throne room, how he looked more solid, more real, more vibrantly alive in a palace built for those that had left, as if any dimension was too narrow to contain his boundless energy.

Kaiba played Pot of Greed, drew two cards and grinned. Atem had seen his lesser dragons… now it was time to bring the duel home. It was time to get what he'd come for. With a sweep of his arm, he activated Polymerization, fusing the three Blue Eyes White Dragons in his hand to summon Neo Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon. Three dragons shot straight into the air growing larger and brighter, twining in and around each other until they merged into his newest ultimate creation. She took the field, as eager as her owner to attack.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Atem drank in the sound.

"You talked of evolution earlier?" Kaiba asked. "Behold the proof of how far I've come! See how my dragon reaches for the sky, held back no longer by fear or anger."

Atem stared at Kaiba's latest dragon, at Kaiba standing below it, glittering blue and white, rising out of the shadow cast by his monster. Kaiba's words thrilled Atem, left him shaking with pride that his own words to Kaiba in the ruins of Alcatraz had borne such fruit.

"Beautiful," Atem breathed. "This is the clash we've both been waiting for. Are you ready?"

"Bring it," Kaiba snarled, teeth bared, his breath coming in quick pants as if he'd already been struck.

"I promise. I will give you all you came for and more." Atem looked at Silver Fang, the sole monster he had on the field. He bent down and patted the wolf, amazed at the soft feel of fur on his fingers. Atem drew his next card and played Dark Magic Veil, drawing his life points down to the mere hundreds to summon the Dark Magician. It felt odd to call the card that held a sliver of Mahaad's soul into this battle, but how could it end any other way?

He looked down at the wolf again. "Thank you, my friend," he said as he played Magical Dimension. Silver Fang disappeared in a puff of smoke as the Dark Magician Girl bounced into the room, irrepressible as Mana herself.

Kaiba stared in disbelief. The last time his dragon had met Atem's magicians in battle, he'd been in his computer lab, playing by himself, trying to trick himself into believing in his own illusion. He drew in a breath and shook his head. He looked across the dueling field. Then he smiled. This was his rival. This was his duel. This was real. It was everything he wanted, everything he'd launched himself across dimensions to gain.

Atem played one final spell card, allowing his monsters to attack. "It's time to duel!" he yelled. "Double Magician's Attack!"

"Don't underestimate me!" Kaiba roared.

Atem stared at him, mouth open. "Sometimes you miss the point so thoroughly I have to wonder how you manage to do it. I have _never_ underestimated you. Not once. Not when you were in a coma. Not at any time since."

Kaiba exhaled. Atem's response reached deep into some secret place inside of Kaiba, spread balm on a wound that Kaiba hadn't realized he had carried until its ache had eased. In his computer lab, he'd programmed dozens of responses Atem could make, but Atem's words rang truer than any of his imagining.

Kaiba straightened his already erect posture. He was ready for whatever happened next. "You must realize that this will be your final turn. This is the end, Atem," Kaiba said, naming his rival for the first and last time in their duel.

Atem smirked. "Are you sure about that?"

Kaiba's tongue flickered over his lips, his throat was suddenly dry. The familiar challenge felt oddly like a caress… or a farewell.

Atem turned over Dimension Reflector.

Kaiba stared at Atem's card, eyes wide as though he'd already lost. He glanced at his face down card – Enhanced Counter – the same card that had lain in front of him in his computer lab. By some ridiculous, random coincidence – or what Atem would probably refer to as fate – they'd managed to recreate the finals moments of the holographic duel he'd had with the false Atem in his computer lab back in Domino.

"I win, Kaiba," Atem said quietly as he called his attack.

Kaiba laughed then played his trap card. He didn't care that he was about to lose. This was what he'd come for. He wanted to know what the real Atem would have done, what strategy beyond Kaiba's imagining he would come up with to turn certain defeat into unimaginable victory, to prove himself even greater than Kaiba could have dreamed.

Kaiba watched as the Dark Magician and his apprentice blasted his mighty beast. The smoke cleared. His dragon rose up in glory. Kaiba crossed his arms, leaned back and waited for Atem to mount his inevitable counter-attack, the one that would leave Kaiba shaken, and – as Atem had predicted – on his knees.

His dragon unsheathed her hyper ultimate blast, burst of white and blue lightning pouring from each of her three mouths.

Kaiba stared in disbelief. Atem hadn't countered his move. It was over. He'd won.

Kaiba's face turned ashen. He suppressed a flash of anger, of outrage almost. It wasn't supposed to be like this. His voice was so devoid of emotion that Atem wondered which of them was no longer among the living as Kaiba said, "Damn you."

"Kaiba! What is it? You've won."

Kaiba ignored him. He stared at the empty space between them, half expecting the throne room to disappear, dumping him back at Kaiba Corporation or in his bed at home... waiting for this to turn out to be just another hallucination. He looked at his arm. The steady tick of particles rising from his form, racing back to his world, reassured him. "In my test lab…" Kaiba said slowly, "I defeated you with this card."

"What are you talking about? We've never dueled in your lab!" Atem said.

Kaiba shook his head impatiently. "Not you. The dueling avatar I created from my memories of you."

"Oh… Kaiba…" Atem whispered.

The words were spoken so softly, they barely reached Kaiba; it was hard to tell if they registered. "I played this card to win that duel. I was sure that once we met for real, you'd have an answer for it, one beyond my understanding."

Atem drew his next card. Counter-Counter appeared. He held it up. "I did. Once again, I was too late. Time is on your side, Kaiba, not mine."

Kaiba shook his head, still stunned, as shaken and lost by his victory as he'd been after each defeat.

"You've won," Atem repeated.

"I'm your equal," Kaiba replied.

"You always were. I've told you that before."

"I've never believed it before."

Atem held Kaiba's gaze. "It was good to duel you again."

It was starting to sink in. He'd done it. It was over. Kaiba frowned.

"Kaiba?" Atem asked, turning his rival's name into a question. Atem had been prepared for gloating. He'd been ready to let Kaiba rub his victory in Atem's face, to grant Kaiba a winner's due, just as Kaiba had heard him out when they'd stood above the rubble of Alcatraz in their last duel. "You've surprised me again. I expected you to boast..."

"I know. I did too," Kaiba answered, hands still hanging loosely at his side.

Kaiba knew how he was supposed to feel: triumphant or satisfied or something beyond empty. He'd come all this way to prove to Atem – to prove to himself – that he was Atem's equal, that he was capable of change, that he'd grown past the man who'd stood on the top of his Duel Tower at Alcatraz and watched his dragons die.

And now all that was left was letting go of their rivalry… and of Atem.

Kaiba had traded away so many things. Even more had been wrested from his grasp no matter how tightly he'd tried to hold on. He'd never had to let anything go, before.

But Yami was still standing, staring at him, and his eyes had always been too penetrating. "Well…" Kaiba said awkwardly. "I guess this is good-bye. We didn't get to say that before."

Atem answered, "I couldn't, before. Without a duel it would have been meaningless, anyway. Neither of us would have believed in it. Whatever you needed, please take it home with you. Live a good life, Kaiba."

It was impossible for Kaiba, even though he was limiting himself to stolen glances, to mistake the sadness and regret in Atem's face. "At his late date, are you still daring to pity me?" he snarled.

Atem laughed at that. "Thank you for missing the point one last time. My sadness isn't for your benefit, but my own. I will miss you, Seto Kaiba," he repeated.

Kaiba smiled briefly. He nodded in acknowledgement and swept out, wanting to be out of sight before he disappeared, needing to be the one to break eye contact first.

Everything had gone according to Kaiba's plan. And nothing had.

Now that he was safely out of the palace, Kaiba watched dispassionately as the particles that made up his body kept fleeing this world for his own, their rate of escape accelerating. Soon he'd be back in his space station. He'd be riding down in his space elevator. Mokuba was waiting.

Atem stood, staring at the doorway, long after Kaiba had left his throne room. It was strange knowing Kaiba that was disappearing, not just from view, but from his world as well. That he'd never see his rival again. It had been true in Egypt, when he'd left without a word. It seemed even more final, now.

Mahaad came back into the chamber. "At least it's over."

"Yes." Atem sighed.

"You can relax. You've been on edge for weeks awaiting his arrival, my prince."

"Atem."

Mahaad bowed. "As you wish."

"And this is the perfect place for relaxing, for letting go of the world beyond our borders," Atem said slowly. The immediate thought that followed, _"...or at least it should be,"_ remained unspoken. Atem walked into the courtyard. Mahaad followed like a second shadow. Atem sat next to an ornamental pool and watched the fish. It reminded him of the koi ponds in the Domino parks.

"This is a fitting reward for a life of strife," Mahaad noted. He glanced at the pharaoh. "It _is_ the end, isn't it?"

Atem nodded. He kept his voice calm as he stared at the fish circling in their oval prison. "Kaiba won't be back. He's won. He's gotten whatever he came for." Atem leaned down and ruffled the smooth surface of the water. He watched the ripples fade away in silence. He'd accomplished his final mission. He'd helped Kaiba find the peace he was looking for. Why was that so hard to remember? "When I first came to this Netherworld, I'd wondered why my high priest wasn't here to greet me."

"How could he be here when he walks the earth?" Mahaad asked. "Seto was born anew. He grew as the gods willed. One life cannot dictate the next."

"Do you think, when his life has once again reached its end that he will rejoin us here?"

"Who knows what the fates have in store for him? Perhaps, if he accepts this place as his destiny."

Atem looked down. His lips twisted into a frown. "The answer is, 'no,' then. He is truly gone."

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for agreeing to beta this story – and for coming up with the title, "A River in Egypt." I can't express how much your encouragement and friendship means to me.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I loved Dark Side of Dimensions. It was so exciting to get a new Yu-Gi-Oh! story after so many years, and one that focused on Kaiba and his reaction to Atem's leaving was icing on the cake. It was a deeply heartfelt look at grief and the different reactions to loss. I really loved how open the ending was, and how no matter your interpretation of it, you could find something in the movie to feel satisfy it.

And of course, I couldn't resist exploring what I think happened next.

In addition to Bnomiko, I'd like to thank Splintered Star, Rainstormcolors, The Cryptographic_Delurk, Dueling Destiny and so many of the friends I've made online for listening to me try to sort out just what story I was telling.

Posting the first chapter of a story always makes me nervous, because I live with both the story and my own doubts about it for so long, and then the comes the point where you have to let people read it or pretend you never started writing it at all. This should be a simple decision, but it's one I always feel anxious about.

 _ **One of my favorite quotes, is the line from Dune: "Beginnings are such delicate times." I find this true for stories, and I'd love to know what you think of this beginning. Please comment.**_

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Dreamwidth, Tumblr and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!


	2. The Unknown Orpheus

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In "Transcend Game," the manga prequel to the movie, Kaiba is developing a system that will allow duelists to link their collective consciousness. While testing it and attempting to leave our dimension, he sees a vision of Atem and tries to follow it. He also sees a vision of Kisara. Mokuba stops the project before Kaiba dies in his attempt to cross into Atem's dimension.

In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," the antagonist, Diva, uses a mystical cube to travel between dimensions, and boasts that Kaiba would be unable to figure out how it works. But it's always risky to underestimate Kaiba!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2: THE UNKNOWN ORPHEUS**

DENIAL: Orpheus was an ancient Greek rock star. And as with any celebrity, part of his life is written neon bright… how he went to the after-life to free his wife, how he looked back too soon, how he lost her forever. But as with any celebrity, so much more remains in shadow. We all know Eurydice's fate… she gets dragged back to the underworld. But what about Orpheus? What happened to him after his not-so-triumphant return? As it turns out, plenty, although the details vary with the version. He became a hermit, he never loved again, he never looked at another woman but men were a different story, he became a follower of Apollo. He was ripped to shreds by jealous wives or the worshippers of a jealous god. His disembodied head kept singing and possibly became an oracle until Apollo asked him to stop revealing the future to anyone who would listen. That's a lot of life to get conveniently kicked under the rug in the pause between, "and then he got back from the underworld," to "and then he died."

 _MORAL: There's plenty of life left even after visiting the after-life. The trick is deciding what to do with it._

* * *

Kaiba strode from the palace after his victory. His only goal was to put as much distance as possible between himself and Atem before he vanished in a puff of smoke like a third-rate villain in a fourth-rate video game. The dark particles rising from his body billowed behind him like a swirling, shifting shadow before escaping back to his world. Kaiba picked up the pace. Something flew overhead; it was large enough to cast a shadow over both Kaiba and his surroundings. He looked up and smiled when he saw a dragon – no, when he saw his dragon – flying directly above. His grin turned incredulous as she turned, swooped and then glided to a landing in front of him.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

Kaiba had expected his dragon to sound fierce or angry or threatening. And yet somehow, this quiet voice that echoed in his head felt right.

"Anywhere. As far from the palace as I can get before I disappear," he answered.

She inclined her head. "You could go farther if we flew."

Kaiba hesitated; it was one dream too many to hold in his hands. He'd fought and schemed to get to Atem, and now a second wish was being offered freely, without his even asking. "You would permit me… you would let…"

"Yes," she said, breaking into his disjointed words.

They were aloft instantly, the ascent closer to a vertical lift than anything except a rocket had managed. As Kisara spiraled upwards through the air, Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Kisara leveled their path. Kaiba stretched out his arms; the rush of the wind pummeled his body as they raced through the sky.

"Night after night… I dreamed of this." The wind snatched the words from his mouth as he uttered them. Kisara heard them nonetheless.

"Does reality match?" she asked.

"It's even better."

"I'm glad."

Kaiba shook his head. "The whole time I was figuring out how to get here, I never dared hope you'd be here as well… I never thought that…"

"You never thought, period," she interrupted, "or you would not have attempted such a foolish thing as coming to the Netherworld."

"But I did it!" Kaiba protested. "Diva told me I'd never figure out how the cube worked." Kaiba snorted. "He should have known – there's nothing I can't hack. But I didn't need his cube. I went back to my original prototype."

"The one that almost killed you the first time you tried to reach this Netherworld?"

"Yeah, but it didn't!" Kaiba boasted. He paused, then added, "I thought I saw something… a girl… the shadow of a dragon…"

"I was trying to warn you to go back."

"I did go back," Kaiba pointed out, conveniently overlooking the fact that his brother had been the one to stop his first attempt to reach the Netherworld before it killed him. "Once I knew that traveling between dimensions was possible, once I studied the Millennium Cube, I knew I could recreate the same effect with my own technology. I had been on the wrong track, the first time, but not by much. And then I got distracted, I tried to drag the pharaoh to me. I should have known that wouldn't work, that if I wanted to see… uh… that if I wanted a duel, I'd have to come here. But the whole nonsense with Diva wasn't a total waste of time. That's when I knew I had to adapt the initial idea for the pods into a Dimensional Canon…" Kaiba stopped short – aware that, for the first time since he'd tried to explain to Gozaburo why games were important – he was babbling.

"You did well," Kisara said.

Kaiba ducked his head. " _He_ didn't think so,"

"Didn't he? Hasn't he always?"

Kaiba thought for a moment. Atem's praise rang in his ears. "I guess you're right."

Kisara gave a low rumble of approval. "I'm a dragon with 3,000 years of experience. I'm used to being right."

The black particles were streaming off Kaiba faster now, almost hiding his form. "I'd like to see your face before I return," Kaiba said. "I don't want to just disappear without a word… without even saying a real good-bye."

Kisara began her descent. Kaiba stood up and leapt from her back while she was still airborne. He straightened up, put his hands on his hips and laughed. "I've always wanted to do that. Jump from a dragon for real."

He was little more than a swirling shadow. Soon, not trace would be left, no hint that he'd ever come into this world, that he'd ever dueled its king.

He hadn't spoken aloud, but Kisara answered him anyway. "Not quite. I'll remember. So will the pharaoh. Your presence will echo here as long as memory lasts."

"I wish… I wish I could take you back with me," he said, his voice almost unbearably young.

"You know that cannot be. But the walls between our worlds have thinned. Your presence here is proof of that. The next time you summon me to your side, look closely and you will know that I am with you, wherever you reside."

"Do you have… What's your name?"

"Kisara."

"Kisara, " he repeated. Kaiba came forward and stroked the underside of her jaw, glad that he could still feel. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. I've been chasing my future for so long."

"And now you've caught it." She exhaled softly, but her breath ruffled his hair, brushing it off his forehead.

For the second time he ducked his head awkwardly; it took a dragon to make Seto Kaiba look like an unfledged teenager. "What happens next?" he asked.

"What do you want to happen?" she replied.

It took Kaiba a moment to realize that her question was her answer to his. "What…" Kaiba paused. He had no idea how to finish his own sentence. He opened his mouth again, but before he could figure it out, he disappeared.

He came back to consciousness in his space station, as if he'd never shot himself through dimensions, as if he'd never fought a duel with a pharaoh and won, as if he'd never ridden through the sky on his dragon's back. Kaiba shook his head, orienting himself. He looked around his space station, then walked to the window to stare at the stars. Atem… Kisara… the Netherworld… they were all out there, somewhere. Kaiba drew in a breath and turned his back on the view. He headed for his space elevator. He'd gotten his duel. He'd won. He had a business to run and a brother to raise.

He touched the KC pin on the front of his coat. "I'm back at the space station. I'll be downstairs soon." He thought he heard Mokuba sobbing, but he had clicked off too soon to be sure. He frowned. His plan had worked. It wasn't like Mokuba to get upset over nothing. The ride down seemed endless. He checked his watch. He'd only been gone for a few hours.

The elevator doors finally opened. He took a step forward and was knocked backwards when Mokuba barrelled into him. Kaiba managed to leave the elevator half carrying Mokuba along with him.

"You're back!" Mokuba yelled. He was hugging Kaiba so tightly, Kaiba's arms were pinned against his side.

"Yes." Kaiba waited. Mokuba didn't let go.

"I was so scared! I didn't know what was going to happen! I was afraid… I was afraid I'd lose you for good this time."

"You would have been okay, Mokuba. I'd never leave you in the lurch. You would have been financially secure with your interests protected. I planned for every contingency."

"I don't want a plan! I want you! And you didn't even promise to come back." Mokuba sobbed and buried his face in Kaiba's chest.

It had only been a few hours, just long enough for a walk and a duel, but in that time Mokuba had seen his entire life stretching out ahead of him, alone and brotherless. Kaiba managed to free an arm. He rested his hand on his brother's hair. Mokuba's shoulders finally stopped shaking. He wiped his nose against his brother's shirt. Mokuba didn't release his grip, but he managed to loosen it enough to look up at Kaiba. "What was it like?"

"The scenery was boring. Atem was…" Kaiba paused. He smiled as he thought of Atem, of the way his eyes had flashed with familiar fire as he'd summoned his monsters, of the pride and acknowledgement in them as he'd assured Kaiba that he was his equal. "Atem was the same as always. Preachy as ever and still into friendship speeches. He looked a bit different, even less like Yugi than ever, although I don't know how anyone could have ever confused them."

Kaiba paused, then added, "I met her. My dragon. The Blue Eyes White Dragon. She said her name was Kisara."

"You did what?" Mokuba's eyebrows disappeared even farther into his bangs.

Kaiba smiled. "I flew on her back."

Mokuba stared at his brother a moment longer, his face scrunched up in puzzlement. Then he shrugged to himself. His brother had just gone to an unimaginable dimension. Why shouldn't there be a dragon there?

"What was it like flying on a real live Blue Eyes White Dragon?" Mokuba asked.

"It was something." Kaiba paused. "I wish you'd been there."

Mokuba nodded. He wished he'd been there too. "Someone had to mind the shop."

Kaiba frowned. That was his job – or it should have been. And now that he considered the matter, the thought of his brother hurtling through dimensions, of his small body disintegrating before Kaiba's eyes… "Anyway, the Dimensional Cannon burned up on the launch." Kaiba shrugged. "It served its purpose."

Mokuba beamed up at his brother. He'd been almost afraid to ask. "Great! So that means you won!"

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Of course."

Mokuba finally let go of Kaiba to punch the air. He jumped up and down. "You did it! You beat him, Nisama!"

Kaiba's cocky smirk returned to his face for the first time since his return. "I can do anything I set my mind to."

Everyone had thought he'd fail, that he was crazy for trying. Yugi Mutou, self-appointed expert on all things regarding Atem, had told him to move on, to give in, to give up. But he'd done it. He'd stood before Atem and demanded a duel. He'd defied fate, he'd defied common sense, he'd defied physics, reality, and the god damned definitions of time and space, of life and death itself. And he'd won. He'd shown this world and the next that he was Seto Kaiba and nobody else's rules could keep him in line. Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. There was no better feeling.

Mokuba beamed up at him, his face finally relaxed. "Good. I'm glad it's over."

Kaiba didn't answer. But Mokuba was used to not getting one.

He was also used to watching his brother. In the days that followed it was clear that the manic energy that had led to the tournament and to Kaiba jumping into an untested prototype in pursuit of his rival was gone. But nothing seemed to have replaced it. Kaiba went through the motions of running his company and monitoring his city as efficiently as ever. But the passion for doing both was gone.

"Have you talked to Yugi?" Mokuba finally asked.

"Why? What would there be to say?"

"You could tell him that you actually made it to the Netherworld!"

"That was between Atem and me." Kaiba frowned at the idea of sharing it with Yugi.

"How about that you saw Atem on his home turf and beat him!"

Kaiba shrugged. That had been personal as well.

"I don't get it. I thought you'd want to rub it in everyone's face!"

Kaiba frowned. Telling Yugi would mean admitting something the runt already knew and was too polite to mention: that Kaiba had wanted some kind of acknowledgement from a dead man badly enough to chase him all the way to another dimension to get it. Telling Yugi would mean losing all over again… not to an opponent but to the realization even after his victory, he still missed Atem. If the goal now was moving on, Kaiba wasn't about to lose the race by standing still.

"There's no point. Yugi already said his goodbyes," Kaiba said.

"And you got to say yours, too," Mokuba reminded him.

Kaiba smiled. "Yes. I did. And I won. That's something."

Mokuba's face scrunched up until he looked like a cartoon baby animal. "Something? I thought that was everything!"

Kaiba nodded.

It was. It should have been.

It bothered Kaiba, the way Mokuba watched him. Mokuba had refused to go to school for a week; he'd spent the time in Kaiba's office. Kaiba had indulged him. He'd gone off to the Netherworld, leaving Mokuba in charge of Kaiba Corporation on what he had to admit was a personal quest. Giving Mokuba the week off seemed fair enough.

He drove Mokuba to school on Monday. Mokuba sat in the car when they reached the building, making no move to leave.

"I don't see why I have to go to school. You didn't." Mokuba pouted.

"I was home-schooled."

Mokuba frowned. He sat straighter in the seat, drawing himself up to his full, if inadequate, height. He stuck out his chin. "We both know that's not how it was."

Kaiba's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. For an instant, the car faded; he was back in the mansion; it was midnight. He could feel the dog collar tightening around his neck, the riding crop caressing the underside of his jaw. A sudden shock of rage pulsed through his veins, snapping him back to the present. It pounded in his ears, demanding release. He pressed his lips tightly together. He could count the times that he'd yelled at Mokuba since Death-T on one hand with a couple of fingers left over. He wasn't going to add to that number. He'd changed. He'd won.

Mokuba put his hand on his brother's arm. Kaiba looked down.

"I'm sorry, Nisama," Mokuba whispered.

Kaiba drew in a breath then let it out, then drew in another. When he could speak without yelling, Kaiba raised a hand from the steering wheel to smooth Mokuba's hair. "What's wrong, Mokuba? I've been back for a week."

"I was afraid of losing you forever."

"I was the one who designed the Dimensional Cannon. Do you really think I'm that incompetent?"

"Of course not!"

"You're going to have to let me out of your sight."

"I can't. I'm afraid you'll leave again, and this time it'll be for good."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're not how I thought you'd be… all happy and gloating. I thought I'd get the brother who smiled back! I thought if I went along one more time it would finally all work out!"

Kaiba started to say, "It has," then found that he couldn't. Mokuba was right. It should be over. It _was_ over. He'd won. He'd gotten what he'd wanted. And yet, it felt like he'd left something behind as well.

Mokuba bit his lip. "I was afraid that you'd want to stay, that you'd forget to come home."

Kaiba snorted. "The place was a dump. It didn't even have running water. And no coffee."

Mokuba grinned, gave him a final hug and got out of the car.

Kaiba sat for a moment. He leaned forward and rested his head on his hands as they gripped the steering wheel. _"I thought you'd forget to come home."_ He closed his eyes and saw a speeding car, an icy road and a tree. When they'd brought the news of his father's death, he'd been too stunned to think. Later, he'd heard his aunt and uncle talking late into the night, whining about his father's selfishness in taking the easy way out, in burdening them with a pair of unwanted strays. He'd lain in bed, with Mokuba snoring softly at his side, and wondered: had his father been racing to get home to see them… or had he been hurtling towards a different destination?

Then his aunt and uncle had found their own way to shove their burdens onto someone else and he'd stopped caring.

Kaiba restarted the engine and pulled into traffic. Soon he was just another speeding car on another road. He gripped the steering wheel, torn between anger and guilt. Mokuba had actually thought that Kaiba would abandon him. But as Kaiba raced forwards he had to admit: it was easy to scoff at the Netherworld, to joke about its lack of plumbing, to mock the dullness of a world where the most advanced technology was the invention of the wheel. But if he hadn't been the older brother, if he hadn't had Mokuba waiting back home… if Atem had suggested a rematch….

Kaiba wasn't sure what his answer would have been.

A dimension away, Atem sat in his throne room, staring into space. A week ago, Kaiba had barged into his palace demanding a duel. A smile flickered across Atem's lips before he wrenched his thoughts back to the empty room, to the lands outside… to his domain.

It should be over. It was over. Kaiba had gotten what he'd come for. Atem had helped him as best he could. He'd owed Kaiba that. Letting go of Kaiba should be simple, as effortless as the rest of this world.

Mana bounded into his throne room, distracting him. Atem smiled. It was impossible to do anything else.

"C'mon! It's beautiful out and you're sitting in this stuffy old room!" She ran up and grabbed his hand.

"Are you daring to call my throne room stuffy?" Atem drew himself up to his full height and tried to glare at her, but his grin spoiled the effect.

"I sure am! What are you going to do about it?"

"Mana!" Mahaad said as he came into the room, turning her name into a rebuke.

Mana grinned at him as well. "Didn't you say it would be great if the pharaoh got out for some air?"

Mahaad pressed his lips together and looked away.

They walked past the courtyard, down to the river. Green fields rolled into the distance on the other side, as far as the eye could see.

Mahaad sighed in satisfaction. "Can you not feel the peace of this world in every whisper of the breeze as it rustles its way through the reeds?"

"I can indeed," Atem said.

"The gods are generous. You, of all of us, deserve the serenity you did so much to preserve."

"Thank you, my friend," Atem said as they reached the river. Mahaad was right. He'd fulfilled his mission, protected his people and freed his partner to live his own life, unhindered by Atem's presence. He hadn't wavered or faltered along the way, not even to say goodbye to Kaiba. He hadn't looked back, not even for a last glimpse of Yugi. And he'd been rewarded. Everyone agreed: he deserved this place, this unendingly peaceful life. But ever since Kaiba had arrived and demanded a duel, what Atem deserved and what he wanted sometimes seemed to be two very different things.

Had Kaiba's restlessness infected him, like a virus traveling through the dimensions along with its host, reaching out to sicken Atem? Or had the discontent been there, hidden, like kindling drying unnoticed in the sun, waiting for a flame? It was easy to blame Kaiba for his own uneasy thoughts, but were they truly Kaiba's fault or had his rival simply held up a mirror and dared Atem to gaze inside?

It was so easy to close his eyes, to go back in time to Kaiba's tournament, to face Diva again with everything on the line, to be part of Yugi again, to duel again… to regret missing the chance to see Kaiba again, because regret was as much a part of life as joy. When Atem had stepped into Kaiba's stadium for that one final time, he'd tasted his old life. It had been enough to leave him hungry in a land of fulfillment, aching for a world he'd walked away from but could not leave behind.

And yet, this was his world now. It wasn't just paradise… it was home. Its green and blue beauty soothed something deep inside of him. He'd followed a path long fated, but more than duty or even destiny held him here. He had friends as dear as the ones he'd forsaken. Mahaad's stern exterior hid a heart as gentle as Yugi's; Mana's smile was just as irrepressible. Each day he learned more about the people he'd once known so well, each day they became even more precious, lighting a hearth-fire that warmed him through the night.

Atem stood staring at the river for a moment too long. Mana snuck up behind him and pushed him in. He landed with a splash that soaked her as well. She laughed and joined him in the water. The afternoon held all of the peace that Mahaad had promised. Atem played with Mana. He swam with Mahaad. He joked and talked and listened. But part of Atem was still dueling Kaiba, was still listening for his rival's snarled challenges... his heart was still beating in time with each exchange, with each turn of the cards.

This place was paradise. But it had taken Kaiba's arrival to make him feel fully alive in it.

Atem drew in a breath. Enough melancholy for one day. He was here and the sun was shining. Atem shook his head, spraying water in all directions. He grinned and dove at Mana, grabbing her ankle and dragging her back under water. They reached the surface together. He splashed at her and then turned to Mahaad. "Paradise, indeed."

They climbed out of the river, watched the sunset together, then headed home. They ate dinner. Kalim and the rest of his council joined them. They drank. It was late when Atem climbed into his bed, smiling as he closed his eyes, unsure which world he hoped to dream of.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Second chapters are kind of funny because they have to do their part in setting up the story and at the same time be a worthwhile follow-up to the opening chapter. In this chapter, I thought it was necessary for both characters to try to sort out what had just happened, and why nothing – including their emotions – played out the way they expected. I also couldn't resist having Kaiba meet Kisara, and assuming that she was in the Netherworld, I couldn't imagine her passing up the chance to see him! I've always had the vague feeling that a dragon might be who Kisara is at heart. And considering how disastrous things went for Kisara as a girl, given the choice she might prefer to be a dragon. I can also see her, with 3,000 years of experience under her belt, looking at Kaiba as a young, fledgling dragon.

 **ANCIENT EGYPT PLUMBING NOTE:** Ancient Egypt actually did have plumbing including copper pipes, mainly used in irrigation systems. However, I could see Kaiba being very disparaging about not just their plumbing but their technology in general, especially since he's trying to hold onto his disdain for everything about the world that Atem chose over this one. So, I see his comments being more about his feelings about Atem.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	3. Different River Same Problem

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In the movie, Kaiba builds a space station to guard the Puzzle and to assemble it in zero gravity. At the end of the movie, it's where he launches his Dimensional Cannon, which takes him to the netherworld and Atem.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 3: DIFFERENT RIVER, SAME PROBLEM**

BARGAINING: The Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters is set in a cemetery. The residents, through a series of poems, tell their stories – and gossip about each other, hold on to old grudges, rant about real and perceived injustices... and occasionally try to make sense of the lives they can't quite abandon.  
 _  
MORAL: Stories and poems about death usually focus on the living. Spoon River suggests it may be just as hard for the dead to let go of the things that matter.  
_

* * *

As Yugi hurried to class, he tried to decide what had changed and what had stayed the same. He'd graduated high school. He was in college. Jounouchi and Honda weren't flanking him in the hallways. Anzu was in New York. He was still going to class.

He was popular. Kids wanted to sit next to him. They wanted to ask questions. _"Is it fun winning all the time? What really went on at Kaiba's tournament?"_ Once, Yugi would have stepped back and let Atem or Jounouchi answer. But Atem was gone and Jounouchi wasn't sitting next to him, ready to jump in. So Yugi had smiled, ducked his head and given the best answer he could: "I'm not sure." Occasionally, they'd ask, _"Why did Kaiba smile like that at your match?"_ But Yugi had never known what any of Kaiba's smiles had meant, and that one least of all.

Even when he hadn't answered (or given the right answers), they still sat next to him and talked about the class or the teacher or the weather. Yugi had wished for friends in high school. He'd gotten them. He'd lost one, forever. The idea of new friends was strange, something he hadn't expected or considered.

Yugi slowed down as he reached the campus. Ryou Bakura was waiting. Yugi waved and crossed the street to join him. They both wanted to be game designers. They had a couple of classes together. Nothing they were studying seemed likely to lead to game design, but they were both philosophical. They were both ready for the normalcy of wondering if their classes would ever make sense. That had been familiar in high school as well.

"How are you?" Bakura asked. It was their usual check-in.

Yugi smiled. "Fine."

Bakura reached out to touch his arm, successfully translating "fine" as "I'm trying."

"Me too," Bakura said. "I'm getting used to… you know… everything." Bakura had never sorted out just how he'd felt about the Spirit of the Ring. It wasn't that Bakura missed the spirit exactly, it was more that he was gone, and welcome or not, his absence left a gap.

Yugi nodded. "That's good."

"It's weird, meeting all these new people," Bakura said.

Yugi nodded again.

"I mean, I've changed schools before, but it's different, now. I keep telling myself I can invite people over. I don't have to worry. I forget sometimes and then I have to remind myself. It gets easier every day," Bakura assured him.

Yugi gave him a thumbs up. "And we're both going to keep moving forward. Our whole lives are ahead of us. That's what matters." Yugi laughed. "I sounded like Kaiba, didn't I?"

Bakura smiled. "How is he?"

Yugi shrugged. "I haven't seen him since the duel." Yugi had looked for Kaiba at graduation, even though Kaiba hadn't attended a single class since the day he'd first sat down to play a penalty game with Atem. That had been years ago. The duel with Diva had been the first and last time they'd really talked, the first time Kaiba had looked at him without also seeing Atem. "I emailed him and asked how he was doing. I got a one word answer: 'Working.'"

Bakura chuckled. "That sounds like him." He paused and then added, "That duel changed a lot of things."

"I got to see my partner again."

"I finally believed the Spirit of the Ring was gone," said Bakura at the same time.

They both smiled at each other and added, "I'm glad it's over."

As they reached their class, Yugi wondered if they should name themselves, "The Moving-On Club," and if it was okay for a club to have only two members.

Across town, Kaiba was pretending to work. His computer was on; he was staring at the screen. He was thinking about Atem.

Atem had told him at Alcatraz that even if he won, he'd never stop chasing the next victory on the next horizon. Atem hadn't been right.

But he hadn't been wrong, either.

Kaiba had hunted Atem right into a different dimension. And now there was nothing left to chase. Kaiba frowned and tapped his fingers on the desktop. Why didn't it feel over?

The barely-heard sound of knuckles brushing against the office door broke into Kaiba's thoughts, unprofitable as they were. Only two people would dare to knock on his door after he'd said that he didn't want to be disturbed. Only one would do it so deferentially.

"Come in," Kaiba said to Isono. He returned his attention to the monitor. Isono came into the room and slid some papers on his desk.

Kaiba didn't look up. A couple of minutes ticked by. Isono wondered what his boss was seeing.

"Do you remember what Diva said?" Kaiba asked, his gaze still on his screen. "About memory connecting us, about how our memories held the world together? I knew then that I could use them as a string, that I could follow anywhere… even to the Netherworld."

"And back home again," Isono added. "That's important, too. I'm glad you're safe, sir."

Kaiba steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them briefly. He looked at Isono for the first time. "I won."

Isono nodded. "You got what you went for, sir."

It was hard to tell if Isono was stating a fact or asking a question – and only one of those two options was acceptable. Kaiba narrowed his eyes and scanned Isono's face, but his subordinate, as usual, had kept his sunglasses on. "I won," Kaiba snarled. There was a hint of danger in his voice, or of warning. Kaiba shook his head. "Logically, that should be the end of it. As you pointed out, I got what I wanted."

Isono coughed into his hand. "Connections are rarely that easy to sever, sir."

"Is this your way of telling me, like Yugi did, that it's time to move on?"

"The last time someone tried to tell you that, you moved right on to another dimension."

Kaiba smiled. "You can go," he said. "I'll look at this stuff later."

Isono bowed and left. Kaiba went back to staring at the computer screen until it was time to go home.

Several hours later and a dimension away, Atem lay in bed waiting for sleep. He wondered what time it was in Domino. He'd forgotten to ask Kaiba if time ran in sync however far apart their worlds were. It would be nice if it did... if right now, Kaiba was turning down the covers and climbing into bed, finally ready to put the day and its worries aside. Atem chuckled to himself. No matter how time ran, he couldn't imagine Kaiba tamely surrendering to sleep.

Kaiba opened his eyes and looked around. He remembered going home. He remembered going to bed. Now he was in his space station dressed in his dueling outfit. There was only one logical conclusion to draw...

Kaiba walked over to the windows, looked out and frowned. The stars were so close. It was an optical illusion, of course. They were brighter without Earth's pollution and ambient light, but not, relatively speaking, appreciably closer.

He heard a chuckle behind him. "Overanalyzing everything, again?"

Kaiba turned to face Atem. He crossed his arms and stood even straighter, leaning back to increase the appearance of height. "This is a dream," Kaiba stated.

"That would mean you're dreaming of me," Atem pointed out.

Kaiba frowned. He probably was, but that didn't mean he was going to agree so easily. He studied the man before him. Atem's face was thinner, his skin darker than when he'd shared a body with Yugi. He was dressed like a pharaoh. His forehead, chest and arms were covered in gold; it dripped from his earlobes. This was the man Kaiba dueled in the Netherworld, not the pale copy conjured up by Kaiba's faulty memories in his computer lab.

"For all I know, you're the one dreaming and I'm in your dream," Kaiba countered.

"Yes. It's possible. I thought I'd let you go. We had our meeting. We dueled. We said goodbye. You should have moved on. I shouldn't have wanted… this shouldn't have happened."

"Still binding your life by 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' I see," said Kaiba with a smirk.

"What else is strong enough to hold our inclinations in check?" Atem gestured to the space station walls. "This is the proof of why all those 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' are necessary."

"And what is your Netherworld, then? Just one more obligation?"

Atem shook his head. Golden stalks of hair swung gently from side to side. His thoughts travelled backwards through time. This was exactly why he hadn't contacted Kaiba before he had left. He wondered if Kaiba, too, was looking past the stars outside, was seeing the morning when Atem had walked into a tomb to duel Yugi and all possibility for goodbyes had vanished. "I'm where I belong," he said.

"Oh, really? Then why are you here shuffling through other people's dreams?"

"Not anyone's. Yours."

Kaiba flinched. He paused, and then as though reading all of Atem's unspoken doubts, he asked, "Were your memories worth losing your life over?"

"Enough, Kaiba. I didn't lose my life. I rejoined it."

Kaiba snorted. "You left it behind as well."

Atem smiled, a slight lift of the lips that managed to convey sadness instead of joy. It was strange that Kaiba of all people, had been the one to notice something that Atem had spent every moment denying.

Talking about memories was safer.

"As I walked into the Netherworld, my memories flooded back like a wave battering the shoreline. Suddenly, I wasn't trying to figure out who everyone was, I wasn't pretending to rule and hoping no one would notice… I was the pharaoh. I knew it. I remembered it." He shook his head. "It was overwhelming. I was drowning when I'd only known thirst before."

"Did you tell all those people I saw in your throne room that you'd been faking it the whole time?"

"Of course not. I'm their infallible, semi-divine pharaoh. I'm their friend." A slight bitterness laced his words.

Kaiba had never figured out the intricacies of friendship. It made sense that lying was one of the prerequisites. "So, why tell me?"

"I'm not sure." This time Atem's smile touched his eyes. "Because I can. Because you're just as stubborn and wrong-headed as I am. Because you're smart enough to figure out a way to barge into the Netherworld and short-sighted enough not to have asked yourself 'why.'"

Kaiba snorted. The sound was almost friendly.

"What about you?" Atem asked, finally moving from defense to attack. "After all, I'm not the only one wandering through dreams tonight."

"You once told me that even if I beat you, I wouldn't be able to hold on to it, that within a week it would become as meaningless as all my other victories. I'm going to prove you wrong." Even in a dream, Kaiba's voice was harsh. It was hard to tell if he was answering Atem's question or changing the subject.

"You already have. You've changed since that day at Alcatraz. You've grown, Kaiba. Accept it."

"Do you really think that?" Kaiba asked. He knew he would dismiss whatever answer he received once he woke up.

"Yes." Atem looked away from the naked longing in Kaiba's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Kaiba asked.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. His lip curled. "You think you _could_ hurt me?"

"I think I did. I never meant to make things worse."

Kaiba reminded himself that this was just a dream. None of it counted. He paused. The words came slowly; Kaiba found a freedom in saying them. "Learning too late that you were gone without a word of goodbye... the months of trial and error to find you, wondering if everyone was right. You have a long way to go to reach worse."

Atem's eyes fell once again. "Even dreams are dangerous, then."

Kaiba's smile was a knife edge in the darkness. "They always are."

Atem paused. "I miss danger," he whispered. He felt free to admit it here. _"This must be a dream,"_ Atem thought.

"Is your Netherworld so lacking in challenge?" Kaiba asked.

Atem drew in a breath and then released it. There was no one to hear his confession but Kaiba. "The challenge is living in peace."

Kaiba laughed. "So much for paradise."

Atem smiled back. He couldn't bring himself to agree, that was too disloyal, too much in opposition to the gods who had brought him to a safe harbor, a place of rest. But he was glad Kaiba was here to put his own selfish thoughts into words.

Kaiba pressed his lips together. If this was his dream, he should know what to say next. But standing here, watching Atem watch him, was enough.

Almost.

"We said goodbye already. Why are you here?" Kaiba asked.

Atem shook his head. "I don't know. There are no bindings between us, nothing owed. But here we are. Dueling you is like nothing else. Each duel left me aching for… something… for the next time we met. That hasn't changed."

Kaiba's skin shone in the starlight, pale as a statue that had yet to be painted. Atem felt an impulse to reach out, to touch his rival in a way he never had before. That felt dangerous, too. Atem shifted his weight, then took a step towards Kaiba.

"You were right about one thing," Kaiba said, his voice husky and rough. "Winning… it isn't enough." Kaiba took an unconscious, unwary step forward in response.

Whatever tie had connected them broke. The dream shattered, snapping them back to their own worlds.

Atem sat up in bed, gasping, his fine cotton sheets pooling in his lap. He had the advantage of Kaiba in this: he believed in dreams. Atem lay back down, waiting for his breathing to slow, trying to relax into the room's silence. He closed his eyes but they snapped open almost instantly. He stared at the darkness, then groaned and got out of bed and walked out into the courtyard.

Atem gazed up at the stars. The courtyard was quiet, the essence of peace. Even the rustle of Mahaad's robes blended in with the water in the fountain. Atem turned to face his friend. "You always know when I'm awake."

"I always know when you're troubled, my prince."

"Please, my name is Atem."

"As you wish."

Atem looked up again. "The stars are brighter here than in Domino."

"Everything is."

An image of Kaiba bathed in light in came into Atem's mind. "Everything? I wonder." Atem looked at the courtyard, at the flowing water, the fruit filled trees. His lips twisted. "I don't think he's made for peace."

"Who?"

"Seto Kaiba."

Mahaad folded his arms across his chest and nodded. "Seto. It's a dangerous name to give a child. The God of Storms shapes his own."

Atem switched his gaze back to Mahaad. "I had a dream… except it was more than a dream. It was real."

"Such dreams are gifts from the gods."

Atem shook his head, trying to clear it. "Kaiba was there. I wanted to see him. I was on his space station instead of here, where I belong. I was happy. I don't understand."

Mahaad tilted his head. "What?"

"Why am I dreaming of Kaiba when this world is my destiny? How can my dream – the dream we shared – be a gift from the gods, when it left me tossing and turning, when it has me fleeing my bed for a glimpse of the stars?" Atem looked at Mahaad, half hoping that his friend and counselor would have an easy answer that made his difficult feelings fall into place.

"You are asking a lesser being questions that only a god can answer."

Atem nodded. He reached up to squeeze Mahaad's shoulder, then headed back to his bedroom and into a dreamless sleep.

It was morning. Daylight was filtering through the bedroom window. Kaiba sat up and shook his head. He'd dreamed of his mother, once. She'd told him she loved him. She'd told him to look after his little brother. She'd told him that he was going to be okay. He'd felt better when he'd woken up. Then again, he'd been eight. She'd said what he wanted to hear. It hadn't been real.

It had been a dream.

Just like last night.

But last night had been the wrong dream.

Kaiba should have dreamed about beating Atem. He should have re-lived his victory, just as he'd re-lived that vision of being torn apart by monsters night after night in the months that had followed that first penalty game.

Instead, Kaiba had dreamed that Atem had been reaching out to him, he'd dreamed that Atem had missed him, had mourned his absence.

It was worse than a nightmare. Those he could live with. Nightmares were meant to be lived through until you wished that you believed in prayers so that you could beg for them to end.

Nightmares were meant to dismissed when morning broke as you buried yourself in work until night came and sleep could no longer be avoided.

This had been more terrifying. Atem had come for him… not for Yugi or for Jounouchi, or even because the fate of the world was at stake and Atem needed his help or a ride home. Kaiba had been blindsided by his own desire. His dream had forced Kaiba to realize how badly he'd wanted Atem to want him.

Kaiba heaved himself out of bed.

"It was just a dream," Kaiba reminded himself.

And the cure for unruly dreams was to avoid sleeping. He had enough work to keep him busy, anyway.

If he didn't sleep, he couldn't dream.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for reminding me that transitions between scenes are a good thing!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** There's a real freedom for me in how much about Yu-Gi-Oh! is left to the reader's imagination. Not only are the big questions, like what happened to Kaiba at the end of the movie left open, but so are smaller more intimate ones – like how would Yugi adjust to starting college? Or to life on his own? Would he – or Ryou Bakura for that matter – still hear echoes, still listen for a second set of footprints? Why does Isono keep working for Kaiba? Is the pay really that good? Or is the bonus sometimes hearing the thoughts his boss will only say in the privacy of his office while Isono pretends to fade into the background? The thing I love about fanfiction is that you don't just get to explore all of these questions, big and small – you get to write a story and show what the answers could look like.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	4. Dream Tossed Heroes

**THE DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In the movie, Kaiba builds a space station to guard the Puzzle and to assemble it in zero gravity. At the end of the movie, it's where he launches his Dimensional Cannon, which takes him to the netherworld and Atem.

In _The Dark Side of Dimensions_ , Kaiba tries to reassemble the Puzzle, but two pieces are missing. He holds a tournament to force Diva and Yugi to give him the missing pieces so he can complete the Puzzle and call Atem. He repeatedly refers to Yugi as the pharaoh's "vessel."

 **HORAKHTY NOTE:** Horakhty is the god who appears at the end of Atem's duel with Zorc in the manga and anime.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4: DREAM TOSSED HEROES**

ANGER: From the opening lines of _The Aeneid_ : "I sing of arms and a man who from the boundaries of Troy, exiled by fate… tossed much on land and sea…" you know that Aeneas is in for one wild ride before he fulfills his – and not so coincidentally, the Roman Empire's – destiny. In the sea-tossed part of Virgil's epic propaganda poem, Aeneas (literally) washes up on the shores of Carthage. Its queen, Dido, with a little nudge from Venus, falls hard and fast. (Proving, once again, that it pays to be the son of the goddess of love.) Aeneas is fine with delaying destiny for dalliance. But, like all league-sanctioned heroes, he eventually puts aside love for duty. When his journey requires a side trip to the Underworld, he's stunned to encounter Dido, who died in despair after his desertion.

 _MORAL #1: Sometimes following your own destiny affects the fates of others as well.  
MORAL #2: No matter how logical your reasons for visiting the after-life, don't be surprised if you run into some unfinished business along the way.  
_

* * *

Over the week, it had become a pattern. Every night was another night without Atem. Every day was another day of burying himself in work until Kaiba was too tired to dream. Kaiba should have been pleased with the way his self-control extended even to his sleeping hours. He had vowed not to dream of Atem. It was another promise kept. Kaiba hurried from task to task as if he could run away from the knowledge it was a promise he wished he'd broken.

Kaiba turned back to his monitor. He had plenty to keep him busy. There was the space elevator for one thing. Countless scientific organizations wanted to use it. He had to set up a system to vet them. He had to decide if he wanted anyone but him to set foot up there at all.

"Nisama?"

"Hhhmnnn," Kaiba murmured. He'd forgotten that Mokuba was in his office with him. Again.

"It was fun, right? Digging up the Puzzle, setting up the tournament, breaking into Yugi's house, proving that you were right and everyone else was wrong…"

Kaiba walked over to the couch. He stood next to his brother. Mokuba leaned his head against his brother's leg as if Kaiba was a second and better armrest. Kaiba smoothed his brother's hair. It had gotten so short. Kaiba missed the wild, unruly mane. "I couldn't have done any of it without my vice president."

"Then talk to me! What's wrong, Nisama?"

"Nothing." Kaiba walked over to the floor to ceiling windows that lined his office wall and looked out. "I don't know," he admitted. "I came back and everything's the same. I didn't expect that." Atem was still dead. Kaiba was still the one chasing him, right into his dreams.

Mokuba followed him. He put his hand on his brother's arm. "What was supposed to change?""

Kaiba looked down briefly, then returned his gaze to the window. "I don't know," he said for the second time. He'd expected to feel different, he guessed. Victorious. Resolved. At peace with losing Atem.

Losing.

There was that word again. Kaiba had rejected the idea that losing meant death. But his adoptive father's dictum was horribly true if you flipped the equation: losing might not equal death, but death was undeniably a loss.

Kaiba walked back to his desk and sat down. Mokuba shrugged and returned to the couch. Kaiba frowned as he stared at his monitor, hoping Mokuba would think – or pretend to think – that he was scowling at the report on the screen. Kaiba refused to go backwards. He still wanted to see Atem. He knew that. He'd known it from the moment of turning his back on Atem after their duel. With every step, he'd fought the urge to turn around and demand a rematch.

Atem had told him at Alcatraz, that even if he won, it wouldn't matter, that Kaiba was trapped, that no victory would ever be enough.

He wasn't going to prove Atem right.

Kaiba wanted his last memory of Atem to be of the smile that had lit up his face when Kaiba had stormed into his hall.

He wasn't going to tarnish that. Even in a dream, if that was all he had left, he wasn't going to watch that smile turn into a frown of disappointment. Not for another duel… not even to see Atem again.

It was time to wake up. Atem was gone. Kaiba's life was here in this room.

Kaiba looked across to Mokuba. "Don't worry. I've got everything under control." He pushed back from his desk and stood up. "Come on, it's time to head home. When we get inside our gates, I'll even let you take the wheel. You can show me how much you've learned."

"Which car did you bring?" Mokuba asked.

"The silver Ferrari. Of course. It's the one you've been practicing on."

Mokuba narrowed his eyes as he assessed his brother. He suspected he was being bought off… or at least distracted. But he loved it when Seto let him drive, even if it was just from the gates to the garage.

Mokuba hid a grin. This was clearly the moment to see how far he could push things. "If there's no traffic after we clear downtown, I get to take the wheel before we get to the gates. And once we're on our grounds, I can go as fast as I want."

Kaiba considered Mokuba's counter-offer and then gave a quick jerk of his head. "Deal."

Mokuba bounded off of the couch. "Then, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Each night, Atem got ready for bed with an eagerness that embarrassed him. Kaiba never appeared, as stubborn and frustrating in slumber as in life. But Atem refused to give up. He roamed through his palace in his dreams, looking for something he'd misplaced. He ran from room to room, scattering precious objects in his wake, overturning pillows and furniture, victims of his frantic search. He finally left the confines of his palace, travelling further and further afield, as though he could escape his own kingdom. And then he was back among the stars.

But this time, he was alone.

Atem awoke with a gasp. Light slowly filtered into the room. He rubbed his eyes. Sometimes it seemed to Atem that seeing Kaiba, even in a dream, was the truest thing in his paradise-infused life.

Atem walked out to the courtyard to greet the dawn. Horakhty was there, floating in the air above him, shining as brightly as the newly minted sun. Atem bowed. She smiled down in response.

"I dreamed of Kaiba a few days ago," Atem said. "I don't understand. I helped him when he came here. Why is he unable to rest, now? Why is he still reaching out for me?"

"Was he the only one unable to rest? The only one searching for someone?"

Atem looked away, suddenly wanting to hide from her gaze. "No."

Horakhty smiled. "Was it a good dream?"

Atem gazed up at her. His face shone with her reflected light. "Yes."

"Then why are you seeking me out with the dawn?"

Atem stared at the sky as though he was still on the space station, as though Kaiba still stood beside him. "Night after night I keep looking for him in my dreams. He hasn't returned." Atem looked down again. "I won't see him again."

"Do you have so little faith in dreams?"

"I thought I would forget, that Domino would fade into memory. Instead even my dreams are real, as bright and vivid as my life here." Atem looked at Horakhty. "You're the only one I can ask. Diva talked about a collective consciousness, how our world is created out of all of our memories. Am I still a part of Domino? Is that the problem? Is that why I can't forget? Because I haven't been forgotten?"

"Is that what you want? To have your name erased from memory once more?"

"I did what I believed to be right. I fulfilled my mission; I followed my destiny, regardless of cost. I thought the gods wanted obedience."

"Usually. But that wasn't my question."

"I don't understand."

"What am I the god of?"

"You are the god of the pharaohs, of peace and the sun that warms us all," Atem recited. "And of a mother's love." He stopped and stared at Horakhty, suddenly aware of how little, even here, he remembered of his mother.

Horakhty nodded. "Exactly. I am _your_ god, little pharaoh. And you still haven't answered: what do _you_ want?"

"For myself?" Atem's lips twitched upwards. "You sound like Kaiba. He keeps asking that."

"Very possibly." She folded her arms across her chest; her hands disappeared into her bell sleeves.

"I never thought about it. I only know what I _don't_ want. I never wanted Kaiba to mourn me."

"Didn't you?" Horakhty asked gently.

Atem pressed his lips together. He looked away for a moment. "It was a great joy to be part of their lives. And yet, such pain, for Kaiba, for myself, has come of it."

"We owe you much. Do you wish to forget them, to vanish from their thoughts, to have a foothold in one world only?"

He thought of Yugi, determined to move on, to let Atem fade into memory. He thought of Kaiba, who might never stop bleeding inside. Would Kaiba be better off if he forgot that Atem had ever existed? He shuddered at the thought of Kaiba's response, as loud as if he was standing beside him yelling in his ear. But it might be the merciful choice. He'd freed his partner. Maybe it was time to do the same for his rival.

"I didn't ask what would be best for your friends. This is your gift," Horakhty reminded him.

Atem shook his head. "No," he admitted. "I don't want to lose them."

"How can you lose what you refuse to let go of? The ties that bind you together are of your own weaving. Does that comfort you?"

Yami's smile was as sad as his tears. "Comfort has never been my object." He shook his head as he thought of Kaiba. "I don't want him to hurt."

"Some things are above even a god's power."

"Mahaad said something…"

"Mahaad says many somethings. Which one is troubling you?"

"He said I was brought here because I believed this was my destiny. What if I hadn't? Believed, I mean."

"Our need to believe is eternal."

"But _what_ we believe… doesn't that sometimes change?"

Horakhty smiled her sphinx smile. She seemed to glow more brightly before vanishing. "So sometimes, does what we want."

It had been easy when Atem could tell himself that all he wanted was to make sure Kaiba was okay, that his eagerness was on Kaiba's behalf. But Horakhty's question: "What do you want for yourself?" had stripped that illusion away. He wanted to see Kaiba again. He couldn't pretend it was Kaiba's happiness he was thinking about.

Kaiba had taken a step towards him. What would have happened if he had completed the journey?

Domino University's one claim to fame was its engineering and computer science department. Half of Yugi's classmates were hoping to work for Kaiba Corporation one day. Yugi realized he shouldn't have been surprised to see Seto Kaiba on campus, but he was.

"Hey!" Yugi called out.

Kaiba spun around at the sound of his voice. Yugi wondered which one of them Kaiba was listening for.

Kaiba had ditched his Battle City outfit. The one he'd replaced it with made just as loud a statement. Yugi had to remind himself that dragons didn't exist because Kaiba's coat looked like it had been made from silver scales, from the peaked shoulders to the flaring hem. As usual, his coat seemed powered by its own internal wind machine. When Kaiba moved, the colors shifted, shading from silver to gray to blue and back again, as if a dragon's shadow was being reflected across its surface. Yugi resisted the urge to look up and check. He wondered if the new coat was a sign Kaiba was moving on... or if his obsession with dragons had simply grown worse. "It's good to see you," Yugi added.

Kaiba grunted.

Yugi tried again. "I've never seen you on campus before."

"The rector wants a donation. He seems to think an honorary doctorate is an acceptable quid pro quo."

Yugi took another look at Kaiba's coat and blinked. The rector was very formal… and always very conventionally dressed.

Kaiba shook his head. "Why would he think I give a damn about university degrees?" He looked at Yugi. Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. "Why are you bothering with this place? You could parlay your name into any development deal you wanted."

"I don't want to put my name on someone else's game. I want to design my own. I'm here to learn," Yugi said.

Kaiba stared, possibly shocked that someone couldn't code as easily as breathe. "Anyone at Kaiba Corporation could show you how to do that. Hell, Mokuba could teach the course."

"I'll keep that in mind if I get stuck."

Kaiba pulled out his phone and tapped for moment. Yugi's beeped in response. "I sent you Mokuba's number. Call when you have something finished."

Yugi didn't bother asking how Kaiba had gotten his number. He was Kaiba. Of course he had it. "Thanks."

Kaiba started walking with his usual purposeful stride. Yugi followed. He wondered where they were going. Yugi drew in a breath. "I'm sorry you never got to duel him again. I think he regretted that too."

Kaiba grunted. He could have told Yugi. But he hugged his knowledge to himself as if he was hiding Atem as well. Kaiba had once tried to keep Atem as a prisoner in the Puzzle. He wondered if this was any different.

They reached Kaiba's car. It was parked in the rector's spot. Kaiba grinned, briefly. "He wants a big donation."

Yugi laughed. As expected, Kaiba's car was sleek and powerful. Yugi tried to place the color. It was a mix of crimson and purple, soft but with a hint of blood. Something in it teased at his memory.

"Do you want a lift?" Kaiba asked.

"Thanks," Yugi said. As he got in, he realized why the color was so achingly familiar. It matched Atem's eyes. "I miss him, too," he said. It was something Yugi rarely admitted. But just as at the tournament where they'd faced Diva, something in Kaiba's raw grief soothed his own.

Kaiba pressed his lips together and stepped on the gas. They drove in silence. As he pulled up to the Kame game shop, Kaiba turned to Yugi and said, "I saw him."

Yugi's mouth dropped open. "Atem came here? How? He took the Puzzle with him…"

"Of course he didn't return." Kaiba scoffed. Atem would never have returned just to see Kaiba and Yugi should have known it. "I went there."

"You went… you went to the Netherworld? How?" Yugi reached out to touch Kaiba, needing to reassure himself that Kaiba wasn't a hologram that could somehow drive a car.

"I built a dimensional cannon." Kaiba smirked. "If I described the schematics would that sentence make any more sense to you?"

Yugi ducked his head. "How is he?"

"He said that he was fine."

"Good. That's what he told me too, you know... at the tournament."

Kaiba scanned Yugi's face. Yugi was smiling. His eyes were clear. Kaiba grunted. He'd given up his secret knowledge just to gain a more important clue: Kaiba knew something Yugi didn't. He knew what the words, _"I'm fine,"_ really meant.

Yugi put his hand on Kaiba's arm again. "I'm glad you got the chance to say goodbye."

"I went for a duel."

Yugi laughed. "Sometimes it's the same thing." Yugi opened the car door. "I'm glad, Kaiba. Truly."

As Yugi exited, Kaiba called out, "Yugi! I shouldn't have called you his vessel. You're more than that."

Yugi smiled. "Thank you," he said as he closed the door and headed for the game shop. It was only when he'd started work that he realized Kaiba hadn't said who'd won.

Kaiba drove back to the Kaiba Corporation garage. He hesitated for a moment. The usual pile of work was waiting in his office. He turned on his heel and headed to his computer lab instead. It was the first time he'd been back since he'd beaten the avatar he'd created to prepare for his duel with Atem. As soon as the door whooshed to a close behind him, the holographic Atem appeared. Kaiba stared at the dueling avatar in silence, then left the room. He went back to his office and locked the door behind him, glad that Mokuba was working on a project after school.

In the heat of the duel, it had been easy to dismiss the differences between the Other Yugi he'd known in Domino and the pharaoh he'd seen in the Netherworld. But now, weeks later, the gap between memory and reality gnawed at him. He could itemize the differences in his mind. The golden stalks of hair had been 5.08 centimeters longer and had flared more wildly. The skin was darker, HEX #C19B54 instead of Yugi's #E1BE9E.

Atem had been his rival. Beyond "brother," there was no higher title. What else about Atem had gone unseen?

None of it mattered. Atem was gone and the dueling avatar Kaiba had created was junk. It wasn't the real thing. Who cared if it was accurate? If he had any sense, he'd just delete it. Maybe then he could go to sleep without craving and fearing his dreams, without analyzing all the things he'd missed, all the ways his memories hadn't prepared him for meeting the man he'd defied time and space to find.

Kaiba looked out the window, surprised to note that the sun had set. It was time to pick up Mokuba. He could have taken his car, the one that matched Atem's eyes, but he called for Isono to drive him instead.

He got into the back seat of his limousine and stretched out his legs.

"Do you want to get some rest before we pick up your brother, sir? Should I raise the privacy partition?" Isono asked.

Kaiba shrugged. "Leave it down." They drove in silence for a few minutes. Then, Kaiba said, "A few days ago… I had a dream."

Isono's hands tightened on the wheel. Dreams were rarely good news. "Yes, sir," Isono replied. It was the safest answer.

"It wasn't a nightmare."

Isono nodded.

"I was in my space station. I was with… it doesn't matter who else was there. We were talking."

"About?"

"Stuff. That doesn't matter either. It was like talking to myself, except _he_ was there." Kaiba pressed his lips together. Even in the darkened car, even to Isono, who'd proven that, unlike Atem, he wouldn't cut and run out on him, Kaiba was unwilling to mention the strange sense of exhilaration he'd felt, as if his own internal firewall had been turned off for the night, leaving them free to say and do anything...

"Was it a good dream, sir?"

Kaiba's lips twitched upwards before settling into a frown. "That doesn't matter either. Dreams aren't real. They're just a randomly running subsystem of the waking default cognitive network."

Isono nodded. "As you say, sir."

"I suppose you think you know what I was dreaming about and why… I bet you think you've got it all figured out. But you're wrong," Kaiba snarled.

"I would never presume to tell you what meaning to attach to your dreams, sir. That is for you to decide."

Kaiba smirked. "Right. And I say it doesn't mean a damn thing." Kaiba leaned his head against the window. Isono drove on in silence.

Kaiba closed his eyes and compared Atem to his dueling avatar again. His dream had been accurate in all the ways his memory hadn't.

Atem had been smiling up at him in his dream, smiling as though they were the only two people in the universe, which Kaiba supposed they were. Somehow, Atem's smile in his dream melded with all the times he'd seen Atem smile at him before.

Kaiba had spent days trying to push away the memory of his dream… of Atem walking towards him, of Atem reaching out for him. Kaiba smiled. Now he was glad he hadn't succeeded. For the first time, he was eager for the day to end, eager to sleep, again.

Eager to dream.

Kaiba and Isono picked up Mokuba. Mokuba pouted when he saw the limousine; he was hoping for another chance to drive. But he greeted Isono politely and got in the backseat with his brother. They drove home.

"Drop us off at the garage," Kaiba ordered Isono when they entered the grounds. Mokuba beamed up at him.

They got in the silver Ferrari and headed out. If the driving lesson and dinner out afterwards were bribes, they were both too smart to mention it. Kaiba realized that he couldn't keep pacifying Mokuba with cars. But figuring out a long term strategy could wait until tomorrow. It was finally time to sleep.

Kaiba got into bed and closed his eyes. He opened them, looked around and smiled. He was back at his space station. He walked to the windows and stared at the stars. Kaiba breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the slap of sandals on the metal floor behind him.

"I've been waiting for you," Atem said.

Kaiba turned from the window. "That's what you said when I showed up in your Netherworld."

Atem grinned. "It was true then as well." He paused, then added, "I've been hoping you would come here."

"Why?" Kaiba asked. Even in a dream, it seemed too much to hope that Atem had been thinking of him, that Atem had gone to sleep wanting to see him.

"I need to know that you're alright," Atem answered.

"Of course I am," Kaiba sneered.

"I'm serious. When you came to my palace, I hoped that I helped you find some peace. When you left, I thought we'd never see each other again. Kaiba, how are you?"

Kaiba ground his teeth together. What was the point of finally giving in to sleep, if Atem was here only because of some misguided sense of obligation? Kaiba paced the floor, before turning back to Atem. "We're on a space station. You're covered in gold." Kaiba gazed at Atem, drinking in every detail of his gold and blue and white splendor, at the purple cape flowing down his back like a shadow. Kaiba swallowed, the sound audible in the quiet room. "Look at me. I was in bed a minute ago. Do you think these are my pajamas?" Kaiba glanced down and shook his head. He was in his Battle City gear, but it was an imperfect replica. The coat was as silver as a dragon's scale, the fine metal mesh achieving the suppleness of cloth. "I'm in fucking armor and leather boots. What more do you need to get it? This is a dream. The normal rules don't apply. We can say anything. And here you are repeating the same old shit."

"Kaiba, I _am_ being honest." It wasn't the whole truth, Atem knew that. But he clung to the few certainties he had. He cared. He was at fault. He had to help fix this. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I did and we both know it. I saw it when you walked into my hall. I hoped it was just bravado driving you, but it wasn't. Of course I'm worried."

Kaiba closed his eyes. Maybe this was a nightmare after all. Maybe the thought that Atem had wanted to see him just because Kaiba was important… just because Atem missed him… was nothing more than his own pathetic fantasy. Kaiba opened his eyes; they gleamed like lasers in search of a target. "Are you daring to pity me, again? Is that what you see when you look at me – an obligation to be crossed off your list, a child to be pacified and forgotten? Are you denying that I'm your equal after I beat you in a duel? Get this through your head, pharaoh – I don't want your help!"

Kaiba turned on his heel and stalked away, only to remember that this was a dream. There was nowhere to go.

Atem shook his head in frustration. His earnings hit the side of each cheek. This was turning into a rehash of all their worst fights, the ones where they talked past each other, where they stretched further apart with each word. This wasn't what Atem wanted, this wasn't what he'd hoped for through each night of fruitless searching. "Kaiba!" he yelled, his voice tight with frustration. "Why are you here?"

"Why are you?" Kaiba parried. "Was your first answer your only one? Because I owe nothing to someone who came here out of guilt and pity." His smile flashed out, hard-edged as ever. "And that would be a waste of a dream."

Atem drew in a breath and closed his eyes. Kaiba's words, _"This is a dream. We can say anything,"_ echoed in his ears, the warning bell for a second and final chance. "Whether you want to hear it or not, I do care. I do want to help. That's who I am and you know it and I will never apologize for it, even when that hurts your precious pride, but that's not the only reason..." Atem started.

"Is that what you think this is about? My pride?" Kaiba snarled. "When I saw you, when you said you were glad to see me, for one crazy moment, I thought you meant it. I should have known better than to believe in dreams, I should have..."

Atem held up his hand. "Kaiba, for once in your life, listen!" Kaiba fell silent. Atem continued, "I'm here because this is my dream, too. Because I've done everything asked of me in both life and death. And now a dream has brought me to a place that is beyond either. Maybe I should hope that you'd forget me. Maybe I shouldn't want anything beyond the chance to help. But I'm selfish. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to hear your voice, even when it's shouting belligerent nonsense." Atem crossed his arms and faced down his rival. "Kaiba, why are you here?"

Kaiba glared at him. _"This is a dream. You can say anything,"_ he reminded himself. "I didn't sleep for days, just to put off dreaming. I told myself over and over that I didn't want to wind up here ever again. I kept repeating that to myself, as if I could sledgehammer it into my brain and drive all thoughts of you out of it, until I finally knew that this was one battle I didn't want to win, that this place, here with you, was exactly where I wanted to be."

"So, what happens next?" Atem asked softly.

Kaiba shook his head. "With anyone else, I can see 12 moves ahead. With you, each time I climb over one obstacle, the entire chessboard changes."

"Not totally. One constant remains. We're both here," Atem reminded him. "We both want to be here. We both know that, even when we don't know anything else."

Atem took a step towards him. Kaiba stared at him, frozen. The last time this had happened, their dream had shattered as swiftly and surely as a wine glass falling onto a stone floor.

Atem paused, then took another step forward and another. He stopped and held out his hands, and smiled, waiting for Kaiba to join him.

Kaiba drew in a breath. This is a dream, Kaiba reminded himself. He took one stumbling step forward, then another. Kaiba reached out for balance and grabbed onto Atem's shoulders. Atem was solid. Kaiba bowed his head in thankfulness or some other emotion he'd spent his life avoiding. He held onto Atem, then pulled him closer, something Kaiba had never done – or imagined doing – in life. Atem stood there, looking up at him, unable to turn away as if Kaiba was more compelling than the galaxy outside.

Kaiba's fingers tightened on Atem's shoulders. His legs trembled until he was shaking too hard to stand. Kaiba's breath came in great, gulping gasps, burst out of his throat in something perilously close to sobs, although his eyes remained dry.

Atem stood still, almost afraid to breathe for fear of shattering this moment, this dream. He looked up, but if he was trying to see Kaiba's eyes, he was foiled by the heavy fall of Kaiba's bangs. Atem grabbed Kaiba's torso at the sides, anchoring him, holding them both up together as if they'd fall separately.

Atem had hugged Yugi, he'd hugged Jounouchi, he'd hugged Anzu. He'd shattered Kaiba's heart, he'd almost killed him on Pegasus' tower... but except for the occasional brush of fingers as they exchanged cards, the bump of a shoulder or thigh as they sat next to each other in a helicopter or a plane, this was the first time they'd touched. Almost unnoticed, one hand slipped around to stroke Kaiba's back. Atem curled his head against Kaiba's chest, never so keenly aware of the difference in their heights. If this was a dream, he should be taller, Atem thought. But he could hear Kaiba's heart beating and something felt right about snuggling so tightly against his rival's body, like a key and lock clicking into place.

Kaiba's breathing evened in response to Atem's rhythmic caresses, even as his confusion grew. Atem had always been able to do this to him – make him acutely aware of how little he knew or understood… about life and about himself most of all. Was this what he'd wanted without knowing it, ever since he'd crashed his way into the Netherworld? Had he been reaching out to Atem to duel... or had he simply been reaching out?

"You smiled at me when I barged into your palace," Kaiba said.

"I'm smiling now."

"That was real."

"This is real too."

Kaiba stared at Atem, his eyes wide and a little blank. "No. This is a dream," Kaiba stated.

And because it was a dream, Kaiba let himself do something he never would have allowed, awake. He let himself feel desire.

Kaiba closed his eyes. He could almost hear a nonexistent wind ruffling through Atem's hair, could almost smell the hint of cinnamon, could feel the silken softness of skin over muscle. He opened his eyes to meet Atem's gaze.

"This is a dream," Kaiba repeated.

And because it was a dream, Kaiba relaxed into Atem's embrace. He lowered his head. It was a chaste kiss, closed-mouthed, the mere shifting of lips over lips. It was too delicate a kiss to remain unchanged.

Kaiba lifted his head. "This is what dreams are."

"They truly are a gift from the gods," Atem said in wonder.

"Or a collection of random neurosynaptic signals that happened, against all odds, to line up in just the right way," Kaiba replied.

Atem chuckled against Kaiba's chest. "Or that."

"For once I don't care which it is," Kaiba said.

Yami reached up to caress Kaiba's cheek, to trace the curve of his lower lip, before drawing Kaiba's head back down to his and claiming Kaiba's lips again. Atem was surprised at their softness, at their pliancy, where he'd expected only hardness from Kaiba. Atem stood on tiptoe to taste Kaiba's neck, to run his tongue along the underside of Kaiba's jaw. Kaiba shivered in response.

If this was a gift, Atem thought, as his smile turned impish, he wanted to unwrap it. Atem reached up, grabbed Kaiba by the collars of his shirt and pulled them in opposite directions. Buttons went flying, baring Kaiba to the waist. Kaiba looked down, momentarily distracted. When had his turtleneck changed to a silk button-down shirt, let alone one with suspiciously shoddy workmanship?

Atem smirked up at him. "Who knew that dreams could be so convenient?" he asked before returning his attention back to Kaiba's body, tracing its contours with his tongue.

Kaiba's answering grin was equally smug. "Two can play this game." A flick of his wrist and Atem's Puzzle, still attached to its chain, was at Atem's back, no longer an obstacle. Kaiba pushed Atem's cape to the floor, where it lapped at their feet like a purple wave. Another gentle push and the top half of Atem's garment slid to his waist, exposing his torso, except for the heavy band of gold resting on his collarbones. "Exquisite," Kaiba murmured as he claimed Atem's lips once more, deepening his kiss, as if this was something he'd done for years, instead of the first time.

He pulled Atem even more tightly into his arms, until they were pressed together, skin to skin, from head to waistband. Atem's hands reached up to caress the flat planes of Kaiba's torso, to touch his nipples, to tease them into small spikes. Kaiba gasped, sensations flooding into a touch-starved life.

Kaiba's only consolation was that Atem was just as stunned, just as shaken. He looked at Kaiba as a drowning man might look at a thrown rope, unsure if he was being led to safety or into deeper water, unsure if he wanted escape or surrender.

"I've been given everything… and I want more," Atem said, still staring at Kaiba with those drowned eyes.

Kaiba smiled, a gesture disconcerting in its gentleness.

The last time, their dream had snapped with the suddenness of a rubber band breaking. This time, it faded. Their only warning was a softly glowing light, before they found themselves in their separate beds, each achingly alone.

Kaiba sat up with a groan. His sheets fell around his waist. His bare chest glistened with sweat. He shook his head as the familiar walls of his bedroom replaced the space station windows and the stars.

It had been his first kiss. It had been a dream. It had felt so real.

Kaiba ran his tongue over his lips. He could still taste Atem. He reached out blindly. He was alone in bed, but his body still tingled everywhere Atem had touched him, still ached everywhere Atem hadn't.

Kaiba's breathing quickened. He fought to control it. He hadn't had one of _those_ dreams in ages. He froze as he finally identified the shadowy figure that had dominated them throughout the years. He raced to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet, not sure what he was trying to expel – his own weakness in enjoying every one of those caresses or the realization that Atem was truly gone, that he was alone.

Kaiba brushed his teeth, then stepped into his shower and turned on the water. He soaped himself, as if he could clean away the memory, even as his hands unconsciously mimicked Atem's movements, running over his chest, caressing his nipples in imitation. The entire encounter had been tinged with danger, but he'd felt safe. He'd felt free. He leaned against the wall as his hands drifted lower, as his imagination took over where memory left off...

Kaiba got out of the shower on shaking legs, toweled himself off and got back into bed, ready for once to go back to sleep. He felt vaguely comforted as he drifted off… almost as if he wasn't alone.

Atem sat up with a gasp. He looked around the room and groaned. Stepping towards Kaiba had felt so natural, Atem hadn't questioned why he was moving until Kaiba had ended up in his arms.

If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Kaiba's body pressed against his, could still feel Kaiba's mouth crashing down on his for the first time.

Atem had expected Kaiba to taste spicy or salty, but his kiss had been sweet, gentle almost, until it had heated with the passion of a duel.

But that sweetness had come with a price.

Atem raised his fingers to his lips as if he could still feel Kaiba's pressing down on them He swirled his tongue inside his mouth, trying to convince himself he was tasting Kaiba, again. He reached out, and as his arms closed around empty air, he ached with the loss of Kaiba's body.

Nothing had ever felt less dreamlike in his life, no sensation more immediate than the ones he'd just shared with Kaiba. And now he was back to an eternity in paradise without the man who'd made him, briefly, even in a dream, remember what it was to live.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** There's a real freedom for me in how much about Yu-Gi-Oh! is left to the reader's imagination. Not only are the big questions, like what happened to Kaiba at the end of the movie left open, but so are smaller more intimate ones – like how would Yugi adjust to starting college? Or to life on his own? Would he – or Ryou Bakura for that matter – still hear echoes, still listen for a second set of footprints? Why does Isono keep working for Kaiba? Is the pay really that good? Or is the bonus sometimes hearing the thoughts his boss will only say in the privacy of his office or limousine while Isono pretends to fade into the background? The thing I love about fanfiction is that you don't just get to explore all of these questions, big and little – you get to write a story and show what the answers could look like.

 **AENEID NOTE:** I read _The Aeneid_ in high school and when I was thinking about stories involving visiting the Underworld, it popped into my head. Which means that my English teacher was correct in saying that the things you learn in high school may come in handy after you graduate… although I'm not sure fanfiction usefulness was what she had in mind.

 **HORAKHTY NOTE:** I once read this list of the things Horakhty is in charge of. I dutifully wrote it down for future reference and just as promptly forgot to bookmark the site. So, I'm not sure how accurate the list is and it isn't mentioned in canon at all, but I decided I liked it.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	5. Field of Dreams

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In _The Dark Side of Dimensions_ , Kaiba tries to reassemble the Puzzle, but two pieces are missing. He holds a tournament to force Diva and Yugi to give him the missing pieces so he can complete the Puzzle and call Atem. He repeatedly refers to Yugi as the pharaoh's "vessel."

 **DUEL LINKS NOTE:** Kaiba was working on some kind of game where duelists can be connected in some unspecified, possibly telepathic way in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and in the manga chapters, "Transcend Game" that preceded the movie. I decided to borrow the name "Duel Links" from the actual game for the story, because it seems to fit his project and because using the name of the actual game makes me happy.

 **HORAKHTY NOTE:** Horakhty is the god who appears at the end of Atem's duel with Zorc in the manga and anime.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 5: FIELD OF DREAMS**

BARGAINING: Ray Kinsella builds a baseball diamond in a cornfield, plowing under prime Iowa farmland in the process. Skipping straight past logic or introspection, Ray decides to double down on determination instead... and the tenacity of his unexplored need creates a haven between dimensions, a field of dreams. If we change the scenery and the characters – and the game – one question remains. What unacknowledged longings accompanied Seto Kaiba to work as he tried to recreate his rival?

 _MORAL: To borrow Field of Dreams' most iconic line… "If you build it, he will come."_

* * *

Atem fled his bedroom at the first sign of dawn. He wandered down to the river, needing to hear its unending voice. Atem had no right to expect Horakhty to be there. But as so often seemed to be happening lately, his selfishness was rewarded.

"Was it a good dream?" Horakhty asked.

Atem blushed as he re-lived Kaiba's lips crashing down on his. He looked down at his linked hands, remembering them wandering over Kaiba's body, claiming it as his domain. "Yes. It was," Atem mumbled, his eyes still lowered.

When Atem finally looked up, Horakhty was smiling. His color deepened still further. He dropped his gaze back to the ground. "Kaiba has probably already dismissed it. I can't. I know better."

"Yes." Horakhty paused, then asked, gently, "So, why are you seeking me out again with the dawn?"

Atem paced a few steps, turned, paused, then burst out, "This was all so much easier before Kaiba crashed into my world."

"Was it?"

"Yes! I accepted my fate. Then Kaiba came here and… and..." Atem paused again. "And he made me miss him. He made me want things I'd never thought of wanting before." Atem shook his head. "Seeing Kaiba, even in a dream was a gift beyond measure. It's ungrateful to want more."

"But you do."

Atem looked down again. "Yes." He drew in a breath and faced her. "Why do you keep asking me what I want?"

"Because you have been a good and faithful servant. I am your god. I would reward you, but I think the gift I can best bestow is the time to learn what it is you wish for."

"Isn't it a little late for wishes, now that I'm here? Isn't resignation and acceptance all that is left?"

"If you say so, that will undoubtedly be true."

"And if I don't?"

"Then it is time to begin."

"I keep thinking about that dream. Things happened that I didn't plan or expect or even know I wanted. He was there. I was there..." Atem said, not quite able to frame his thoughts into a question.

"There are places where the walls between dimensions thin. Dreams are one such place."

" _One?_ Are there others?" Atem asked eagerly.

"Do you want there to be?"

Atem looked down; even his hair seemed to droop. He shivered and wrapped his cloak around himself. "Once I would have said 'no,' without doubt or hesitation." He glared at something unseen in the distance. "Kaiba needed all his technology to find a way here."

Horakhty shrugged. "There are many forces in the worlds beyond our borders. Maybe his technology is one of them. If he believed."

Atem chuckled. "He does. Fervently. In himself." Atem paused, then added, "And in the systems he creates." Atem looked up at Horakhty. His eyes glowed in the morning light. "But his way doesn't have to be mine."

Horakhty smiled the fond smile of a mother watching her child tie his shoes for the first time. "Has it ever been?"

Atem chuckled again.

Horakhty continued, "There are places and times when the barriers between worlds temporarily vanish, where human need creates spaces – pockets between dimensions – belonging to both. Your history… every history… is littered with such tales."

Atem stared at her, squinting a little at her brightness. "Could Kaiba have created such a place?"

"Not alone."

Atem smiled. He cupped the Puzzle that still hung around his neck in one hand. "Now, it's my turn to find a way to him."

Kaiba didn't know what to think about his dream. He could tell himself over and over that none of it was real, as if the repeated words were a spell to ward off hope. But each denial reminded him that he wanted so much more. He'd spent years pushing aside the past aside every time it tried to follow him home... only to now crave a different kind of haunting.

Kaiba leaned back in his office chair, remembering the feel of Atem's lips moving beneath his, of Atem's body pressing tightly against him… hearing Atem telling him that this was his dream, too. Kaiba groaned.

Sometimes it seemed easier just not to think at all. He'd dreamed of Atem. He'd liked it. The end. He had other - more important - concerns that stray dreams, enjoyable or not.

Like Mokuba.

Kaiba wasn't sure why Mokuba was still anxious, weeks after his return from the Netherworld or why Mokuba kept harping on wanting his brother back when Kaiba was standing in front of him. And Kaiba certainly didn't get Mokuba's ridiculous obsession with Kaiba's happiness level (something Kaiba himself had no intention of exploring.) But, Mokuba was unhappy and Kaiba wanted to fix the problem. So, it made sense to go back to the things that _did_ make Mokuba happy and start from there.

Mokuba liked helping Kaiba find the Puzzle pieces, he liked breaking into Yugi's house. He liked working with Kaiba, planning their tournaments, setting up the rules and making sure they were obeyed. Kaiba leaned back in his chair and grinned at the image of his brother, dashing through the streets of Domino at Battle City, long hair flying, like a bossy, whistle-blowing, miniature tornado.

Kaiba paused. One thing Mokuba _hadn't_ liked was being in charge when Kaiba had been off in the Netherworld. Kaiba frowned. That could argue a lack of ambition or a fear of independence, but Mokuba, in general, gobbled up responsibility like candy. He was eager to drive. He kept bugging Kaiba to teach him how to fly. It was possible that Mokuba simply preferred Kaiba's presence to his absence. Kaiba leaned back in his chair for a moment, enjoying that particular conclusion. He leaned forward again and tapped his computer to life. All he needed to do was strategize ways to increase the things that made Mokuba happy and soon everything would be back to normal.

Kaiba barely noticed the day going by. Someone had left some food at his desk at some point. He absentmindedly picked at it, before pushing it aside. He barely looked up when Mokuba knocked on his door. He grunted in greeting, then returned his gaze to his monitor.

Mokuba scanned the room and sighed. It was obvious that his brother had spent the day staring at his computer, pretending to work. Again. Mokuba paused, then said, "I think you should tear down the space elevator."

Kaiba didn't look up. "No."

"Why not? You're not planning on using it again, are you?"

"The Dimensional Cannon burned up in the journey, remember?" Kaiba parried. Kaiba frowned. He could rebuild the cannon. He could go to see Kisara. Visiting his dragon was a perfectly acceptable reason for... "No," Kaiba said suddenly. "It's served its purpose."

"Then why not get rid of the space station?" Mokuba insisted.

"Because it's mine."

"At least, lease it to one of those scientific groups that want it. That's not losing, it's sharing."

"I told Yugi," Kaiba said abruptly. That was sharing, too, he supposed.

"You did? That's great!" Mokuba beamed up at him, space station forgotten. If his brother had told Yugi, then whatever weird hold Atem had had on him must be fading.

Kaiba nodded.

"How did he take it?" Mokuba asked.

"He asked me how Atem was." Kaiba smiled, remembering how badly Yugi had misunderstood the meaning of the word, "fine."

"No! I mean, how did he take the news that you won?"

"I didn't tell him that."

Mokuba scrunched his nose. His brows drew together. "Why not?"

Kaiba shrugged, delaying an answer. It had seemed too private, too _intimate_ , to reveal to anyone but Mokuba. "It doesn't matter."

Mokuba's mouth dropped open. "It doesn't matter that you won?" he said, his voice rising to a squeak by the last word.

Kaiba shrugged again. "It doesn't matter whether Yugi knows or not." He turned back to his monitor. His plan for fixing things was taking shape, if only Mokuba would leave him alone long enough to put a prototype together. "I'm busy."

"You've been staring at the screen for weeks. That doesn't mean you're busy."

"This time I am. I have an idea for when we roll out Duel Links."

Mokuba looked at him. His eyes narrowed.

Kaiba's lips thinned. Was Mokuba doubting his word? "I'm not repeating myself. I have an idea. It's not ready to be shown."

Mokuba put his hands on his hips. "Why?"

Kaiba grinned. "Because it's a surprise."

It was the grin that convinced Mokuba to drop the subject. And his brother wasn't the only one who could make plans.

Yugi had gotten used to Mokuba, accompanied by Isono, stopping by the game shop every month or so. Mokuba would buy a single booster pack, they'd exchange a few pleasantries and then he'd leave, only to reappear a month later. It had gone on for months, whenever Mokuba was in town. Until the tournament. Yugi waved at Mokuba as he entered the game shop, suddenly aware of how long it had been since he'd seen him last.

Mokuba closed his eyes, picked out a booster pack and brought it up to the counter as if no time had passed, as if the last time they'd been in the same room hadn't involved a tournament or an encounter with mystical artifacts and other-worldly villains.

"Are you building a deck?" Yugi asked.

"Nah, these are for Nisama," Mokuba said.

"Kaiba gets his cards from booster packs?" Yugi asked, his voice betraying his confusion.

"Of course not," Mokuba scoffed. "But this is a big part of the game for most people, right? The excitement of opening a pack, hoping you get something good? That's what my brother tries to capture with his holograms. So, I figure it makes sense to remind him." Mokuba laughed. "Even if he gets mostly fish cards."

"Fish cards? You mean cards with Water attributes? Mako would be so jealous."

Mokuba shook his head. "My brother used to call weak cards, 'small fry.' Only I didn't know what that meant so I called them fish cards and the name stuck… well, with us at least."

Yugi laughed, partly in relief. Every time a Kaiba started telling a story from their past, he braced himself for some new, painful revelation.

"I stopped buying them when we got busy with… you know… the tournament and everything…" Mokuba's voice trailed off. He remembered that "everything" had included breaking into Yugi's house. That had been fun, actually, but this didn't seem the time to mention it.

"I'm glad you stopped by. You don't need a reason."

Mokuba smiled. He looked around the store, then eyed Yugi's button down shirt and khaki pants. "You've stuck with your new look."

Yugi nodded. He was about to make some glib comment about getting older or graduating high school, but Mokuba was a Kaiba and there was something freeing about being honest. "I needed to make a break. I needed something that didn't remind me… something that was just me."

Mokuba nodded. "I get it. I'm trying to decide on my personal style, too. You know, as part of our corporate brand."

"Your what?"

Mokuba sighed. Loudly. "You know. Branding. Like when you think of Kaiba Corporation, you think of the Blue Eyes White Dragon first. But then you think of my brother's coats and belts everywhere."

"Your brother dresses like that because he thinks it's good business? I thought he just wore whatever he wanted…"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. "Doing what he wants and sticking it to anyone who gets in his way _is_ my brother's brand. Just like your brand is being nice and welcoming."

"Uh… yeah… I mean I hope so…"

"Not everyone could pull that off. On most people it'd be fake. Like could you imagine my brother trying…"

"No!" Yugi said quickly. "So branding is a fancy way of saying you should be yourself?"

"No. It's being yourself and making it work for you." Mokuba grinned. "Like your store. It's just run down enough to make people feel at home."

Yugi glanced around; they really did need to repaint the walls. They'd been meaning to do so for months. Yugi caught a glimpse of Isono's face. It was hard to tell since Isono had kept his sunglasses on, but he looked suspiciously oblivious to everything being said around him.

"So how is your brother?" Yugi asked.

Mokuba stiffened. "Okay. I mean… you know he saw Atem. He said he told you."

Yugi nodded. "He did."

"He won even."

Yugi looked at him, startled. Kaiba hadn't mentioned that.

Mokuba frowned. "He didn't act like I thought he would, though."

"He didn't gloat, you mean?" Yugi asked.

Mokuba shrugged and nodded. "Yeah. I mean he smiled when he told me about it, but… I don't know, something was off. If it was anyone else…"

"He's sad, Mokuba. He misses Atem."

"I don't get it," Mokuba burst out, all casual talk of clothes and branding and fish cards forgotten.

"What, Mokuba?"

"I mean you're the one who was all smushed up with Atem, and you're okay with him being gone. If it doesn't bother you, why is my brother so bent out of shape?"

"What?"

"Well… you are fine with it, right? That's what you said."

Yugi frowned. Mokuba was right. Yugi had been telling everyone that he was fine. It just sounded different, now that he was hearing his words repeated back to him in Mokuba's voice. "It's not that simple, Mokuba. The Ceremonial Duel… that was the only way the story could end. But… it was… I was…" Yugi paused and took a breath. He swallowed. He'd spent months saying the right things, and now all of a sudden, the temptation to give the honest answer instead of the polite one was irresistible. Yugi drew in a breath and exhaled. "It hurt. I miss him." He'd never talked about it, not even to Anzu or Jounouchi, and here he was unburdening himself to a second Kaiba. The tears that he had never shed because he knew that he should be happy, that he should be strong for his friends, that he was never going to go back to being a whiny crybaby who needed Atem, started to well in his eyes. He let them fall, feeling a sense of freedom, as if they washed away the barriers he had put up around his own grief.

"Oh shit…" Mokuba whispered. Mokuba glanced back at Isono, who hadn't moved from his place by the door. Isono shook his head, slightly. "Yugi…" Mokuba started.

"It's okay, Mokuba. It's okay to miss him."

"You sure?" Mokuba asked.

"I'm sure. Maybe caring about my friends… about Atem… is part of my brand." Yugi smiled. "Just like our messy store."

Mokuba bit his lip then said in a rush, "I miss my mom sometimes and I never even met her." He ducked his head and then looked up. "You're a good guy, Yugi. I never thought that counted for much before I met you."

Mokuba walked up to Isono. It looked for a moment like they were going to hug, then Mokuba tipped his head and walked to the door, instead. Isono bowed to Yugi, then turned to open the door.

"Can I sit up front with you?" Mokuba asked when they got to the limousine.

"Of course."

"You're not going to tell my brother what I said about my mom, right?" Mokuba asked as he settled into the leather seat.

Isono turned on the engine and pulled out of his parking spot. "Did you say something? I was too busy using my eyes to bother with my ears."

They drove for a block or two in silence. Mokuba glanced at Isono, then looked away, then back again. By the third head swivel, Isono turned to him and asked, "Is something troubling you?"

"No! Well… not really… it's just… it's just that I thought everything would finally go back to normal. No… better than normal. I thought when Nisama got everything squared away… when he won… I thought he'd be the brother I remember from the orphanage, again."

"I didn't have the privilege of knowing Seto-sama then. What was he like?"

"He was happy." Mokuba waited a moment but Isono didn't respond. Mokuba glanced at Isono but his sunglasses were on and he was facing the road. "He was happy. He _was_ ," Mokuba insisted. "He played games."

"He still does," Isono pointed out.

"He smiled," Mokuba countered.

"He still does, at times," Isono said.

"Not enough," Mokuba grumbled. "And not lately. I keep trying to figure out what's wrong."

Isono didn't answer. He wondered when things had ever been right. The closest might have been in those months after Alcatraz. His boss had seemed different, although Isono had been unable to pinpoint just where the difference had lain. Kaiba had been as driven as ever, but his intensity had seemed lighter, somehow. As he'd built his theme park, as he'd watched its success, his face had sometimes shone with a reflected joy that inched closer and closer to the real thing with each passing day.

And then, sometime after the first KaibaLand had opened, sometime during the construction of the next, Kaiba had gotten Yugi's email. Isono had been with him as he'd opened it and read its contents.

Kaiba's eyes had widened. He'd stared at it, and then for the first time since Isono had known him, Kaiba had re-read an email a second and then a third time, as if the simple sentences would reform themselves in between each scan. His face had shifted again, but instead of hardening into anger, it had, for an instant, crumpled into childlike hurt.

Kaiba had spoken softly. Isono had been the only person in the room, but Isono had never been sure if his boss had actually been speaking to him or releasing his question to the air.

"Was it all a lie?" For an instant, Kaiba's lower lip trembled, before he got it under control.

"What, sir?" Isono had asked carefully.

Kaiba stood. In one fluid motion, he grabbed a pair of scissors and hurled them at the painting on the wall. The glass shattered as the frame fell to the floor. Kaiba breathed in and out quickly, then said, "He promised that our road of battle stretched as far as the eye could see. He said that I was his equal. He knew I was waiting to prove it in a duel. He was my _rival_ …"

"Has something happened to Yugi Mutou?" Isono asked, startled.

"No," Kaiba snarled. "Not to _Yugi_." He managed to turn the name into an insult.

"The other one?" Isono asked. It was the first time he'd acknowledged he'd heard any of the words that his boss or the other boy had screamed at each other throughout their duels.

"He left. Without a word. After all his speeches, I was the last to know. So, tell me, did they play me for a fool with all their talk of friendship and unity?"

"No!" Isono drew in a breath, wondering if he'd still have a job after the conversation was over. "Please sir… I don't know what's happened, but think of your own connections… to your brother… to your work. Isn't your life richer for them?"

Kaiba looked up at that. A gleam returned to his eyes. Isono was unsure whether to trust it.

"Connection! That's it! If he thought he could escape, could just run away like a coward..." Kaiba turned back to his keyboard and started typing feverishly. "You can go, Isono. Tell Mokuba that I have a new project."

Kaiba had completed his first prototype. He'd almost died testing it. Isono had watched and wondered what his boss was chasing. Kaiba had hosted a tournament and built a second prototype. He'd traveled dimensions. He'd come home. And Isono still wondered.

Isono shook his head, dismissing the memory. He had another Kaiba brother to attend to.

"Your brother is the smartest man I have ever met," Isono said.

Mokuba nodded. Isono hadn't answered his question, but his statement, and the calm way he'd said it, eased something in Mokuba, at least for now. Mokuba looked at Isono curiously. He'd been around for most of Mokuba's life.

"Why have you stuck with us through all this time?" Mokuba asked. "You could have left. Everyone else does."

"I started out as a bodyguard. It's a curious word, as though the body was the only thing that needed guarding." Isono flushed, glad that they were almost home.

Jounouchi had waited all day for his shift to end. It sounded like Yugi had news. He raced towards the shop, nearing it as Mokuba and Isono exited. He stopped short and squinted, trying to decide if it really was Mokuba. He chuckled to himself as the boy got in a limousine. How many other limousine-riding, suit-wearing, pint-size gremlins were running around Domino? Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Mokuba for ages, not since that crazy tournament with Diva in the Kaiba Dome. Hadn't seen the big pain-in-the-ass either, even at graduation, not that Jounouchi had expected Kaiba to show, given Kaiba dropping out and all. Jounouchi put his hands in his jacket pocket and started whistling as he walked up the block, pleased by the reminder that he had a High School Diploma, and that Kaiba, for all his money, didn't.

Yugi looked up when Jounouchi entered and smiled in relief. He had a lot to tell Jounouchi, but now that his friend was here, he wasn't sure how to start.

"How's Mokuba? I saw the kid getting into that big assed limousine," Jounouchi said.

Yugi nodded. "Yeah, he came by for a booster pack."

"You mean Kaiba buys cards like an ordinary person?"

Yugi laughed. "Not exactly. Mokuba picks up a pack for him every now and then."

"Is he having another tournament soon? I'm never going to get any sponsors if he stops throwing them."

"I'm not sure. Maybe after he gets his new system, whatever it is, up and running." Yugi frowned. He shook his head and said, "I think Mokuba's worried about Kaiba."

"When _isn't_ Mokuba worried about his brother? Who's planning on taking over his corporation this week?"

Yugi laughed. "Nobody, I hope." He drew in a breath. "I saw Kaiba on campus yesterday. He said… he said..." Yugi paused.

"He's lucky you give him the time of day after all the shit he said about you! Inviting you to a tournament then ordering you around, calling you a vessel like you weren't worth nothing…" Jounouchi's voice rose with each word until he was shouting.

"Kaiba apologized for that… kind of," Yugi said.

"That doesn't make up for saying it in the first place!"

"Kaiba was angry... and hurt I think… you know… about everything that happened." Yugi looked down. His next words were so low, Jounouchi had to strain to catch them. "Someone had to be screaming mad that Atem is gone. Someone had to throw a fit without caring about anything but how much it hurt."

Jounouchi paused, trying to remember if this was the first time that Yugi had mentioned Atem's name… and now Yugi was sad all over again, sadder than Jounouchi had ever seen him and it was all because of Kaiba. "Fuck Kaiba anyway. He didn't even like Atem. He wasn't invited to the ceremonial duel. Atem wanted us there, not Kaiba. _We_ were his friends."

"Sometimes," Yugi said softly, "I wonder if Atem knew what he wanted."

Jounouchi reached out and touched Yugi's shoulder. "Of course he did. This is Atem we're talking about! He always knew what he was doing." He paused. "It's okay to miss him. It's okay to remember what a great guy he was… what a great guy he still is, wherever he is."

Yugi smiled and nodded. "You're right. I'm being silly." He started locking up the store. It was a little early but he needed something to do with his hands. "I'm glad you could come over. I got some news. I wanted to tell you in person."

Jounouchi came over to him. "What's up, Yugi? You know I'm here for you whatever it is."

"It's nothing like that. It's just… Kaiba told me… he said that he went to the Netherworld, he saw Atem."

"No way! People can't just pick up and hop over to another dimension like it's going to Burger World. How did he even get there?"

Yugi shrugged. "I asked but I have no idea what he was saying. Something about dimensions and a cannon."

Jounouchi shivered. "Sounds like some kind of weird occult shit. I thought Kaiba was allergic to magic."

Yugi shrugged again. He privately thought that Kaiba was likely to believe in anything that got him a duel with Atem… a duel he apparently had won, if Mokuba was right.

"How's Atem? What did he say?" Jounouchi said, breaking into Yugi's thoughts.

"Atem said he was fine." Yugi paused, wondering if Atem's "fine" looked anything like his. Yugi shook his head, shaking away that thought as well. "Just like he told me at the tournament. I'm glad he's happy."

"Yeah, if anyone deserves a fancy after-life, it's Atem." Jounouchi paused. "Hey! I wonder if he has… like… you know… a harem. I mean he _is_ a pharaoh, that must come with some amazing perks… like girls in bikinis peeling you grapes and stuff. Too bad we can't all visit!"

Yugi smiled. It was nice to think of Atem enjoying himself, surrounded by friends… and by beautiful girls in bikinis.

Yugi took another look around the store. Everything was in place for the morning. They exited. He locked up the store. Yugi turned to Jounouchi. "Does it sometimes feel like nothing turned out like you expected?"

Jounouchi shrugged. He was working cleaning hospital floors. Yugi was at one school, Honda another and Anzu was in New York City. His friends had plans. Sometimes it seemed like all he had was the pipe dream of being a professional duelist. The future had sounded so much easier and so much farther away when they'd talk about being friends forever on Domino High School's roof. "Yeah," Jounouchi said, as they left the store and opened the door to Yugi's house. "I know exactly what you mean."

Kaiba's day had started productively enough. It had ended the same way as all the other ones, lately. Kaiba growled at his empty office. He swept out his hand. Coffee mugs and papers went flying. He got up and stalked around his room.

He should be looking at production schedules. He should be finishing his surprise for Mokuba.

But Atem kept intruding... how he'd smiled at Kaiba, how he'd taken the first step forward when Kaiba had barged into his throne room, how gold had glittered on his arms and chest, how it had banded his forehead, blending with the gold of his hair until he'd looked clothed in light. How thoroughly Kaiba had failed to capture any of that in the avatar he'd created. How uncapturable it all was.

What he should do, Kaiba thought, was delete that damn avatar of Atem. It was all wrong anyway. He swept out, trench coat flying, not bothering to slam the door. Someone would come in, clean up and replace anything broken.

He strode down the hallway as if he had a destination in mind. It wasn't until he would up in the now deserted and off-limits lab next to his private holographic dueling arena that he realized he'd had this end point in mind the whole time.

He sat down, convinced he was going to hit delete and end this once and for all. He found himself changing details instead, the keyboard clicking in time with his thoughts: base skin tone darker and warmer, #C19B54 instead of #E1BE9E… golden streaks slightly brighter at #F4D03F, adjustments to duplicate the texture of molten metal... base eye color lighter and slightly more red, #D3559E instead of #874B81. He thought of how Atem's eyes changed with the lighting, how they brightened or darkened with each flashing mood.

It was quiet in the lab, except for the soft click of his keyboard. He could almost hear the hum of his thoughts as he tried to capture and code each random and fleeting memory, no longer caring if it was from his duel or his dreams.

Finally, he stood up and stretched, then exited the computer lab. He glanced at the door next to the lab. He hesitated, then walked into the dueling area. The cathedral walls appeared on schedule. Kaiba stared at the illusion of stained-glass light patterning the floor. His updated Atem would be here any moment. It would be so easy to just stand still, to let it happen, to view his handiwork, to see if he could fool himself into believing it was real, as real as his dream. He frowned and strode away. The problem wasn't with his dreams… it was waking up that was the bitch.

Atem walked back to the river at sunset. He sat down at the water's edge and cupped the Puzzle in his hands, using it to focus. The Puzzle was the key. He was sure of it. It was how he had rushed to Yugi's side in his duel with Diva, dashing across dimensions to save the world one final time. Now it was time to see if he could use it for himself.

Atem breathed in and out, listening to the breeze rustle through the reeds, hearing the river's answering chimes. He closed his eyes. Atem was used to meditating. He sought the home Kaiba had half-built for them, searching for the place where he hoped their paths would once again cross.

The quiet sounds of paradise faded away; the air stilled. Atem opened his eyes. He was on Kaiba's space station. The room was dark and quiet. Yami walked up to the windows. The stars were right outside; it was the view from their dream. He walked through the linked rooms, his heels echoing in the empty space. One room held a VR pod, another some sort of glass chamber. The computer screens were blank. He could almost hear the echo of Kaiba's heels as he paced the floor.

Atem waited, but no rival appeared to join him.

Atem walked back to stand at the windows again. "So much for a shared place," he murmured. He leaned forward, touching his forehead to the smooth glass of the windows. Atem closed his eyes, blotting out the stars.

And in the silence, he could feel Kaiba's presence, could sense the connection between them. It ran through this station… but it led to Earth. Atem closed his eyes and saw a room, saw flashing lights on the floor, saw Kaiba standing with his dragons behind him, waiting for Atem's next move.

Atem frowned in thought. When they had dueled, Kaiba had said that he'd tried his final combo before, that he was sure that Atem would be able to answer it. The strangeness of Kaiba's remark had gone almost unnoticed at the time.

But Atem could play back every one of their duels from memory, did so more often than he liked to admit, like a familiar cartoon played over and over to soothe a sick child or to lull a tired one to sleep. And Kaiba had never played that combo before.

Atem laughed. Kaiba would have thrown himself body and soul into preparing for the duel. He always did. Kaiba was designing a virtual reality system. He always was.

If there was a place where Kaiba had poured enough of himself to create a shared place, it wouldn't be in space. It would be in a computer lab somewhere in Domino. Atem sank to the floor. He bowed his head and grasped his Puzzle, taking up his search once more, straining to find the lines connecting them and follow them home.

Atem landed with a thud. He opened his eyes just in time to see the door in front of him whoosh to a close. He frowned. Had he caught a glimpse of a flaring white coat? He darted forwards then stopped short, remembering Horakhty's warning. This was a pocket in time and space, not a doorway. He'd come farther than he could have imagined. He was wary of pressing for more, so soon. Atem looked around. He was in a long, very modern room. He looked down at the tiles at his feet, at the blue neon lights that ran along the walls. He could almost feel Kaiba's presence in the hushed room. "I'm waiting." Atem smiled. "It's time to duel," he said softly.

Instantly the lights went out. He blinked in the darkness then opened his eyes in shock as stone walls and stained glass windows flowed down from the ceiling. The neon blue lights were replaced by a prism of colors as sun streamed in through the jewel-toned windows.

He gazed down the length of the cathedral, towards the altar. The kaleidoscope of colors seemed to shift, to brighten. They streamed upwards and then down again, turning into a column of liquid gold. As Atem watched, the swirling shades solidified; he could make out a human form in the center, bathed in fire and light. Atem's eyes widened further as golden sparks transformed into stalks of hair as blindingly bright as the flames they'd replaced swayed in an imaginary breeze, as the skin tones of the figure before him warmed to match his own. A holographic duplicate stepped forwards with the slap of sandals on stone. There was something unbearably intimate about seeing Kaiba's vision of him, about looking into those red-violet eyes. Atem looked away and then back again, unable to resist drinking in every detail.

"Oh, Kaiba… it was easier when we could pretend that all we wanted was a duel…" he whispered.

The other Atem, the one that Atem had to remind himself wasn't real, flashed a grin. "Do you really think so?" he asked.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** To misquote political thrillers, it's hard to tell what Kaiba knew about the Ceremonial Duel and when he knew it. He doesn't seem to have accurate details in "The Dark Side of Dimensions." My own personal theory is that he only found out about the duel after Atem had left. How Kaiba reacted and why Atem left without saying goodbye are questions that run through the entire story.

One thing I really loved about the subtitled version of "The Dark Side of Dimensions" is that Kaiba's and Yugi's very different methods of expressing grief are both treated respectfully. But one thing that struck me as sad was that in comes out that Yugi hasn't talked about Atem, even to his closest friends. I could see Yugi avoiding talking for a variety of reasons. Since his friends are grieving as well, he wouldn't want to, as I think he would see it, burden them with his feelings; he'd want to be considerate and supportive of theirs, instead. I also think that he might have so many emotions about that day – including that he got a chance to fully and independently live his life – that avoiding thinking might be easier than untangling his emotions. But I could also see where Yugi might also find Kaiba's much louder and more dramatic way of showing grief oddly comforting; I think he'd like to know that Atem was mourned.

 **Kaiba Graduation Note:** It's hard to tell whether Kaiba ever went back to school after the first penalty game. We see Kaiba at Domino High early in the manga. A little later, Yugi says that Kaiba hadn't been back since the first penalty game he played with Atem. Still later, Kaiba refers to Yugi as a classmate when talking to Isis, but we don't see him in the limited number of times we see the gang at school in the manga or in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and he's not at the graduation ceremony. I like the idea that he never went back to Domino High, possibly because he looked on it as the site of his defeat or simply because he was too busy or because he made other arrangements to get the credential, assuming he felt he needed it.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _Note to RedSchmetterling:_ Thank you so much! I try to tell stories where half the story is what's actually going on and the other half is what the characters are thinking and feeling – which might or might not align with what's happening. I'm glad you like my stories!

 _To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	6. All Roads

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," Shadi recues (or collects) a group of orphans. To be honest, I'm not sure how detailed his original plan was, but he was very concerned with insuring that the pharaoh went to and remained in the afterlife. The children, led by Diva, were collectively called the Plana.

 **DUEL LINKS NOTE:** Kaiba was working on some kind of game where duelists can be connected in some unspecified, possibly telepathic way in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and in the manga chapters, "Transcend Game" that preceded the movie. I decided to borrow the name "Duel Links" from the actual game for the story, because it seems to fit his project and because using the name of the actual game makes me happy.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6: ALL ROADS**

BARGAINING: Throughout the 1920s, New York Sun readers woke up to the exploits of Archy and Mehitabel. Archy was a free-verse poet, whose soul had been reincarnated into the body of a cockroach. Determined to let nothing, including a little body swapping, get in the way of his art, Archy typed out his poems by jumping head-first onto the keys of New York Sun columnist Don Marquis' manual typewriter – occasionally pausing to dive into the gears to hide from his apex predator and best friend, Mehitabel. Not one to be outdone in the reincarnation department, instead of being an ordinary alley cat, Mehitabel (according to her), was the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I guess all roads really do lead back to Ancient Egypt.

 _MORAL: Archy loudly proclaims, "Expression is the need of my soul!" But based on his actions, it seems likely that friendship was just as important._

* * *

Shadi opened his eyes. He was back in the underground room where he'd raised the children who had become the Plana. He walked up to the carving that had held the Millennium Items. It was back in place as if time had rewound itself. Only one thing had changed: the Millennium Items were gone.

Shadi sank to his knees with a low keening cry. He dropped his head in his hands. They had still been in the middle of a war when the pharaoh had sealed himself in the Puzzle. At first, Shadi had clung to the hope of an afterlife… of a joyous reunion with his comrades. Then, millennia had passed, leaving him marooned in time. One by one his memories, still painful in their fading clarity, had flickered and gone out, until only scattered names and images remained.

Shadi had learned to crave the sweet embrace of forgetfulness, to long for the day when his time on this earth was finally done, when his mission was complete, when the pharaoh was at rest. And then the pharaoh had been reborn, had fought a duel, had triumphed. The last thing Shadi remembered was the blessed call of oblivion as the pharaoh walked through the door to the Netherworld.

Now, even that had been denied him.

Shadi stretched until he was lying prone on the cold floor. As he prayed, an awareness of all that had happened filtered through his senses, became part of his memory. Shadi drew in a breath, eyes still closed. Shadi had taken his own precautions against the pharaoh's return, had placed his faith in a band of children. But he wasn't surprised that Diva had fallen victim to his own fears; Shadi had been taken too soon, Diva had been left alone too long. The fault was his, not his disciple's.

As for the rest…

Fire raced through his blood, bringing him to furious life. He had devoted himself, even beyond his death, to honoring fate's rules. And they had just been broken.

By Seto Kaiba meddling with things he didn't understand, unearthing the items from what should have been their unmarked tomb.

By the pharaoh never being able to stay dead. It was one thing when he'd returned, still tied to the Puzzle, still an instrument of destiny, fated to save the world one final time. It was another now that he was the master of the Puzzle, now that he'd crossed time and space to serve his own desires rather than fate's demands.

The pharaoh had been granted the gift Shadi had given up hope of receiving – a chance for eternal life in paradise – and it wasn't enough for him. Not content with parading his ingratitude before two worlds, he was still tying Shadi to his restlessness, to his refusal to remain at peace. The pharaoh's betrayal was devastating in its suddenness, a sucker punch that had shocked him awake.

Shadi stood up. The time for prayer and meditation had passed.

He knew where to go next. He knew where the other items were. Shadi smiled grimly. Once again, they'd be pressed into service. As he'd taught Diva, what humans call reality was formed by the weaving together of each person's memories. Seto Kaiba had harnessed that power to fuel his journey to the pharaoh. The pharaoh had followed those memories back as if they were an invisible string that connected him to the world he'd renounced. But strings could be cut, and memories, as Diva had shown, could vanish. Then all would be well. It was fitting that it was up to Shadi to put things right.

Isis sat up in bed with a gasp. She looked around but the room was still dark. She reached for her phone and glanced at the time; the night was almost over. For a moment, when she'd first awakened, she'd felt the weight of the Millennium Necklace resting on her collarbones. Shadi had once told her that the Millennium Items were cursed. She'd come to agree. But the curse wasn't in the blessings it gave: certainty and the serenity that certainty brings. The curse lay in their loss, in this formless world she now wandered through. And with the return of the pharaoh to his tomb, she no longer had even her duty to guide her.

Isis stroked her neck, confirming the necklace's absence. But she could still feel it, as if it was a phantom limb, a part of her that ached even after amputation. She frowned and got out of bed. That part of her life was over.

The living room was empty, but the door to the balcony beyond was open. Her brother was awake, then. She felt an impulse to dart back into her room before he noticed her, but he probably already had… and she needed to know if he had felt the same sense of unease, of foreboding… the same mix of power and anger and unfulfilled purpose that came when the Millennium Items called.

She walked onto the balcony. Her brother was staring out at the city or the sky. Rishid was by his side, too large and solid to be a shadow, too quiet to be anything else.

There'd been a brief period after Alcatraz and before the Ceremonial Duel when it had seemed like anything was possible, when it had seemed like they could all go home and be a family again, when it had seemed like the past could vanish. Then the pharaoh had departed for the Netherworld. Malik had headed out with Rishid the next morning, leaving Isis alone in the apartment she'd rented for the three of them. She'd kept the apartment, telling herself that this way Malik had a place to come back to. It had turned out that hope was as effective as her necklace at predicting the future. Malik and Rishid had returned periodically throughout the year, although she could no longer pretend that her apartment was their home.

Isis smiled at her brother as she joined him at the balcony railing. "Since we're all up, come inside. I'll make tea," she offered.

"I like the outdoors," Malik replied.

"Tea on the balcony it is," Isis said.

She returned a few minutes later with a tray. Malik and Rishid were sitting at the small table. Isis smiled as she handed Malik a teacup. He handed it to Rishid. She inclined her head and poured another. "Have I said again how happy I am to see you?"

"I hate it here," he muttered.

"It's your home."

"That's why I hate it. I feel like I'm suffocating, no matter how many windows I open."

"Brother…" Isis said.

"You have two brothers."

"Malik, please… don't fight with your sister," Rishid said. It was the first time he'd spoken.

"You mean _our_ sister," Malik responded.

Rishid nodded and looked down, silently accepting the correction.

"Yes, of course," Isis said. "I have two brothers." She put her hand on top of Rishid's. He looked at her. She smiled. Rishid had more than earned the right to be called "brother." And to see him hunched in his chair, trying to will himself into invisibility as if he had no right to take up space, hurt, when he'd been their rock, solid and immovable for so long. That she still heard her father's voice booming in her head, saying that he would never be family, was her problem to deal with, not his. "I'm sorry, brother."

"Why are you awake? You usually sleep as if dead," Malik said, eyes narrowed and fixed on her face.

Isis pressed her lips together, holding in a sigh. She had wanted to avoid this conversation, had hoped that Malik had slept through the night, undisturbed. But Malik was asking for her honesty… and her trust. "Did you feel the call of the Millennium Items?" she asked him.

"If I had, I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep."

Isis frowned. "The items are part of our family's history."

"And what is that history, but one of fear, isolation, brutality and…" he glanced at Rishid, "...and slavery? Those things are not good because there are traditional. Some traditions deserve to die."

"Was your way better?" Isis asked, one eyebrow delicately raised.

"No," Malik muttered. "I'm not sure it was worse, though."

"We survived. We're here," Rishid pointed out quietly.

Isis poured more tea. They settled into a surprisingly companionable silence as they watched the dawn together. They'd never done this before, Isis realized. It would be nice to do it again. Maybe, with time and luck, they could establish some new traditions.

A dimension away, Atem sat by the river, gazing at the newly risen sun. It glittered along the water's surface, breaking it into patches of light that jumped and changed color with each ripple. It reminded Atem of the shifting stream of light that had tinted the stone floor of Kaiba's holographic cathedral. Atem sighed. He'd come so far only to miss seeing Kaiba once again. He stretched and got up, unfolding himself with a single, graceful movement. He walked along the riverbank for a few minutes then turned to follow a path leading to higher ground.

Atem could have brought his restlessness to a goddess or a friend. Instead he found himself going in search of a dragon. Kisara was on the outskirts of the town, lazing in the sun on a stone outcropping overlooking the river. She glanced up at his approach.

"I should have known that Kaiba would find a way to get here," Atem said as he sat next to her, shaded by her great bulk.

'He almost died. You shouldn't encourage his recklessness," Kisara said sternly.

"He's never needed my – or anyone else's – encouragement." Atem shook his head. "I expected to see my high priest here when I arrived."

"Seto was determined to guide you here, no matter how slight the chance that he could help, no matter the cost. He was as unstoppable as always."

"He still is," Atem answered. "And even more unreasonable and stubborn than his former incarnation... if such a thing is possible."

"Seto Kaiba is not your old friend," Kisara warned. "Kaiba is younger. Or perhaps it is that I have grown older." She sighed. "Your High Priest understood what he was giving up when he was reborn as Kaiba. Only traces remain in his reincarnation, like an afterimage that lingers when you close your eyes."

"I know. I feel the difference between them even as I'm reminded of all they share." Atem paused, then asked quietly, "Do you miss him?"

"I wonder sometimes, how truly any of us see each other," Kisara said, speaking as much to herself as to Atem. "Did your High Priest see a girl with her own dreams or was he blinded by the light and power of a dragon? Did I see a man with his own strengths and weaknesses, a man I wanted to help, or did I look at him and see only savior?" She gazed at the river for a moment. "I miss what might have been. I would have liked to have been in love, I think. I would have liked to have had a family." For an instant, as he looked at her, Atem could see the girl shining through the dragon. "In another world, we could have been happy. Some days, that is a comforting thought."

"I'm sorry," Atem said quietly.

"I sorrow, too." Kisara raised her head and chuckled, the sound as soft as tiny bells tinkling with the breeze. "We have that in common."

Atem nodded. "It's strange to think that if I had lived…" He paused, smiled and then said, "I would have had a life."

They sat for a moment in silence.

"I shared a dream with Seto Kaiba," Atem said, suddenly.

"I have often tried to invade his dreams, and sometimes to guard him from them."

"He didn't understand that I was really there. He kept repeating that it was just a dream."

Atem sighed. "When Kaiba came here… he came for me. Not because he owed me or because I'm the pharaoh or because of past lives or destiny. Just for me." Atem shook his head. "I had nothing to offer Kaiba; I didn't even say good-bye before I left. And yet he risked his life to see me. I don't know what to do with that gift. Except, I'd like to return it in kind. But first he has to believe."

"There's much he doesn't understand."

"But I want him to see me, to know that I'm real!"

"So many things pass us by in life. Why should our dreams to be any different?" She grinned, a touch of malice in the expression. "But then, I'm a dragon, not a pharaoh. I have no practice in expecting reality to bend to my wishes."

Atem returned to his valley in the afternoon. He went in to meet with his councilors, then walked with Mahaad through the fields outside the palace. They ended up sitting on the same stone outcropping he'd shared with Kisara.

Mahaad sighed in contentment. "I like coming here at the end of the day."

Atem stared at the river and then at the fields on the other side, at the farmers in the background wielding their scythes. He had lived an ordinary life with Yugi. He couldn't help but see his friends in that anonymous line. He turned to Mahaad and nodded towards the farmers. "Do you think this is a paradise for them as well?"

Mahaad turned to him; his mouth dropped slightly open. He glanced back at the field. "There is no blemish in this world, in man or beast… no sickness, no injury. There is only the caress of the sun, the flex of muscles and at the end of each day, the warmth of home and hearth."

"But it's always the same day," Atem said.

Mahaad smiled. "Of course. That's what makes this a paradise."

The breeze ruffled their robes. Atem tilted his head to feel the last rays of the sun on his face, trying to capture some of Mahaad's serenity. "I saw Kisara today," he said abruptly.

Mahaad nodded. "We owe her much. I would have built her a mansion, second only to your palace. She said that she preferred the skies."

Atem smiled. "I think Kaiba would agree."

"He didn't come for her."

Atem smiled again. "No."

"I had hoped that Seto's visit to our world would bring you peace," Mahaad said.

Atem chuckled. "So did I."

They sat for a moment in silence.

"You were very young when the war broke across all out lives… when it ended them," Mahaad said quietly.

"So were you," Atem answered, realizing it for the first time.

"Yes." Mahaad smiled. "But I was born with an old man's desire for peace and prosperity. From the time I was old enough to form a vision of paradise, this has been it."

Atem shook his head; his lips twisted in a wry smile. "And I never desired anything beyond the strength to do my duty, to protect those under my care."

"A worthwhile goal," Mahaad noted.

He didn't add that Atem could have other goals as well. He would not have presumed so far. But in the silence that followed, Atem heard the words as clearly as if Mahaad had spoken them aloud.

"You are my pharaoh," Mahaad added. "But you've been right to correct me every time that I've tried to limit you to that title. You are my prince. That will never change. But you're also my friend." He stood up, briefly touched Atem's shoulder, then walked back to the palace.

Atem stared at the river until it was time to try and reach Kaiba once again.

Kaiba paced his office. Just when he'd started looking forward to sleeping, the nightmares had returned. Not the usual ones… of Gozaburo, of being torn apart by his monsters, of the red mist that filled his sight as vision faded, of sentencing his brother to death, of Mokuba's pleading face. Those familiar nightmares had been left behind in the wreckage of Alcatraz.

They'd been replaced by dreams where he spent the night searching for Atem without finding him. It seemed fitting that once he'd finally given in to dreaming of Atem, Atem had disappeared.

He sat down and reviewed his project, his breathing calming as he scanned the schematics. Kaiba looked up with a start as Mokuba entered the room. Kaiba stood up and said, "C'mon, I have something I want to show you."

"What?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba grinned. "It's a surprise."

"Well… duh… that's why I'm asking."

Kaiba's grin widened. He walked past Mokuba and out the door. Mokuba followed him to the computer labs, taking a hopping step every few paces in order to keep up with his brother's longer legs.

They ended up in the holographic studio next to the dueling arena. Both rooms had off limits signs on the door. A biometric scan had been set at eye level for Mokuba. Mokuba walked up to it and entered as the doors opened.

The room was empty. Mokuba looked up at his brother.

"When Duel Links goes live, anyone will be able to duel anytime, anywhere. Geography, barriers, they'll all disappear," Kaiba boasted.

Mokuba nodded.

"Then it occurred to me – we'll still need someone to enforce rules and explain how it works, in-game." Kaiba grinned again. "Like a Commissioner of Games." As he said the title, the lights went out. They came on a second later, revealing a perfect replica of Domino's main street.

As Mokuba watched, a life sized version of himself ran towards them blowing his whistle, long hair flying behind him.

"It's going to be embedded in the consciousness of everyone who uses the system," Kaiba said proudly.

"Nisama!" Mokuba said.

The fake Mokuba came to a stop in front of them. He planted his legs shoulder length apart, ran one finger under his nose and grinned at them.

Mokuba laughed. "You put me in your game? As the commissioner? That's great, Nisama!"

Kaiba's shoulders relaxed. Mokuba hadn't noticed how keyed up Kaiba had been until he saw that slight easing of his posture. "I love it!" Mokuba added. "What gave you the idea?"

Kaiba ran his hand through his hair, then shrugged. "It just didn't feel like a game without you running through it. You should be a part of it, so no one can play without you being there." Kaiba grunted. "And I wanted you to stop worrying. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Mokuba nodded. He looked at the avatar again. "Uh… Nisama… he's great. But why's he still in my old clothes? And his hair's so long. I'm not a kid anymore. Why did you make him so much younger than me?

Kaiba shifted his shoulders.

Mokuba wished his brother could just say, "I don't know," instead of shrugging and grunting while Mokuba pretended not to notice what wasn't being said.

Kaiba circled Mokuba's avatar. Mokuba held still in case Kaiba wanted to circle him as well. He wondered what his brother was seeing. Did he miss this younger version the same way Mokuba missed the brother from the orphanage?

Kaiba finished his survey and turned to Mokuba. He nodded. "You're right. He needs to be revised. Maybe we can set a schedule for updating him regularly as you get bigger yourself. What else do you want changed? I thought we could..." Kaiba shrugged again. "... talk about it."

Mokuba smiled shyly. "Talking sounds good."

Kaiba grunted.

Mokuba shook his head. His brother had apparently forgotten again that talking involved words.

Kaiba tapped the KC pin on his coat and spoke into it for a moment.

"Isono is outside," he told Mokuba. "He'll take you home."

Mokuba frowned. "I thought you were coming home with me."

Kaiba shook his head. "I have some things to finish up here. I'll be home before bedtime. I promise."

Mokuba scanned him again and nodded. He left the basement level and got into the front seat of their limousine next to Isono.

Isono glanced at him and waited. He was used to listening. The older Kaiba wanted a safe sounding board for his rapid thoughts and chaotic emotions. It had taken years for them to get to a place where Isono no longer feared that his hesitant replies would lead to immediate dismissal.

But Mokuba simply needed someone to talk to.

"Remember back at Battle City, Isis and Atem kept saying all that shit about my brother being a High Priest in Ancient Egypt?" Mokuba asked.

Isono nodded.

"You think that's what's going on here? You think that's why he went to find Atem?"

There must be jobs, Isono thought, where your teenaged employers didn't throw impossible questions at you on a regular basis, where you didn't feel helpless to protect them from everything that mattered, when all you could do was the one thing apparently no one else ever had – listen. Isono shook his head, dismissing all those other mythical jobs to focus on the one in front of him. "He came back," Isono said, aware of how inadequate the words were.

"Yeah, he did. But there's something going on with him and it's not our product list."

Isono thought back to the moment when they'd opened the lid on the pod after that first, failed attempt to reach the Netherworld. Kaiba had been exhausted. He'd climbed out of the pod and leaned on it for a moment, gasping for breath, before straightening up and saying, "I saw him. Connection… it's real. I was right. It encompasses everyone." Then Kaiba had smiled and the brilliance and intensity of his expression had chilled Isono to the core.

Isono glanced at Mokuba, sure that he was remembering that moment as well. "I don't think anything your brother designs is simply a product to him."

Mokuba smiled at that. "So, I should listen to his designs instead of waiting for words? He made an avatar of me. He wants me in Duel Links." Mokuba leaned back against the leather seat and closed his eyes.

Kaiba waited a moment to make sure Mokuba had left the floor. He walked next door to the dueling arena. He needed to know how good a job he'd done, how close he'd come to capturing the real Atem. He paused at the door. He'd once tried to imprison Atem in the Puzzle. Was this any different?

Kaiba squared his shoulders and entered the room. Atem was waiting. That hadn't happened before. Kaiba had always had to initiate a duel before his hologram appeared. Kaiba circled Atem slowly, then nodded. His updates had been successful. The dueling avatar was an exact match with the Atem he'd seen in the Netherworld. "I did a good job. You look like him now. I could duel you and fool myself that it's real." Kaiba scanned the room and frowned. "What happened to the background?"

Atem looked around. "The windows? I don't know. They were beautiful. Kaiba, what are you talking about?"

Kaiba's frown deepened. "Of course you don't know. You don't know anything I haven't programmed into you."

"Programmed?"

"You're a dueling avatar. Nothing more and don't forget it," Kaiba snapped.

"So, I'm just a target for you to aim at? After everything, you would deny our friendship?"

Kaiba smiled. "I did a good job. If I didn't know better, I'd believe in you myself."

"You do believe in me! You were the first person to believe in me! You believed I was a person before I did and you don't get to take that back, Seto Kaiba!"

"I can imagine Atem standing here saying that."

Atem walked over to Kaiba and waved his arms in front of his face. "That's because I _am_ here, you jackass!"

"I created you to test dueling strategies, but that was never the whole story was it? I never asked what a soul was until you left. I never asked if anything could survive death. Then you walked right out of this world and all I knew was that we had unfinished business and I wasn't being robbed again. I was ready to drag you back here and hold you prisoner."

Atem nodded. "I know." He paused then asked, "Why are you here?"

"I had a dream." Kaiba snapped his lips shut and circled Atem again. "I'm glad I updated your program. No one could mistake you for Yugi, now."

"When I went to the Netherworld… having a body that was solely and indisputably mine… it changes you. I understood what it meant to be a person. I'd forgotten."

Kaiba tilted his head to the side, considering Atem's answer. He circled Atem again.

"Stop circling me like a bird of prey – or a scavenger looking for his next meal."

"Your answers… I'm trying to decide if they're within parameters. I programmed you to adapt your responses, to create sentences based on Atem's personality. But some of your answers are… unexpected."

"Kaiba, get a clue!"

Kaiba smiled. "That's better."

Atem sighed. "Then why are you even bothering to talk to me?"

"Because I can. Because it's easier talking to myself when I'm looking at you."

Atem couldn't believe how angry he was… or how betrayed he felt. Kaiba had believed in him, had believed he was a person worthy of fighting with and against, worthy of screaming at and listening to, worthy of Kaiba's undivided and at times unnerving focus. Losing that, hurt. "I'm standing right here in front of you. I'm just as real as you are, you son of a bitch!"

Kaiba shook his head. "I can't keep fooling myself, no matter how much I want…"

"Go on, Kaiba. Please."

Kaiba shrugged. "If this really was you, we'd be dueling by now. We'd be falling back on trash talking because it's all we know how to do to each other."

"I loved dueling you," Atem said suddenly. "To duel someone is to know them."

Kaiba snorted. "I'm hardly your only opponent. You duel the cheer squad. You duel whatever megalomaniac has decided to take over the world this week. You've even dueled your partner, and I'm certainly not that."

"No. You're not my partner." Atem took a step forward, holding Kaiba's gaze with his own. "I've dueled many friends. I've faced many enemies. But I've only had one true rival. Only one person has been worthy of the title."

"The whole time you were alive… I should have… I didn't know..." Kaiba whispered.

"What?" Atem asked.

"Anything."

"Neither did I. It took leaving this world to show me how much leaving…" Atem took in a breath and then said as he exhaled, "how much leaving you hurt. I wanted to bridge that gap in time and space, just as you did."

"How can I believe that? You're saying something I didn't realize I wanted to hear until the words came out of your mouth as perfectly as if I'd programmed them myself."

Atem closed the distance between them, reached up and touched his lips to Kaiba's. He held Kaiba's head in place. He moved his lips over Kaiba's, coaxing his rival's mouth open. Atem's tongue explored Kaiba's mouth, slowly, almost reverently. Atem's hands dropped to Kaiba's shoulders, keeping the pressure on Kaiba's lips. Kaiba moaned, deep in his throat. As if the sound had released him from his own immobility, he jumped back.

"Could a hologram have done that?" Atem asked, his voice a perfect blend of challenge and desire.

Kaiba smirked. "It's called 'Solid Vision' for a reason."

"Kaiba! You managed to find a way to barge into my home. Is it so hard to believe I'd do the same to you?

"Yes." Kaiba's lips dragged downwards. He drew in a breath. "I want you to want me… to miss me so badly that you'd cross time and space to find me again. And that's how I know you're not real. The real Atem would come for Yugi. He would never come for me." Kaiba's lips twisted again. "And that's checkmate, Atem."

Atem watched as Kaiba's eyes iced over, like a river freezing in winter until only patches of sluggish blue life remained. Before Atem could react, Kaiba whirled from the room and was gone. Atem stared at the cold and empty walls, feeling like Kaiba had just handed him his second defeat.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and reminding me that transitions between scenes are a good thing! (I forget that a lot.)**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I'd really like to picture a happy, almost idyllic future for the Ishtar's, possibly involving umbrella drinks and lots of beach time. (Okay, this might be my picture of an idyllic future, but I'm happy to share it with them.) I'd like to picture them hanging out without a care in the world, but to be honest, I can never manage to make myself believe it. They can't go _back_ to being a carefree bunch of siblings who never had an uncomplicated emotion between the three of them, because they never were carefree or uncomplicated to begin with. In a way, they're a parallel to the Kaiba brothers, and getting to put two sets of dysfunctional siblings with massive communication issues next to each other in the chapter is one of the perks of writing fanfiction!

 **Shadi Note:** I admit that Shadi is my go-to catalyst for shaking up the plot, but in all fairness, that's kind of his role in Yu-Gi-Oh! as well.

 _NOTE TO ANON:_ Thank you so much! I have a real soft spot for Giving Up the Ghosts because I really wanted to write something that gave form to the challenges the characters were facing, and I wanted to design a virtual world/virtual game that really felt like Kaiba had designed it and poured a lot of himself into it. I loved how open ended the movie was, but it also felt like an invitation for all of us to imagine what happened next, something I couldn't resist.

This story is the result. I hope you enjoy it.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.**_


	7. Fine and Private Places

**CHAPTER 7: FINE AND PRIVATE PLACES**

" _The grave's a fine and private place. But none, I think, do there embrace."_ _~ Poet Andrew Marvell_

Peter S. Beagle set out to prove him wrong, not only by setting his novel, "A Fine and Private Place" in a Bronx cemetery, but also by providing two sets of courting couples. The older pair is nearing the end of their lives; the younger would-be lovers have already crossed that line. (Did I mention that it's a ghost story as well as a romance?) Rounding out the quintet is an extremely chatty and often snarky raven who provides (or steals) food for the living and newspapers for the dead as they try to sort out the meaning of life and death from both sides of the grave.

The raven, of course, is less than impressed by their musings. His own metaphor for life is a story about a seagull that he met when he was lost in Iowa. As the raven explains, "The poor sonofabitch was looking for the ocean. And every time he saw water, he thought that was the ocean. He didn't know anything about ponds or lakes or anything. All the water he ever saw was the ocean. He thought that was all the water there was."

When one of the ghosts chides him for not being more helpful, the raven simply looks at her and says, "I was lost too."

 _MORAL: Confusion isn't one of the official stages of grief, but maybe it should be._

* * *

Shadi uttered a brief prayer before entering the tomb. He winced at the thought of how this sacred space had been desecrated, first by Seto Kaiba's invasion, and then by the pharaoh's return, when the Ceremonial Duel should have sealed him in the afterlife for all eternity.

Shadi walked down the narrow stone staircase, his steps swifter now that he was surrounded by the tomb's cool darkness. He waited until he'd reached the excavation level to light his torch. He could see a glimmer where the point of the Millennium Scales peeked above the earthen floor; he could sense the remaining items sleeping under their thin blanket of dirt.

Shadi snorted, but his exasperation was softened by a barely remembered fondness. It was just like Seto to simply leave everything where it lay once he'd gotten what he wanted. Seto Kaiba's earlier incarnation had been just as single-minded, just as stubborn, just as short-sighted. And Shadi had been his accomplice.

Now, they were on opposite sides. Shadi sighed and got to work freeing the items from their shallow grave. He stored them carefully in his satchel. As he was slotting the last item into place, he heard footsteps on the stone floor outside.

He turned and caught a glimpse of long dark hair, of a long white dress. Shadi smiled at Isis' approach. It was pleasant to look on his old comrade; he could almost feel the centuries fall away. He could almost remember what it was like to have a friend.

"I knew you would be the first to find me," he said.

"I sensed a presence here," Isis answered. Her lips twisted into a wry smile. "It seems that even without a Millennium Item, I can still hear its call."

"You have always been among the strongest – and the best – of us."

Isis knew that Shadi was speaking of an ancestor, long dead. She found it comforting that her line had run true.

"Dedication is a treasure beyond compare. To keep faith throughout the years…" Shadi said.

Isis thought of Malik. He would not agree. "What of freedom?" she asked.

"How can one be free of destiny? And if a path is fated, what does it say for those that turn aside when the road darkens?"

"As my brother did?"

"As you did not. Where would the world be now, if you hadn't proved steadfast?"

Isis looked down. She could no longer believe that it was that simple. She had been unfettered long enough to recognize the unseen chains she'd once worn, the ones that had tied her to her people and her duty. But neither could she speak of freedom as easily as Malik nor see it as an oasis. She'd learned that guilt was the price of freedom. For if she had been free all those years ago, then it followed that she had freely chosen to embrace her father's cruelty, chosen to stand by as he'd carved up her brother's back, as he'd threatened to kill Rishid... chosen to regard Rishid and even Malik as sacrifices to her clan's mission. But it had not felt like a choice, then. It still did not feel like a choice today.

"You walked your path to its end. As your ancestor did," Shadi said.

Isis swallowed, hearing her father's raised voice, hearing her mother's as she pleaded for Rishid's life. "I am glad our sacrifices weren't in vain," Isis said.

Shadi sighed. "Would that were true."

Isis flinched. She'd forgotten how Shadi's disappointment had echoed her father's, in the instant before her father's had turned to rage. "What's happened?" Isis asked, stepping closer.

"You must have heard of the events of the spring?"

"People disappearing? Yes." Isis folded her arms across her chest.

"And you didn't wonder?"

"Wonder? Of course. But our task was done." Isis lifted her chin. "I saw no need to reopen old wounds."

"The pharaoh has crossed dimensions."

"Atem is here? What new danger has been found?"

"None," Shadi said harshly.

"I don't understand. I saw him leave. Once he was assured of his partner's future, he was ready to carry out his final duty." Like her, the pharaoh had understood obligation, had understood how need outweighed desire.

"The pharaoh is being drawn here by the memories of those who refuse to let him go. He must be freed."

"How?"

"By releasing those memories. Only then can he be at peace." Only then, Shadi thought, would the pharaoh see his duty clearly.

"My family lived and died so that the pharaoh could cross the threshold to the Netherworld. So that he could go to the rest that he had earned." The blood left her face as she wondered what this meant for Malik. She forced her mouth to say the words, "My brother…"

"Is not a part of this."

Isis sighed. "Thank you."

"The pharaoh will remember his destiny as the world forgets him. I will take care of it. Your brother will be safe."

"I pray you are right." Isis bit her lip. Once she would not have had to pray. Once she would have _known_.

Shadi watched as her expression became sadder, as her shoulders hunched in fear of an unexpected blow. He looked at the satchel holding the Items. The Puzzle and Ring were gone. He needed the Key and the Scales… and possibly the Rod. He had not seen a use for the other two, until now. Shadi smiled. He could take at least one burden from Isis. He could lift the weight of doubt.

He held out the Millennium Necklace. "This truly belongs to you. In you, I see my old friend reborn."

Isis remembered putting the Millennium Necklace on for the first time. Her brother had just run out of the door. Rishid had followed, promising to look after him, to guard Malik from himself, if necessary. Her father lay on the floor. In another moment, she would have to gather her clan and prepare for a burial, a task left to her as the eldest daughter. She remembered running her hand along the Necklace's smooth surface before she'd fastened it around her neck, hoping for something, anything, to tell her what to do next.

"May I?" Shadi asked.

She nodded and bent her head. The Millennium Necklace was as heavy as she remembered, but a sense of certainty had not returned with its weight.

"Don't be afraid," Shadi said. "Certainty will return. Until it does, lean on mine."

Isis inclined her head gracefully and left the tomb, neither looking back nor pausing on the long journey home until she'd reached her apartment once more. She hesitated at her doorway. Once she would have accepted Shadi's gift without question. Now she wanted to think. She took off the Millennium Necklace and stowed it in her bag, wondering if she still needed its weight or if her shoulders had grown strong enough to hold only the air.

Jounouchi had started stopping by the game shop before work whenever he could. Even if it was just for a few minutes, it made him feel better to check in with Yugi; it was a reminder that friends couldn't just lose each other. He thought of Diva, of the streets of Domino vanishing as he forgot and was forgotten, and shuddered.

"Hi, Jounouchi!" Yugi said when he walked in. "Perfect timing! I was just about to leave to go meet Bakura on campus. We're going to hang out for a few before class. You want to come along?"

"Can't. Work. I'll walk over with you though."

Jounouchi waited while Sugoroku came to the cash register. Yugi said his goodbyes and they left together. They'd walked a couple of blocks in silence when Jounouchi said, "You see a lot of him."

"Who? Bakura? Yeah, it's great having a friend at college. I mean everyone is so nice, it's not like starting high school was."

Jounouchi flushed at the unintentional reminder that he was part of the reason those early days had been so rough.

"Seeing Bakura…. it's like being with the gang, at least a little," Yugi continued.

"I'm so busy at work we hardly ever see each other. It's different for Anzu, she's all the way in America, but we're in the same city where we've always lived."

"I miss you too. How's everything going?" Yugi asked, as if he hadn't seen Jounouchi earlier that week.

Jounouchi shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, I guess. I mean the job's not bad. The pay's decent. And at least it's useful, you know? I mean, a hospital's gotta be clean, right? Can't have sick people getting even sicker. My boss is even putting me up for training in maintenance. It'd mean more money. It's just…" Jounouchi paused, then burst out, "I want to be a duelist. It's not a stupid idea. Other people make a living dueling. Bandit Keith, even, until he ran into Pegasus. I'm good enough. I was a finalist at Battle City."

"You're a great duelist!" Yugi said.

"It's my dream." Jounouchi shrugged. "But it's like there's a secret code book for how to make it work and everyone has a copy but me."

Yugi pursed his lips together and squinted as if narrowing his eyes would help him find a way to help. Kaiba's name came to mind, but Yugi knew Jounouchi would reject it immediately. He wondered whether to suggest Mokuba instead. The younger Kaiba had made Yugi's head spin talking about branding and clothes and image, but maybe that was what Jounouchi needed. But it was hard to imagine Mokuba going behind Kaiba's back or Kaiba agreeing if Mokuba took the direct route. Yugi thought back to Duelists Kingdom and Battle City, skipping past memories of Atem with practiced ease, when another Duelist came into mind, blond, confident, ready to be their friend…

"Mai!" Yugi exclaimed. "She's a professional duelist!"

"Yeah, I know. She makes a pretty good living at it, too. She even has that fashion show, ' _Dueling with Style!_ '" Jounouchi laughed. "I'm so desperate it'd try it, but I don't look as good in a mini-skirt."

"I'm sure she'd help you!" Yugi said.

"What?"

"You said it yourself, she knows how to get sponsors and stuff." Yugi paused. "I haven't seen her since Battle City. I guess we kind of lost touch."

"Yeah. What am I supposed to do? I can't call or text her out of the blue – even if I had her number, which I don't – and beg for help when I never bothered to say 'Hi' or anything else for ages!"

"You tried to rescue her at Battle City," Yugi reminded him.

"Fat lot of good that did. We both ended up in a coma."

"We're all friends," Yugi insisted. "She'd be glad to do it. I know she would."

Jounouchi shook his head. It had never been that simple, at least not for him. He'd felt so close to Mai at Battle City, like it was an honor to risk his life for someone so awesome. They'd promised to keep in touch. But then he'd gone back to high school with Yugi, Mai had drifted back to the professional dueling circuit, and "See you soon!" had turned into "never" without his realizing it.

Besides, Mai was hot. Jounouchi thought about her a lot, but she was a friend and he couldn't talk about her like a guy talks about a girl, not even to Honda, because the last thing he needed was for Honda to join in. And by the time he'd decided that he should say something – at least ask how she was after the whole Malik thing – so much time had passed that it was impossible to say anything at all. He figured they'd run into each other at a tournament or something, but they never had.

"If she wanted to talk so badly, _she_ should have been the one to call!" Jounouchi burst out.

"Huh?" Yugi said, his mouth slightly open.

"Well, she could have. It didn't have to be all on me."

"Uh… o-kay," Yugi said.

Jounouchi flushed. "Yeah, you're right. I could have called too. I know we're friends and nothing can change that. But shouldn't friends talk more than never?"

"Anzu keeps up with her," Yugi offered. "She's told Mai know how everyone's doing. I don't think Mai's mad or anything. And it's never too late to catch up with an old friend, is it?"

"And I did try to rescue her. That should count for something." Jounouchi grinned. "It's lucky Anzu stayed in touch."

Yugi smiled proudly. "Yeah. Anzu's good at that. And she said she wasn't going to let one of the few girls she actually liked ghost her."

Jounouchi shivered. "That freak, Diva, he said the world was held together by our memories. It was the only thing that kept me alive long enough for Atem to find me. Anzu's right. I'm not having anyone else disappear. Not on my watch." He groaned as they reached the campus. "And that's my cue to vanish myself, right into my job."

"Only until I see you tomorrow," Yugi reminded him as they said good-bye.

Ryou was waiting when Yugi walked through the door to the student lounge. They got a couple of cans from a vending machine and sat down.

They chatted about their classes for a while and their fellow students, and then the conversation drifted, as it often did, to the ways their lives had changed.

Yugi stared at his drink and frowned. "Jounouchi told me back with Diva that he was riding through town and pieces of it kept disappearing. He couldn't hold them in his head. Sometimes I'm afraid it's going to be like that with me and Atem. That I'll forget."

"I have so many gaps in my memory already, forgetting some more shouldn't be hard," Bakura joked.

Yugi smiled dutifully.

Bakura put his hand on Yugi's arm. "But…" he said. Inviting Yugi to ignore his interruption.

Yugi exhaled so sharply it ruffled the golden stalks of hair hanging in front of his face. "But I don't want to forget him, not ever. I just don't want it to hurt to remember." He paused. "I'm sorry… I know it was different…"

"It's okay," Bakura interrupted. "Your experience wasn't mine. You don't have to pretend it was or avoid talking about Atem because you're afraid it'll remind me of everything I didn't have."

Yugi nodded. He started to apologize for apologizing, then caught himself in time.

Bakura shrugged. "Sometimes I think he wasn't all bad, then I wonder if he was just that good at manipulating me, that even after everything I want to make excuses for him. Maybe one day, I'll be able to talk about him. Or forget he ever existed. I'm not sure which I want more."

"You could try both."

Bakura smiled. "Maybe I will… someday."

They finished their drinks in silence and headed for class.

Kaiba stood outside of the door to his holographic dueling arena and frowned. He'd planned to go home with Mokuba, but at the last minute he'd sent his brother off with Isono instead. Kaiba glared at the door. He was never irresolute. He'd said everything he needed to say to Atem the last time he was here, even if he'd said it to a hologram. Yet, here he was, back again, craving Atem, any Atem, even one of his own creation. Kaiba shifted his weight as if he was about to turn and leave, although his feet remained planted. He drew in a breath and entered the room.

Atem was waiting.

Kaiba glanced around. Just like the last time, the cathedral hadn't appeared. Neon blue lights ran along empty gray walls. Atem shone against the drab background like a living flame, his breast and arms laden with gold, matching the color of his hair. His robes were as short as Kaiba remembered, his arms just as strong. Kaiba swallowed.

Kaiba had dressed to match, to remind Atem that he was the king of his own empire. Kaiba set his feet shoulder length apart, leaned back and crossed his arms as he faced Atem. A row of setting suns bordered the hem of his long coat. Pink and peach halos surrounded them, fading to a deep midnight blue. Silver stars winked on his shoulders, courtesy of LED lights. His clothes underneath were simple, a sapphire blue button down shirt and navy slacks.

Atem whistled as he took in Kaiba's outfit. It should have been ridiculous, but on Kaiba's tall frame, with Kaiba's eyes matching the brilliance of his LED lights, he looked magnificent instead.

"Does this mean you finally believe I'm real?" Atem asked.

"No." The word was harsh, uncompromising.

Atem's eyes narrowed. "You keep clinging to your ignorance as if it was a shield. So, tell me, Kaiba, what is it protecting you from?"

"From being the kind of fool who believes in his own illusions."

"So, you'd rather be the kind who closes his eyes and then shouts that he can't see?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Why do my computer systems keep arguing with me?" he asked the air.

Atem growled. "Computer system? Do you think I can't match you step for step, no matter the game?"

Kaiba shook his head. His bangs fell forward, shielding his eyes from Atem's gaze. "When I went to the Netherworld, I wasn't relying on anyone but myself. And now you're asking me to believe that if I just sit here and do nothing… the thing I want most… the person I want to see so badly I dream of him over and over, will just waltz in here like it was nothing." Kaiba laughed. "You're asking me to believe that you care that much."

"Kaiba… after all we've been through together, is that so hard?" Atem asked quietly.

"It's impossible. After you left… I wanted a duel. You owed me that. I wanted you to pay for running out without a word. I dug up the Puzzle pieces to keep you my prisoner. It seemed fair at the time – you tossed me aside like a piece of trash, I was going to force you back until I was done with you."

Atem drew in a breath, determined to hear Kaiba out, to keep him talking. When they'd dueled in the Netherworld, Atem had told himself that it was his duty to help Kaiba. When they'd said goodbye, he'd realized that his feelings could never be contained by so cold and formal a word. The desperate need to help Kaiba remained, only it was warmer and sadder now, as if the ache in Kaiba's heart had transferred itself to his.

"Kaiba…" he whispered.

Kaiba held up a hand and Atem fell silent.

Kaiba's lips twitched. It was another proof that he was right. The real Atem would never have stopped talking at his command.

"It didn't work," Kaiba said. "Yugi put the last pieces in the Puzzle and nothing happened. And I had to accept that you weren't going to show up for me. So, I barged into a fucking Netherworld. And I won. I got what I came for. So why do I keep dreaming about you? Why am I here yelling at a holographic dueling avatar as if the pharaoh was actually standing in front of me, was actually listening to me and no one else?"

"Kaiba, if you believe that, why did you come back?"

"Because I can talk to you."

Atem sighed. "And what would you say if you truly believed I was standing in front of you?

Kaiba's laugh was softer than Atem remembered and sadder. "Probably nothing. We never could talk, could we? Not unless we had cards in our hands."

"I disagree," Atem said. "What about that helicopter ride? What about when we walked through the streets of Domino?"

"When you were looking for your friends you mean?"

" _We_ were friends, too."

"Friends say goodbye."

Atem closed his eyes, remembering. "Kaiba… I'm sorry… I have no answer to give you."

Kaiba's laugh returned to the harsh bark that Atem remembered. "Of course you don't. I programmed you! How could you come up with an answer for something I don't know? I keep going over it in my head and nothing adds up except that we were never friends, and I can't accept that answer, even though it's the only one that makes sense."

"Kaiba, no…"

Kaiba turned on him suddenly, teeth bared in a snarl. "You think I don't want this to be real? You think I don't wish we could stand here like this? You think I don't want to tell you how much it killed me that you walked away without a word… that somehow you'd managed to become the most important person in my life besides Mokuba and I wasn't worth the time it would have taken you to say goodbye." Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "You think I don't keep coming back here hoping you'll explain it all in a way I'd believe? I haven't wanted anyone to lie to me and make me believe it, not since the day my father walked through the door and told me my mom had died. And here I am wanting lies from you."

Atem stared at him, transfixed. He'd caught glimpses of this Kaiba before, of the Kaiba whose turbulence and passion was barely masked by his arrogance and anger, of the Kaiba who revealed his vulnerability even in the act of hiding it, leaving Atem hungry for those moments when Kaiba allowed it to escape, when he was simply and purely Kaiba. Now, Kaiba's emotions were flooding them both. Atem struggled to keep afloat even as he realized he was waiting to drown.

"Kaiba…" Atem breathed.

"I'm here because if this is all I can have, I want the illusion," Kaiba said stubbornly.

Atem had never thought of Kaiba as young, any more than he'd ever thought of himself that way. But here Kaiba was, seconds away from pouting like a child being denied a treat.

It was endearing.

Atem took a step forward and then another, until he was close enough to reach up and cup Kaiba's lean face in his hands. "I'm here, Kaiba. I think somewhere inside, you know that. What do you want?" Atem asked.

"You," Kaiba answered.

Atem stood on his tip toes and brushed Kaiba's lips with his own.

It was a whisper of a kiss. Atem feathered others across Kaiba's jawline, as barely felt as a warm spring breeze.

Kaiba drew in a breath and leaned back, offering his neck. Atem sucked gently at the soft skin on the underside of his jaw. Then, as Kaiba's skin warmed, Atem increased the pressure, biting, then swirling his tongue, determined to mark the pale skin beyond doubt, to brand every inch of it, if it would make Kaiba believe.

Atem took one of Kaiba's hands and placed it on his own chest. "Feel my heart beating against yours and believe," Atem breathed in Kaiba's ear. "I'm here. Listen to your heart for once. You want this to be real. You want me to grab you and kiss you and never let you go. And I want that as well."

Atem's words slowly worked their way through the fog in Kaiba's brain. But before he could answer with a taunt or a joke or another denial, Atem grabbed him by the lapels of his overly ornamented coat and yanked Kaiba's face down to his. Atem's other hand palmed the back of Kaiba's head, holding him in place. Atem smiled, sensing victory as he pressed his lips to Kaiba's. It was an attack as well as a kiss, as swift and intense as the challenge to a duel.

Kaiba's mouth opened – whether in surprise or desire was impossible to tell. That movement, that tiny hint of surrender, ignited something in Atem, a rightness, a hunger, an anger at Kaiba for being so stubborn, for needing to be chased and held.

Atem dropped his hands to Kaiba's hips and pulled him tight.

"Atem," Kaiba whispered.

"Yes," Atem answered, moving back to Kaiba's neck, teasing the soft and already bruised skin.

Kaiba's thoughts chased after each other as furiously and fruitlessly as a hamster on a wheel. Kaiba knew it couldn't be real because it felt too good, too unlike anything but his dreams. He knew that if he ever spilled his guts, Atem wouldn't follow it up by kissing and caressing him. He knew this couldn't be happening because he wanted it so badly. And most of all, Kaiba knew that if he believed, even for an instant, it would all disappear and Kaiba knew that he didn't want it to stop.

Kaiba groaned. He smashed his lips against Atem, trying to drown out the thoughts whirling through his mind. One arm wrapped around Atem's body, pulling him closer still. The other tangled itself in Atem's hair. He moaned as Atem pulled his shirt out of his pants. Would he believe that this was real if his lips were swollen and bruised tomorrow?

"Atem," Kaiba murmured again. "I want you."

Atem breathed a prayer of thankfulness. He was here. Kaiba was with him. Kaiba finally believed. "I'm here," Atem assured him.

Kaiba stopped whatever Atem would have said next with his lips. Kaiba knew that this Atem wasn't real, but he was still made up of Kaiba's memories and hopes and unacknowledged dreams.

And so, Kaiba let himself surrender, let himself drown in this moment, no longer caring that he was precisely the kind of fool who believed in his own holograms, finally admitting this was what he'd wanted from the moment he'd walked through the door.

Atem worked swiftly down Kaiba's shirtfront, undoing the buttons and pushing both the shirt and the heavy jacket off. He fondled the front of Kaiba's body, skimming over the planes of his chest, pausing to tweak a small nipple to pinprick erectness. Kaiba groaned again, more loudly. Atem moved his hand downwards, to the front of Kaiba's pants. Kaiba's whole body stiffened; another strangled "Atem" escaped. Atem smiled and undid Kaiba's waistband.

Atem paused and gazed at Kaiba, half naked and braced against the wall. Kaiba's body was adorned with the occasional stray nick, as if the sculptor that had shaped his torso had let his chisel slip in a moment of carelessness. Atem couldn't resist covering the small line on Kaiba's collarbone with a darker, deeper, more temporary mark of his own creation. He reached out a thumb to trace the matching bruise he'd left under Kaiba's chin. Kaiba moaned and leaned further into the wall, his head tilted back, inviting Atem's further attack. Atem complied, deepening the blotches on Kaiba's neck before moving to create yet another one. Kaiba's hand was still twined in Atem's hair. His other hand pushed Atem's garment off his shoulders. It fell in folds to drape around his waist.

"Say my name," Kaiba ordered.

"Kaiba."

"This is better than a dream," Kaiba said, his voice milkshake thick.

"Yes...because it's real."

"Stop it. You're ruining the fantasy… and it's the best I've ever had."

"What? How can you still think that?" Atem shouted. He looked up at Kaiba, mouth open in shock. He'd been so sure Kaiba's willingness had meant belief.

"This wouldn't be happening if it was real." Kaiba's voice was strained. "There's no way I'd be going along with any of it. Now just let me get back to my illusion." His lips found Atem's again. One hand moved to the robes held in place by Atem's belt.

Atem froze.

"Come on," Kaiba urged. "Enough arguing. Say my name again."

For once, Kaiba's eyes were unshielded by his heavy fall of hair, but if Kaiba's heart was in them, Atem couldn't read their message. Atem only knew that he could strip away the last of their clothes, and Kaiba would welcome each move. Kaiba's legs were already parted; one of Atem's had slipped in between. Kaiba's hand had moved from Atem's hair to his lower back to push Atem in tighter, to increase the friction of Atem's body against his groin.

But Atem also knew each move would further convince Kaiba that none of this was real, that none of this could be happening. He could take Kaiba, here on the floor of his computer lab… but Kaiba would be convinced he was making love to an illusion. And Atem would be letting himself be turned into a ghost again, after fighting his way to live, to be with Kaiba, if only in this one room. Making love to Kaiba would be the final betrayal of them both.

"I can't do this to you… I can't let you do this to me… not when you don't believe, when you don't understand, when you don't know… " Atem said. He released his hold on Kaiba and sank to his knees. His focus shattered, and with it, his grasp on the room, as if the thread that had guided him here was fraying to the breaking point under the tension. Atem grabbed his head and rocked back and forth, still kneeling on the floor, fighting to stay with Kaiba, to say something, anything that would right this moment.

"I can't," he repeated, as the final threads holding him to Earth dissolved, turning him into a ghost once more. Even as he shut his eyes, even as he soared back to the Netherworld, he kept seeing Kaiba, his face ashen, his eyes wide open and staring at nothing, looking as if he'd been shot and had forgotten how to fall.

Kaiba slid to the floor. He stared unseeing at his disarranged and scattered clothes, then raised his eyes to the void where Atem had just stood, where he'd kissed and fondled Kaiba, where he'd vanished again, leaving Kaiba alone.

Had he just been rejected by his own hologram?

Kaiba shook his head, doubt creeping into his thoughts and coiling there like a snake sleeping in the sun. Kaiba knew pain in all its forms and this cut too deeply to be an illusion. It was achingly familiar, the same pain he'd felt when he'd read Yugi's email, when he'd realized that Atem had left him without a word. Atem's disappearance tonight had been a second thrust to the gut, a wound that only Atem – the real Atem – could inflict. Kaiba stared at the empty space, reliving the moment when Atem had pushed him away and disappeared as the words of Yugi's email spun around and around in his brain, until past and present merged in an unending cycle of loss and abandonment. "Maybe," Kaiba said, addressing the air. "Maybe, now I believe in you."

Rain had always been a gentle, caressing thing in the Netherworld. This was a torrent. Atem stood in the courtyard, leaning against the railing, hunched over with the force of his sobs. He didn't realize Mahaad had joined him until he felt his friend's hands on his shoulders. He leaned against Mahaad's chest.

"What happened?" Mahaad asked urgently.

"I went there again… to Kaiba's computer lab. Horakhty told me how to do it."

Mahaad sighed. He should have expected Atem to seek Kaiba out. "What happened? What did he do to you?"

"I could have… he would have… but I couldn't… not when he thought I was a computer image… not after I…"

Mahaad nodded. He stroked Atem's hair. "Shhhhh… my prince."

"Please… call me Atem."

"As you wish, Atem."

Atem smiled at the expected answer.

"If he doesn't believe in you, he's a fool," Mahaad added.

"No. He's hurt. Badly. So badly he can't believe my wanting him could be anything but a mirage. I didn't know he felt like that. I don't even know if I should have known." Atem sighed. "Maybe none of this would have happened if I had talked to him before I left."

"Would that have changed anything? Do you really think that he would have accepted your decision? And would you…" Mahaad paused, took a breath and then continued, "and would you have stopped missing him if he had?"

Atem shook his head. "No. On all counts. It all happened so fast. I thought… I don't know what I thought."

"You are the pharaoh. But you still can't summon the winds or decree how strongly they blow."

Atem's laugh was a fragile, shaky effort, but it was there. "I had a dragon tell me something similar recently."

Mahaad paused again, then said, "I thought all of us… your friends… your council… would be enough. I thought you would be content here," Mahaad pressed his lips together, then said, "Your pardon..."

For the first time since he'd arrived, Atem gave Mahaad a command, "Say what's on your mind, my friend."

"I don't understand why we weren't," Mahaad whispered.

Atem sighed and looked away, before returning his gaze to Mahaad. "I lived another life. And that one had things beyond imagining, had people who became my friends, who became just as dear. I thought I could end one timeline and begin another as easily as a train switching tracks to continue its journey."

"Trains?" Mahaad said, raising an eyebrow.

"A modern metaphor, I know. But trains and planes and space elevators are as much a part of me as this palace. I must find a way to reconcile the two."

Mahaad nodded and went back inside. Atem walked to the fountain. He sat on its border and stared at the sky as if he could see Kaiba's space station shining overhead.

"Oh, Kaiba," Atem whispered, his voice scarcely louder than the water's murmur. "You've infected me with a desire for life."

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** It's probably obvious by now that a lot of this story is about loss and the characters' reactions to it. But it occurred to me, that Mai's role (or lack of a role) in the rest of the manga represents another, incredibly commonplace kind of loss, the kind where nothing dramatic happens, but where people drift apart because of geographic distance or because, especially given how young the characters are, life takes them in different directions. And although both of them would hate the comparison, if Jounouchi calls Mai, he will, in a much more down-to-earth way, be doing the same thing Kaiba did when he built his space station and launched himself across dimensions.

 _Note to AnonQuill:_ Thank you! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.**_


	8. Undying and Other Lands

**CHAPTER 8: UNDYING AND OTHER LANDS**

DEPRESSION: In the Lord of the Rings, the Undying Lands may not technically be a paradise, but it sure seems to come pretty close. And yet, with eternal bliss to look forward to, Haldir's first thought on having to leave his home in Lothlorien is: "It would be a poor life in the land where no mallorn grew. But if there are mallorn-trees beyond the great Sea, none have reported it."

 _MORAL: For some people, even paradise isn't all it's hyped up to be._

* * *

Atem would have claimed to have gotten up with the dawn, except that he'd never gone to sleep after his disastrous encounter with Kaiba. It was good to see the sun, anyway. He walked down to the river.

Last night, he'd been shocked to silence by the depth of Kaiba's anger and pain. Now he found himself muttering angrily as he walked. He stopped and addressed the air, as though Kaiba had appeared in front of him. "You barely accepted my friendship, you hypocrite! You barely hinted you wanted anything from me except my defeat! How was I supposed to know you were going to be hurt by losing something you never acknowledged wanting?" Atem waved a finger in the air, somewhere in the direction of where Kaiba's nose should have been. "Even the Netherworld isn't far enough to get away from an infuriating jackass like you! Mahaad was right! If I had told you before I left, you wouldn't have listened and you know it!"

Atem snorted. "I wish I was there this morning just to watch you try to explain away all those hickeys. I bet you're babbling to yourself in the mirror right now about Solid Vision or some other nonsense." Atem stopped short, suddenly aware that he truly wished that he was in Kaiba's bathroom with him. He gulped, picturing Kaiba getting out of his shower with his hair wet-dark and slicked back, with trails of water easing their way down his body…

Atem stamped his foot in the most childish, un-pharoahlike way possible. "Don't think you can distract me that easily. And don't tell me that I should have known. What about you ignoring every sign that I'm real? Look to your own behavior before you try to claim some kind of moral high ground, here."

Atem stopped in mid-rant and chuckled. It was hard to imagine Kaiba, except in the matter of weapons production, claiming any kind of moral ground, high or otherwise. He was simply and abrasively himself, and he left the definitions of his conduct to others. "You really are a jerk, aren't you?" But Atem's tone was softer now. Even more dangerously, that one small laugh had opened the door to other memories.

Atem drew in a breath, ready to relive the night before in all its horrible glory. He'd never expected to see his rival so open, so unguarded… so vulnerable. He flushed at the memory of just how eager Kaiba had been. He closed his eyes, remembering, with devastating clarity, the desperate loneliness on Kaiba's face. He knew it had worn the same expression the day Kaiba had found out he'd gone.

Atem winced, suddenly reminded of the matching look on Mahaad's face, the expression that Mahaad had been unable to hide when he'd asked why Atem's old friends – and this world – hadn't been enough. And Atem had no answer for Mahaad, any more than he'd had one for Kaiba.

Atem froze in place, quiet now, unable to move. Any direction led to disappointing someone. Ahead lay Kisara, who had expected him to take care of the man he'd just hurt. Behind, lay Mahaad and his councilors who had expected to get their pharaoh back instead of the Atem who had returned.

"As a pharaoh, it was your duty to live for your people."

Atem looked up with a start, blinking a little at the light streaming from Horakhty as she floated in the air above him. He'd been staring at the ground; he hadn't noticed her arrival. "You keep asking me what I want, but my life has never been about that."

"Do you know why the Netherworld is a paradise?"

Atem shook his head.

"Because here you can lay down your burdens."

"Coming here was the hardest thing I've ever done, even though I knew it was right. I'd lived once. I should have died. I had an entire world awaiting my return, friends I wanted to know again, a world I wanted to see. And Yugi needed to be free. I had to leave. But I couldn't do it and argue with Kaiba at the same time." Atem's lips twisted. "Not telling him was the one small mercy that I permitted myself."

"Small mercies are the only ones that pharaohs can take. You left because it was the best solution for everyone. But with Kaiba, you took something back."

"What?"

Horakhty smiled. "A sense of self."

Atem shook his head. "Isn't that just a nicer word for selfishness?"

"The reverse is true as well. Selfishness is sometimes a crueler word for accepting that sometimes you must come first. You are right to be wary. It's not often a pharaoh gets that luxury."

Atem raised his arm to shield his eyes. He needed to look directly into her sun-bright face. "How could it be the right thing to do when it hurt Kaiba so badly? And Mahaad… he's been my loyal friend… he wants me to be happy. He's in paradise and I've tainted it with my own sadness."

"Only the gods can be all things to all people." Her voice grew stern. "Remember your place, little pharaoh. You are a ruler of people, not dimensions."

"That's the third time someone has said something like that to me this week."

"You should try listening."

Atem shook his head again. "What kind of person is dissatisfied with paradise?"

Horakhty's lips tilted upwards. She folded her arms and slipped her hands into her bell sleeves. "Maybe it's time to figure that one out. You were itching for a challenge, weren't you?" she asked as she disappeared.

He should be used to her doing that now, Atem thought with his first genuine smile of the day.

Kaiba had dragged himself home after his encounter with whichever Atem he'd seen in his computer lab. He'd managed to stagger upstairs and stumble into his bed, where he'd fallen into a deep, mercifully dreamless sleep, until he'd been shocked awake by his alarm the next morning.

He sat up and stared for a moment at his creased coat and wrinkled pants, trying to figure out why he was still wearing them. Then, every humiliating detail from the night before rocketed through his mind. He dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

Kaiba had asked himself so many times over the years if he was hallucinating. First, trying to tell reality from waking sleep as he struggled to complete each assignment, then trying to fight his way out of whatever illusion the latest penalty game had thrown him into... or trying to understand why he suddenly had visions of being somewhere else, of wearing different clothes, of holding a girl up to a dragon, of fighting a pharaoh or watching him die…

Was this simply more of the same?

Had it really been a hologram? Was it possible that, even in the deepest recesses of his mind, he was incapable of imagining an Atem who wanted him; that he'd programmed his own creation to leave him hurt and alone?

Kaiba heaved himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, shedding clothes as he walked, trying not to remember Atem stripping them off the night before. He looked in the mirror.

And then there were the hickeys.

Kaiba stared at his neck and torso. He'd left the dueling arena bruised and bloodied before. He'd never looked anything like this. Kaiba tilted his head to get a better look at the deep purple-blue blotches, at the faint marks of Atem's teeth. He smiled. Here, in the privacy of his bathroom, he could admit that he liked the way he looked. He liked the thought that Atem had really been there, that he'd felt the same desperation, the same aching need, that he'd been driven by the same certainty that nothing would ever be right again.

Or was the desperation, the need, all on Kaiba's side, just as it had always been?

Kaiba shook his head and got in the shower, smiling again as the water hit his body, making each bruise, each bite mark, sting. He got out and dried himself off, trying to steady his mind for the coming day.

But one question remained. What kind of fool was he willing to be?

Isis hadn't been avoiding Malik since her meeting with Shadi, exactly. He'd been out during the daytime. She'd had to work late in the evenings. She jumped when she came home and turned on the lights to find Malik sitting in the dark. He hated the dark.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to cover her start of surprise.

"There are some skills you never lose. I wanted to think. And sometimes, I can still see more clearly in the dark."

"Where's Rishid?" she asked, looking around.

"He's at the store. He'll be back soon. Is there something you want to say without him?"

"Why should there be?" Isis parried.

"I don't know. But sitting here reminded me that secrets need darkness to grow."

Isis drew in a breath and turned on the rest of the lights. She sat down at the table and looked across at Malik. "Shadi has returned."

Malik stared at her for a moment. Then he chuckled. "Of course he has. I thought things were too quiet lately." He paused, waiting to see if Isis had anything more to add. "What did Shadi want?" Malik asked when Isis didn't reply.

"From us? Nothing," Isis said.

"How unlike him," Malik muttered. He leaned forward in his chair, waiting.

Isis got up and went into the kitchen. She came back with a glass of cold water, sat down and took a sip.

"Now that you've had time to think, what have you left out?" Malik asked.

Isis paused a moment. "He told me that the pharaoh has returned as well."

"So, our grand destiny was all for nothing." Malik threw back his head and laughed. "Perfect."

"Shadi said that the pharaoh must be freed to return to the Netherworld. He didn't ask for our help. Our clan has devoted our lives for generations to the pharaoh's cause." Isis shook her head. "It's hard to know what's right," she admitted, thinking of the Millennium Necklace and finding an odd comfort in her refusal to use it.

Malik frowned. It was unfair to blame Atem for their father's cruelty or for Shadi's lies. It was impossible not to do it anyway. He supposed though, that moving out of the shadows included leaving some of his own resentments behind as well. "No matter what our clan said, Atem wasn't the one to bind us. We chained ourselves. It was our cause, not his. He was an innocent bystander in a farce written millennia ago. If Atem's decided to change his ending, good for him."

Isis put her hand in the deep pockets of her dress, stroking the smooth gold of the Millennium Necklace. Despite Malik's words, life was never that clear. Seto Kaiba had proven that destiny could be defied. But that didn't mean that she was the right person to do so. Isis thought back to the childhood that lay between her and Malik like a constant open wound. Did her fault lay in the hundreds of times that she'd accepted the dictates of her clan, followed the orders of her father… or did it lay in the one time she'd disobeyed, in the one time when she'd shown Malik a glimpse of the sky?

Mokuba raced to the computer lab, outrunning even his brother's longer legs.

"Hurry up, Nisama! I want to see him!" Mokuba urged.

Kaiba entered the room and called up Mokuba's avatar.

Mokuba circled the hologram, unconsciously mimicking his brother, before coming to a stop in front of it again. It was eerily, uncannily accurate. The duplicate stuck out his tongue at Mokuba.

"Nisama! It looks just like me! And you didn't even need me to model for it. Or did you just use surveillance pictures from our security cameras?"

"Of course not!" Kaiba said, outraged. "As if I'd need a photograph to duplicate you! It's all up here." Kaiba tapped the side of his head and then frowned. "Didn't you know that?"

Mokuba smiled up at his brother, his eyes at their widest. "I guess I should have. You can do anything."

Kaiba smiled.

Mokuba exhaled in relief and turned back to his duplicate. "Okay, now that I look right, what superpowers do I have?"

Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. "You want superpowers?"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. He was pleased to see that his avatar did the same. "Well… duh," they both said.

"Superpowers are fake," Kaiba declared. He turned to face the avatar. "And you, be quiet."

"He's fake, too, remember?" Mokuba said. "Okay, magical powers, then. We've run into enough of those. Like a Millennium Item or something."

Kaiba frowned. "You want a Millennium Item? What for?"

"You gotta admit they come in handy," Mokuba pointed out.

Kaiba smirked. "Technology is better."

Mokuba groaned. 'Okay, what _technology_ do I get?" His face scrunched up in thought for a moment. "How about a jetpack or mechanical wings or something. Then I could fly and swoop down on people when they break the rules! That would be awesome!"

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "Believe me, I can do a lot better for my brother than a boring old jet pack."

Mokuba grinned back.

Kaiba glanced at the avatar again. He had frozen in the middle of making a rude gesture. Kaiba shook his head, pulled out his phone and looked at the time. "I have a boring business dinner to go to."

"If it's boring, why are you going?"

"I said boring, not unprofitable. The limousine is waiting outside. After it drops me off, the driver can take you home."

"Is it okay if I stay? I want to look at him some more and maybe take some notes."

Kaiba nodded. "Call for a ride home when you're done."

Mokuba breathed a sigh of relief when his brother left the room. He waited for a few minutes to make sure his brother was really gone, then headed for the dueling arena down the hall. His brother had been working late even though everything was on schedule. Mokuba had checked the security tapes. His brother had been visiting his holographic dueling arena instead of coming home. Mokuba wanted to know why.

Mokuba faked his brother's biometric readings with the ease of long practice and entered the room. He jumped back in surprise. He wasn't alone.

"Yugi! What are you doing here?" Mokuba took a step closer to the unexpected intruder. "No… you're not Yugi… what the hell?"

"Mokuba?" Atem said.

Mokuba walked forward and circled him. Atem sighed. It was clearly a Kaiba brothers trait.

"My brother said you looked different."

Atem's gaze rested on Mokuba's hair. "So do you."

"What are you doing here?" Mokuba asked.

"I thought your brother might be here."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"You don't think I'm a hologram?" Atem asked.

"Duh. I'm not an idiot. I didn't start a program running."

Atem's lips twitched. "Yes. You'd have to be an idiot to get something like that wrong and hold to your mistaken belief so persistently in the face of all evidence..."

Mokuba frowned. "I'm not going to trash my brother. And I'm sure as hell not going to stand here while you do."

Atem flushed slightly. "Of course not." He paused. "I never meant to hurt him."

Mokuba stood up to his full height. He was almost as tall as Atem, now. "But you did."

Atem nodded. "But I did."

There was another pause, then Mokuba asked, "So, what's it like over there, anyway?" Mokuba looked down. "I didn't want to ask my brother. I wanted him to throw it in the past and forget about it, like he usually does."

"You wanted him to forget me?"

Mokuba shrugged.

"I wanted that as well, if it would have made him happier. I thought the duel would end things."

"Did you forget him too? After he left, I mean." Mokuba paused. "Or after you did, I guess."

"No."

They looked at each other for a moment and then they both looked away.

"What's it like?" Mokuba repeated.

Atem wondered if Mokuba was asking what had been worth leaving them for. "It's… peaceful," he replied.

"Peaceful?" Mokuba asked, his eyebrows vanishing beneath his bangs. "Peaceful?" he repeated as if he'd never heard the world before.

Atem shook his head. Maybe Diva was right and you had to experience a word to understand what it meant. "The Netherworld is blue waters and green grass and golden fields. It's birds in the sky and fish in the river and all the animals you've seen on pyramid walls. It's more than just peaceful. It _is_ peace."

"That's nice, I guess."

Atem was uneasily aware that he'd failed to convince Mokuba. Mahaad would have done a better job. "I wish you could meet the people there. Mahaad, Mana… they're all so special and I might never have gotten to know them." Firmness returned to his voice as he described his friends.

Mokuba chuckled. "Now, you sound like Yugi."

Atem grinned back. "Thank you."

"You really don't have any toilets?" Mokuba blushed. "That's what my brother said."

Atem shook his head. "Not like here."

Mokuba snorted. "Some paradise. I can see why you were in such a rush to get there."

"It wasn't a rush. It simply had to be done."

"Well, it's not like you took the time to say goodbye or anything."

Atem sighed. It was impossible to explain. And even if he could come up with the words, Kaiba deserved to hear them first. Talking about plumbing was safer. "You remember how Diva spoke of the world being composed of our memories of it? That's even more true of the Netherworld. And none of its creators had a memory of modern toilets."

"But you do," Mokuba pointed out. "Couldn't you think one into being?"

Atem's brows drew together in thought. "I don't know."

"You mean you never tried?" Mokuba said, outraged.

Atem laughed. He reached out to ruffle Mokuba's hair, noticing how much less there was of it. "You're very like your brother."

"It's about time someone noticed." Mokuba paused. "You really came here hoping to see him?"

Atem nodded. "Tell him… no, never mind."

Mokuba stared at Atem. "You can't seriously think I'm going to hide meeting you from him."

"No, of course not. But I'm not going to make you my messenger, especially when I have no idea what to say."

"Why don't you just go over to his office to tell him yourself?" Mokuba asked. He hid a grin at the thought of the stir that would create.

"I can't. Your brother… his thoughts were most focused here. I was able to follow his signal to this place, but I can't go beyond it."

"That sucks," Mokuba said. "So, you just have to show up and hope you get him instead of me?"

"It's good to see you. But yes, I have to wait and hope."

"Sounds fair to me," Mokuba said with satisfaction. "How long can you stay before you disappear again?"

"I'm not sure. A while, I guess, unless something happens to break my concentration." Atem's face heated with color.

"You mean if you had to focus on something else – like a duel?"

"Not exactly," Atem answered, looking down and shifting his feet.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Mokuba frowned. He really didn't want to watch while Atem faded away. That would be too weird. "Okay, well… good night, then," he said as he headed for the door. It whooshed to a close behind him. Mokuba leaned against it for a second, realizing that there was so much more he wanted to know.

He turned around and re-entered the room. It was empty.

"Atem," he called out. "Where are you? Come back."

Mokuba had never seen his brother's dueling program before. He stared as a cathedral grew around him. Atem appeared in the middle of the nave in the center of a swirling sphere of fire and light. Mokuba's eyes narrowed as he ran through the possibilities. Was calling for Atem enough to start the program running?

"Atem?" he asked, his voice cracking as he said Atem's name.

Atem nodded and crossed his arms. "Of course."

Mokuba circled Atem. If this was his brother's hologram, he'd outdone himself. Every detail was identical to the Atem he'd just left. It was enough to make Mokuba doubt everything he'd seen tonight.

Mokuba's eyes narrowed. "Which one are you?"

"Your brother only has one rival," Atem answered.

"Are you really here for my brother?"

"Always."

Mokuba frowned. That answer didn't help determine who was who. And there was no point in grabbing Atem. His brother's invention wasn't called "Solid Vision" for nothing. It could fool you into believing you were holding onto a person, even as your hands closed around empty air.

"Are you real?" Mokuba blurted out, knowing it was a ridiculous question.

Atem smirked. "Are you?"

"Stop playing around!"

Atem put his hands on his hips. "I'm the King of Games. That's like asking your brother to stop wanting to win."

Mokuba growled in frustration. He tried to think of something only the real Atem could answer. "How do you really feel about dying?" He paused. "How did you feel about leaving my brother?"

Atem's eyes widened. He stood stock-still. His mouth opened and shut.

Was that a glitch in his programming, or was he at a loss for words?

For the first time, Atem looked like a teenager who had died way too young. "I don't know," he whispered.

Mokuba drew in a breath. He did the one thing his brother hadn't, the one thing that could settle the question for good. "End program!" he yelled.

The cathedral vanished, taking Atem with it. Mokuba leaned against the wall, too shaken to stand, unaided. Even after years of living with his brother's holograms, it was still hard for Mokuba to believe that he'd just been talking to a figment of his brother's imagination. His brother had seen the real Atem once, staying only long enough for a duel and a win. Mokuba drew in a breath, stunned by how thoroughly his Nisama must have known Atem, to have captured him so completely.

Mokuba gave a small whistle. Had the dueling avatar been good enough to fool his brother, to let him believe their road of battle continued even after his victory? Was that what his brother was coming here looking for, night after night? Mokuba gave himself a shake and headed for the exit.

Mokuba was silent on the ride home. Had his brother left his program running? Was that why Atem had seemed to be waiting, the first time Mokuba had entered the room? It was hard to believe, but not impossible. That second Atem had been so real. He'd been the Atem that Mokuba remembered, the one who'd trash talked his way through every duel, the one who'd challenged his brother, who'd made his Nisama rethink all the rules he'd lived by ever since their parents had died. In every word that Atem had spoken tonight, he'd carried a hint of the duelist who'd pulled Mokuba out of a Death Simulation Chamber, who'd forced his brother to reassemble his own heart in the wreckage of Death-T.

And if that Atem had been fake, then what was real?

Mokuba got out of the limousine, thanked the driver and headed up to bed, glad that his brother was still out of the house. But as he lay in the darkness of his room, one question remained: Was the Atem who'd first greeted him, the one in the empty lab, the same as the hologram he'd just dismissed?

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I wanted to make the dueling avatar different enough from Atem for that difference to be noticed, while still having it sound enough like Mokuba's memories of Atem to be believable. It occurred to me that, in some ways, the dueling avatar might have been truer to form to Mokuba than the real Atem, because Mokuba is most used to seeing the trash-talking ultra-confident duelist who battled his brother. I liked the idea that Mokuba's perceptions of who Atem is might be inaccurate enough to make telling who was who difficult.

 **Plumbing Note:** The ancient Egyptians had very complicated irrigation and plumbing systems, including indoor copper pipes for the very rich. However, I think Mokuba would think of toilets as modern flush toilets and judge their world as lacking. I also think that since he's 13, this is a detail that would stick in his head.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.**_ _**Please comment.**_


	9. Moving Days

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:** In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," Shadi recues (or collects) a group of orphans. To be honest, I'm not sure how detailed his original plan was, but he was very concerned with insuring that the pharaoh went to and remained in the afterlife. The children, led by Diva, were collectively called the Plana.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 09: MOVING DAYS**

BARGAINING: Edmond Dantes was buried alive in the Château d'If only to be reborn as the Count of Monte Cristo. Only to squander more years chasing revenge than his enemies originally stole. Only to decide in the end that, "all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope'."

 _MORAL: When you're telling a ghost story, it's easy to get so caught up with the afterlife, you forget that the living have choices to make, too._

* * *

Shadi couldn't explain, even to himself, why he needed to see Diva, why he had to judge for himself that the boy was okay. But he knew that before he could move forward with his current plan, he needed to look back, at least for a moment. Shadi pulled into the shadow of a doorway and waited. He heard Diva's voice before he saw him.

Diva was walking down the street with his sister and his best friend. They were laughing. Diva stopped suddenly and looked around.

Shadi stepped back, melting further into the doorway.

Diva shook his head. He turned to Sera and Mani. "Did either of you guys feel anything? Like we're being spied on or something?"

Mani sighed. "It's probably just another Kaiba Corporation operative. They're not exactly subtle."

"No. This was different. For a moment I thought… it was almost like…" He stopped and scanned the streets again.

"What?" Sera asked, her eyes wide with worry.

Diva smiled at her. "Never mind. It's just, for a moment, I could have sworn that our friend and mentor was here. It felt like Shadi was still watching over us."

Mani reached out and gripped Diva's shoulder. "It's okay. I believe that too. When it's late at night, I lie in bed knowing I'm safe. And I feel like I did when he was still with us, like he's protecting us, wherever we are. And maybe in a way, it's true. I try to live as he said, without fear or hatred."

"For years," Diva said, "every time I thought of Shadi, I drowned in my own bitterness. But once I let go of my anger over his death, I regained his life. It's odd to feel sad without feeling angry, but now, when I think of him, I think of how kind he was, how he was the first person who cared, how warm and safe I felt when we all sat in a circle together. I miss him."

"He would be proud of you. He never wanted revenge, " Mani pointed out.

Diva nodded. They continued down the street. By the time they reached the corner they were laughing again.

Shadi watched until they were out of sight. He'd been right to find them. Diva was happier now. He'd been tied to Shadi's death. Now he was free. Forgetting was the answer. If he could help the others forget, then the pharaoh, too, would be free to fulfill his destiny. Shadi frowned. It would not be easy to reach Kaiba or the others. Not at first. Kaiba had found a way not only to protect himself from the Millennium Cube, but to harness its power. Luckily, there were easier targets, duelists whose memories of the pharaoh were held more loosely, and who were beyond the reach of Kaiba's technology. It was time for the hunt to begin.

Kaiba tapped his fingers against the security report, noting that his dueling area had been accessed the night before. Kaiba smiled slightly, although he was alone in his office. He should have known that Mokuba would get curious, that he'd want to see his brother's crowning holographic achievement for himself.

Kaiba appreciated the message as well: despite his recent distraction, they were still a team. Mokuba wanted to know what was going on with him on badly enough to hack his biometrics and break into his private holographic arena. And Mokuba's entrance on the scene had changed things, had replaced confusion and doubt with something much more familiar and welcome. Mokuba had made it all a Kaiba Corporation project, something they were sharing, once again.

Kaiba waited until they were in the car. There was something about being in transit, neither at home nor in the office, that made it easier to talk to Mokuba, especially lately. But when they cleared the downtown area, Mokuba turned to him.

"Please?" Mokuba asked, his eyes opened to their widest.

Kaiba grunted and got out of the car so Mokuba could slide over. He got in on the passenger's side. He'd barely shut the door when Mokuba pressed down on the gas pedal. His foot was a little heavy but neither brother noticed.

Kaiba frowned slightly, trying to decide if asking Mokuba what – or _who_ – he'd seen in the lab would be a good test of Mokuba's ability to stay focused on the road. He glanced at Mokuba.

They'd reached the long straight stretch of road before the turn off for their grounds. It was empty. Mokuba turned to his brother. His grin threatened to break his face in two if it grew any bigger. "Thanks, Nisama. Watch this!" Mokuba turned back to the road. He floored the gas pedal. The car shot ahead. Both brothers laughed.

Mokuba steered the car into its place in the garage He was about to turn off the engine, when Kaiba spoke. "What did you think?"

Mokuba didn't bother asking what his brother was talking about. He'd known when he'd hacked his way into the dueling arena that the access report would be on his brother's desk by morning. "You're amazing, Nisama! It totally fooled me."

"So, it was a hologram all along," Kaiba said, suddenly aware of how much he didn't want to be right.

"Yup. I turned off the program and he disappeared."

Kaiba stared at him, glad for the near darkness of the garage. "You ended the program?"

"Well, yeah. It seemed the obvious way to make sure what was what."

Kaiba nodded. It was such a simple thing to do. Why hadn't he thought of it? Kaiba pressed his lips together as he tried to sort it out. If he'd known Atem was real, he wouldn't have been able to talk to him. If he'd known Atem was fake, he wouldn't have bothered. He'd chosen ignorance. Kaiba's eyes widened. He shook his head in disgust. He'd never thought himself a coward before.

"Nisama... What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Mokuba glanced at his brother. He paused, trying to think of how to word his next question, then gave up and just said, "You didn't try that?"

"No." Kaiba ground the word out.

Mokuba nodded. He didn't ask why. They sat for a moment in silence. Then Mokuba added, "The thing is, I don't think that the Atem I spoke to at the end was the same one who was there earlier."

Even in the dim light, it was impossible to miss the gleam that sprang into Kaiba's eyes. "Explain."

Mokuba filled his brother in on both conversations. "They looked the same, but…" Mokuba shook his head. "I didn't start a program running for one thing. He was just there waiting when I walked in the door. He said he was waiting for you. The second one, he sounded more like Atem, you know all snarky and super confident, like you."

"And the first one?" Kaiba asked.

"He was still a smartass at times. But a lot of the time, it was like he was trying to figure things out and couldn't even hide it anymore." Mokuba shrugged. "Maybe going to the afterlife does that to you." Mokuba scanned his brother. The first Atem reminded him of his brother too, just in a different way.

"So, the answer is, 'Maybe.'" Kaiba said.

"I think the first Atem was the real deal." Mokuba paused. "Which answer were you hoping for?"

It was a question too far.

After a lifetime of reminding Mokuba that hope was an illusion, that life was unfair, Kaiba refused to sound like a sappy fool, even – or especially – to his little brother.

"Do you think…" Mokuba swallowed. "If I was standing next to my avatar... do you think anyone could tell us apart?"

"I'd know," Kaiba boasted. "Always."

Mokuba paused, then asked, "Then why couldn't you tell with Atem?"

"You're my brother. Atem isn't."

Mokuba grinned up at him.

"Your theory that there were two of them is worth exploring," Kaiba said. "It's possible you were confused into thinking there was only one by the excellence of my holograms."

Mokuba paused again and then said, "Maybe you were, too."

Kaiba grunted. He'd admitted uncertainty once already and that was enough. But even uncertainty was better than confessing that he'd known the truth from the beginning.

Isis glanced around, then forced herself to keep moving through the crowded streets. She shook her head. She was going home and she refused to waste any more time peering into doorways, checking to see if Shadi was there. A strange, uncertain feeling had gripped her all day. Isis slid her hand in her pocket and caressed the Necklace through the soft pouch that contained it. She didn't have to wonder. She could know. She whipped her hand free of her pocket as if it had been burned and hurried home.

Rishid was in the kitchen, washing a pot. Another was on the stove. The oven was on. Isis sniffed the air appreciatively. She could cook, but it was a chore, not a pleasure.

"Malik will be home soon," Rishid told her.

"Probably just in time for dinner," she teased.

Rishid nodded. He opened the oven door, peered in and shut it. "The eggplant is almost ready."

Isis sat at the kitchen table. Rishid dried and returned the pot, then joined her.

"Thank you," she said.

"I like to cook."

She nodded although they both knew she was talking about more than dinner. "Until your last visit, I didn't know that."

"Neither did I, until I tried."

Isis sighed. "I still worry about him," she admitted. There was something comfortable about sitting across from Rishid, talking about Malik, as if it was an ordinary part of their lives. Isis had talked to Rishid often over the years, but those conversations had never left her head.

"The time for worry is past," Rishid said.

"But he seems so aimless."

"He's doing what he wants."

"But it's not a life!" Isis protested.

"It's _his_ life." Rishid shook his head. "It's a curious thing, having choices… building a life around what you want to do."

"How long does he plan to keep doing it?"

Rishid shrugged. "As long as his video blog stays popular with subscribers and sponsors, I guess."

Isis stared at him. His words had suddenly stopped making sense. "His what?"

Rishid's face flamed. He made a couple of strangled sounds before mumbling, "Malik and Rishid Do the World."

"Do what?" Isis said.

"Uh… we travel and film it and people watch. I can show you…" Rishid got out his laptop and flipped it open. "This was one of our most popular ones."

Isis moved to sit next to him. The episode opened with Malik striking poses for the camera with Rishid standing behind him, looking like part of the decor. Then the show started. Isis squinted at the screen. Malik and Rishid were on top of the wall protecting a medieval fortress, leaning on a motorcycle.

"Are you supposed to be up there? And how did you get a motorcycle to the top of a wall?" Isis asked.

Rishid shrugged.

Isis watched, open-mouthed, as Malik got on the motorcycle. Rishid sat behind him. Malik revved up the machine and took off, tearing down the top of the crumbling ancient wall as if it was a track. Whenever they came into view you could see the look of pure triumphant joy on Malik's face.

They stopped the next time they passed the phone, mounted on its tripod. Rishid dismantled the tripod and turned the phone's camera on the ground below.

They'd collected a crowd, including a police car. Rishid swiveled the camera just in time to catch Malik's exuberant laugh. He got back on the motorcycle.

"How on Earth are you going to get down?" Isis interjected as Malik circled the wall then leapt onto the top of one of the wall's diagonal supports and followed it to the ground. Rishid was filming over his shoulder to capture the pursuit until they managed to lose themselves in a maze of tangled cobblestone streets.

They both got off the motorcycle. Rishid held out the phone for a selfie. Malik jumped on Rishid's back and raised his fists in the air and Rishid scrambled with his other hand to grab Malik's clothes and hold him in place.

Malik stuck out his tongue at the camera. "Living well is the best revenge. Die mad about it!" he hollered as the episode ended.

"This is what you do all day? What is wrong with you two?" Isis yelled.

Rishid gave her a wide, open-mouthed grin. Isis stared at him, wondering if she'd ever seen that expression on his face before. "Some of the other ones aren't so dangerous." He clicked to another episode. "This one's also popular."

It started again with Malik and Rishid posing, in Venice this time. Malik looked up into the cell phone camera that Rishid was holding above his head. "Our challenge: to eat at every gelato stand and sample every flavor in just one day! Can we do it?" The rest of the video was simply Malik and Rishid rambling through the city with Malik flirting with all the younger ice cream vendors and the older ones cooing over Rishid as if he was an overgrown toddler. The city managed to defeat them. They ended with the same tag line, shouting: "The best revenge is living well. Die mad about it!"

Malik came back in the apartment as the episode ended. "Do I have a new fan?" he asked.

Isis glanced back at the screen. She noticed the comments below the video. "Those boys are even yummier than the gelato… Mmmmmnnnnn yes, I want an Ishtar sandwich…." Isis' face flamed.

Rishid looked down to hide his slight smile.

"Lack of fans doesn't seem to be a problem." Isis slammed down the lid of the laptop. "It's so dangerous!" she scolded.

Malik smirked. "Eating gelato is dangerous?" He laughed at Isis' indignant face. "Isn't it a little late to be worried about danger?"

Isis stood up and crossed her arms. "You can't just wander around the world forever."

"I'm not looking at for ever. I'm looking at for right now. Cut out the big sister act. I've been on my own since I was twelve. I've done just fine."

"That was by your own choice. You turned on me when I would have helped you."

"There are people that I need to make amends to, sister. But you are not one of them," Malik hissed back.

"Tearing each other apart over the past will not heal the present," Rishid said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Malik and Isis turned to stare at him. They both noted, guiltily, that once again, Rishid had seemed to shrink into himself, as if he was trying to turn hide in plain sight in the middle of Isis' brightly lit kitchen.

"You're right, brother," Isis said to Rishid.

Malik smiled at her. "Please understand, Isis. I don't want the life you've found here. I want to see… everything."

Isis bit her lip. "We lived underground on the border of this city for most of our lives, but even when I was allowed up to the surface, I was never a part of it, not in the way everyone here takes for granted. I feel more at home with the artifacts in my museum than in the streets surrounding them. But those streets are my birthright, too. I want to put roots here."

"Where you see roots, we see chains."

"We?" Isis asked, one eyebrow delicately raised. "Have you ever asked Rishid?"

Malik opened his mouth to argue, then shut it with comical swiftness. He hadn't and Isis knew it. Even worse, Rishid knew it as well and had accepted Malik taking him for granted. Malik hugged Rishid. "I'm sorry."

Rishid smiled down at Malik, then looked over Malik's bowed head to Isis. "I want to be with my family. Everything else is just a place."

Malik reached out to touch his sister as well.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Isis asked.

Malik looked a little blank and very young. "I don't know. I guess I thought that… that…"

"That I'd scold first and listen later?" Isis asked.

"That you'd worry," Malik corrected. His smile turned impish. "And if you want to see more of our less dangerous adventures, I recommend the series where we visited every beach mentioned in a pop song. That's when we discovered just how big a fanbase Rishid has! And all it took was putting him in a speedo!"

Rishid mumbled. "It was a dare."

Isis laughed as intended. She also filed away the episode series for future reference, while making a note to herself _not_ to look at the comments.

Yugi had been looking forward to Friday all week. The entire gang was free. They were all meeting at Burger World. It felt a bit like old times, except that Atem and Anzu weren't there. Yugi shook his head. He'd be talking to Anzu later and Atem was where he belonged. He pushed the door open and waved to Bakura who had already claimed a circular table.

"What's up with Jounouchi and Honda? Can they make it?" Bakura asked as Yugi sat down.

"Jounouchi's still at the hospital. He'll be here when he gets off work."

"How does he like it?"

Yugi shrugged. "He says it pays the bills until he can get a professional dueling career going."

"And…" Bakura asked delicately.

"He's won a couple of small tournaments. He's trying to scrape together enough money so he can travel to a big one… something that'll get the attention of a sponsor or advertisers or something."

"Like the ones Kaiba used to throw?"

"Yeah. It'd be great if Kaiba threw another one." Yugi shook his head. He hadn't heard from Kaiba since the day they'd run into each other on campus. He probably should have tried harder to reach out but Yugi hadn't been sure what to say. It had shown in the one email he'd sent, full of determinedly friendly, half-finished sentences. Kaiba hadn't answered. It had been a reminder to Yugi that while he wanted to be Kaiba's friend, he didn't know how.

Bakura nodded and dropped the subject. Neither of them was sure that Kaiba had anything left to duel for, now.

"Honda's always busy, but he just texted. He's on his way," Yugi continued. "He's working for his dad, part time. They're letting him take cop classes, too. They think it's just a phase and he'll come around to working at the factory, but I don't know. I think he's serious." Yugi laughed. "Honda said there had to be at least one cop in Domino who can tell when something fishy is going down."

"Honda's good at being suspicious."

Yugi frowned in thought, then said, "Yeah, he sent me something this morning though, that's kind of weird. Have you seen this?" Yugi pulled out his phone and handed it to Bakura.

There was a text from Honda with a bunch of links. Bakura clicked on them and whistled. Three Domino residents had mysteriously developed amnesia. All were out of Domino at the time. All were duelists.

"It could be a coincidence," Bakura said, like someone who wanted to believe his own words.

"We know that kid," Yugi said, pointing to the teenager in the photo. "He was at Duelists Kingdom. Mokuba stole his star chips. We got them back, but Pegasus kicked him off anyway."

Bakura nodded. "I remember." He shivered. "That was an awful time. They all were back then." Bakura frowned. "Lately, I've had this weird feeling. Like things were out of place, somehow." Bakura shook himself. "Ignore me."

"Oh no! Not you guys, too!" Jounouchi announced as came over to them and pulled the chair next to Yugi closer to the table. "Detective wannabe Honda already talked my ear off about it. Besides those three, there's another two added to the list. They're duelists, too. Nobody famous, not like I'm gonna be. They were at Duelists Kingdom and Battle City, but they lost early. You'd recognize them if you saw them." Jounouchi shook his head. "It's got to be a coincidence, right? I mean the Millennium Items are gone for good, right?"

"Of course they are," Yugi said stoutly, before ruining it and adding, "I hope."

"This is just Honda getting the wind up over nothing. It has to be," Jounouchi insisted.

"Here's Honda! You can ask him yourself," Yugi said, waving as Honda walked in the door.

Honda sat between Jounouchi and Bakura. There was a pause while they ordered, and the server brought their drinks. As soon as she left, Jounouchi asked, "So, how's cop classes going? Arrest anyone yet?"

"Keep laughing, Jounouchi. You're the reason I want to be a cop… so I can lock up delinquents like you."

"Ha! You'd have to be able to take me in a fight, first!" Jounouchi said, wrapping Honda in a headlock. Honda pushed back. They wrestled for a moment until Honda knocked Jounouchi's elbow into Yugi's soda. Yugi jumped up. There was a pause while they cleaned the table. Yugi sat down again as the server brought a fresh drink.

"Sorry, Yugi," Jounouchi and Honda chorused.

Yugi shook his head. "It's fine, I'm getting good at jumping out of the way."

Their food arrived. Jounouchi took a bite, then said, his words slightly muffled by a mouthful of burger, "Okay. What should we do? I mean we can't have weird shit starting up all over again."

"I can check with some of the duelists I've me," Yugi offered.

"I guess I could ask Mai." Jounouchi glared at Honda, who had started making kissing noises. "I got in touch with her about… you know… being a duelist and all. Stop that!" he added, jabbing Honda in the ribs. "I could talk to her about this. See what she thinks. If there's any gossip on the dueling circuit, she'd know."

"That's a great idea!" Yugi said quickly.

Jounouchi took an extra-large bite of his burger. "I still say it's a coincidence. There can't be a freaky duelist disease. It's not like we're legionnaires or anything."

"You might be onto something. Maybe there was some virus going around at some tournament," Yugi said.

"I guess it could be something normal," Honda said. He shook his head. "I don't know, though. It never is, with us."

"Okay, no more talking about creepy occult stuff for the rest of the night, agreed?" Jounouchi said.

"Well, except for the horror movie we're going to see," Bakura pointed out.

Jounouchi wailed, "Don't remind me!"

"That gives me plenty of time to get home and call Anzu. It'll be morning in New York," Yugi said. He pretended he didn't hear Honda start in with the kissing noises again. "I like calling her on Fridays. I get to hear how her week went and her plans for the weekend."

Honda stopped making fish faces. "You want to hear about her going places without you? Yugi, that's the coolest thing you've ever said."

"I like it when she sounds happy. It makes me feel like I'm there with her." Yugi paused. He looked down. "I'd like her to come home after school and want to be with me. But I want her to be happy first." He shrugged. "I guess I just have to hope things will work out the way they're supposed to."

"Atem taught you that, huh?" Jounouchi asked.

"I guess," Yugi said. He pressed his lips tightly together and looked down.

"It's okay to miss him," Jounouchi said. Honda nodded.

"I know," Yugi said, smiling at his friends. "I'm fine, though. Promise."

"Of course you are! You're the best!" Jounouchi said, wrapping his arm around Yugi's shoulders.

It was only when they were walking towards the movies that Jounouchi whistled and said, "So you going to tell Anzu about Honda's conspiracy theories?"

Yugi frowned, then shook his head. "Nope. I don't want to worry her."

Jounouchi whistled. "You know best, buddy… but… uh... this is the kind of thing Anzu might want to know. But hey it's your funeral!"

Honda laughed and nudged Bakura. "Yugi might be braver than we thought! I'd rather face a scary world-ending monster than Anzu if she finds out we've been holding out on her."

Bakura thought about it for a moment, then nodded. If it came down to it, he'd pick the monster as well.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I tried to think of what Malik and Rishid might do after Atem leaves for the Netherworld and their official tomb keeper responsibilities are done. I remembered that Malik was claustrophobic and didn't like the dark, and I tried to think of something that really would give him the feeling of freedom and choice. I also wanted something that was modern and that stressed that Malik had successfully organized an entire criminal enterprise based on trading card theft and counterfeiting. And then I thought about YouTube channels and Instagram models and a lightbulb went off.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	10. Let Memory Live Again

**CHAPTER 10: LET MEMORY LIVE AGAIN**

DENIAL: Memories have been hailed as a blessing and reviled as a curse. One author warns us to leave them in the rear view mirror; another urges us to hug them to our hearts. The Dark Side of Dimensions implies that our memories hold the world together, and yet story after story suggests that they can also tear us apart… when they're not playing tricks on us.

 _MORAL: Is the world we remember the world that was or the world we wanted? The song, "The Way We Were," doesn't provide answers, but it might be on the right track when it asks, "Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line?"_

* * *

Mokuba raced down the hallway and into his brother's office. The message had been brief; his brother had uncovered a potential threat.

"Catch your breath, first," Kaiba said as he nodded towards the monitor covering one wall of his office. Mokuba stared at the ten faces displayed on it. He recognized over half of them from Battle City. According to the captions under the photographs, the rest were from Duelists Kingdom. Mokuba turned to his brother. Kaiba was calm, so the threat couldn't be immediate. "What's up?" Mokuba asked.

"Someone's erased their memories," Kaiba said. "They're all duelists. More specifically, they're all people who either dueled Atem or talked to him, even if the covering was Yugi's. It's the only thing that adds up, the only common link."

Mokuba frowned. "Potential threat is right. This sounds like more of that weird Diva shit. Remember how he kept going on about how our memories were what held the world together or something? But he's in Egypt. I've been keeping tabs on him… you know, just in case."

Kaiba nodded. "Good thinking. So have I." He grinned as he realized that they'd probably hired and paid the same operatives, who had quietly pocketed double the money.

"So, if it's not Diva, then who?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba shook his head. "I don't know. Someone taking a page from his playbook, I guess." He waved a hand at the faces staring back at them from the monitor. "They didn't lose all of their memories." Kaiba paced the room. _"Not like Atem,"_ he thought. "They lost the time from Duelists Kingdom to Battle City. They forgot how to duel, not that any of them were any good at it." Kaiba shrugged. "They might be better off having to start over. My working assumption is that someone is experimenting and these losers were the low hanging fruit. Someone wants people to forget that the pharaoh ever existed." Kaiba frowned and added the next sentence in his head: _"Someone might be coming for him."_

"This is supposed to be over! Why couldn't Atem just stay put?" Mokuba burst out.

Kaiba stared at his brother. "What are you talking about?"

"Think back to Diva. Look at what's happening now. Weird shit goes down every time there's a chance Atem might meddle in this world. I like Atem, Nisama. I do. But maybe Diva had a point. Maybe Atem should take a hint and just stay in his Netherworld and let the rest of us get on with our lives."

"No!" Kaiba yelled.

"Yugi thought it was where he belonged. And Yugi knows him best." Mokuba said stubbornly. He closed his mouth before he could add, _"Better than you do."_

Kaiba crossed his arms in front of his chest. He inhaled sharply and held his breath for a moment before forcing it out with a growl. He glared at his brother. Mokuba took a step back, surprised by the sudden rage in his brother's eyes, as if he'd heard Mokuba's unspoken comment. Mokuba was familiar with his brother's anger, of course. But it had never been directed at him. Not since… not in years. Mokuba shivered, but his brother had already turned away to look out the window.

"For once, Yugi's not the expert. Not in this," Kaiba stated flatly.

Mokuba drew in a breath. "Just think about it. Yugi's moved on. He's happy now. You could be too." Mokuba brushed away the memory of Yugi crying in his shop. That didn't count. It was okay to get sad every now and then. "He's hanging out with his friends. I saw them at Burger World the other day."

"Have you lost your mind? You want me to hang out at Burger World with the nerd herd? That's my idea of punishment not fun!" Kaiba's outraged bellow broke the tension in the room.

Mokuba laughed. "Maybe not," he agreed.

"Whatever's going on, it's dangerous. We have to get to the bottom of it before we can roll out Duel Links. Someone's threatening what's ours. We have to fight back," Kaiba announced.

Mokuba nodded. That was true although they both knew it wasn't the whole story. But Mokuba could recognize an olive branch when he saw one, and now that he was looking more closely at his brother, he could see the faint whiteness around Kaiba's lips, the way he kept grinding his teeth then forcibly stopping himself. Their argument had taken a lot out of him as well. Mokuba's eyes dropped to the locket hanging around his brother's neck, the one he'd started wearing again. "Who do you think it is?" Mokuba asked softly. "It's got to be someone with a Millennium Item."

Kaiba shook his hands as if suddenly aware of how tightly they'd been clenched. "Pegasus and the Ishtars are accounted for," he said, his voice resuming its normal businesslike tones.

"Maybe it's that freak that was popping in and out of the Battle Blimp on the way to Alcatraz. The guy on our security cameras. Shadi, I think his name was," Mokuba suggested.

"Assuming Diva was telling the truth, Shadi's dead," Kaiba observed.

"What does that even mean anymore?" Mokuba asked with a sigh. "According to Diva, Shadi died before Battle City began, but he was running around our Battle Blimp all the same."

"Point taken. I need to email Isis and find out where the remaining Items are. Our first step should be to review the protections I put in place for the Diva affair and modify the duel disks, if necessary. If it really is Shadi, he hasn't attempted to mess with anyone in Domino, which makes me think that the adjustments we made to the crystal cloud for Duel Links might be sufficient to keep him out."

"Are you going to tell Yugi?" Mokuba asked.

"This isn't his business any more. You said it yourself. He's moved on." Kaiba tried to keep the resentment from his voice. He crossed his arms again and snorted. "Besides, he's busy trying to pass calculus."

Mokuba nodded. He didn't ask if his brother was going to reach out to Atem. The last thing he wanted was to give his brother an excuse to try.

As promised, Yugi had contacted all the duelists he knew... with one glaring exception. He'd collected a few more rumors, but no new cases. By mid-week, Yugi had run out of excuses for avoiding the one person who knew everything going on in Domino. But Kaiba was the last person he wanted to talk to about anything that had something to do with Atem.

Seeing Kaiba's grief had re-awakened his own. That had been a good thing, Yugi supposed, but on some days, it had felt like the worst. And now that he was moving on again, now that Atem's grave had settled once more and grass was growing over it, softening the loss, the last thing Yugi wanted to encounter was a bulldozer.

He sighed and headed out, half-hoping that Kaiba would refuse to see him. Then he could go off to school with a clear conscience. But as usual, except when it came to gaming, his luck was out. Upon arrival at Kaiba Corporation, he was ushered into Kaiba's office. Kaiba was seated at his desk. He looked up as Yugi entered the room and grunted.

Yugi stumbled through an explanation of everything he and his friends had learned.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "You can't imagine any of this is news to me."

"Uh… no… I figured you knew."

"So why come to me?"

Yugi shrugged. Kaiba turned back to his desktop monitor. Yugi looked so harmless when he shrugged; he hadn't picked up Atem's knack of turning every gesture into a challenge.

"I don't know…" Yugi said. "I just thought it might have something to do with… you know… with Atem."

Kaiba switched his gaze back to Yugi. His eyes narrowed. "So why come to me?" he repeated.

Yugi shrugged again. This time it was an apology for crossing an unspoken boundary. "I thought I should say something. I was wrong once, telling you at your tournament that Atem was gone, that we weren't going to see him again even if we assembled the Puzzle. I'm not doing that again. If it's about Atem, you should know."

"We don't _know_ anything," Kaiba said.

"The memory stuff sounds like Diva."

Kaiba smirked. "Please, do you think I'm not keeping tabs on him?"

Yugi nodded, accepting Kaiba's assurance.

"I can tell you all the people that it isn't, for all the good that does. It's not Pegasus. It's not the Ishtars either," Kaiba said.

Yugi looked up at Kaiba, startled.

"Malik was in Egypt during the relevant period, but there haven't been any obvious breaks in his routine and none of the victims were in Egypt," Kaiba continued.

"I can't imagine Malik being involved," Yugi said. "Not anymore. Not since Battle City."

Kaiba laughed. "I have experience in that arena. So, believe me when I say that once someone is capable of something, they're always capable of it."

"He's gone in a different direction. So have you."

"Apparently by motorcycle, in Malik's case." Kaiba snorted at Yugi's start of surprise. "Not only is it obvious I've been keeping tabs on him, Mokuba loves his ridiculous show." Kaiba frowned. "Malik killed his father. Don't think I'm criticizing. But the ends of the Earth aren't far enough to run away from some things."

"How about another dimension?" Yugi asked quietly.

"Touché. But I was looking for a victory, not absolution."

"I thought they were the same thing to you."

Kaiba grinned. "Enough trivia. We've ruled out our main suspects."

"If not Diva, it could be his guardian, Shadi."

"Mokuba and I considered that. The main problem is that Shadi's dead."

Yugi swallowed and then said, "So is Atem, but that didn't stop you from going to see him."

"Mokuba doesn't consider it an insurmountable obstacle either," Kaiba conceded. He scowled as he remembered Mokuba insisting that Yugi knew Atem far better than he did. Kaiba stood up. His eyes seemed to bore into and through Yugi. "If all you came by for was to tell me things I already know…"

Yugi nodded. It was the most polite way Kaiba had ever asked him to leave. Yugi turned to exit then reversed course and faced Kaiba again. "I'm a duelist, too. This concerns me as well."

Kaiba got up and paced his office, stopping at the floor to ceiling windows lining one wall. For a moment, Yugi thought Kaiba was going to ignore him. Then Kaiba said, "Diva was wrong. It's not memories, it's energy."

"Huh?" Yugi asked.

"Your brain waves have specific energy signatures. I harnessed that power to run the Duel Links system. It's how I reached the Netherworld. The Cube drew on them as well." Kaiba frowned. He went back to his desk and typed something on his keyboard. "Properly channeled they could probably power a city. I have to look into that when this nonsense is over."

Yugi nodded although he had no idea what Kaiba was talking about. He wondered if anyone did once Kaiba really got going.

"Once I realized what patterns to look for, it was easy to devise a program to guard against unauthorized use and upload it to the crystal cloud." He turned to glare at Yugi. "Domino is my home. Did you think I'd leave anything that was mine, unprotected?"

Yugi nodded again. He'd never understood Kaiba's relationship with the city government. He'd simply accepted it as a mostly benign part of life. "But the people who've been hurt weren't in Domino."

"I revised the Duel Disks. There haven't been any new cases in a couple of days. If it is Shadi, it's reasonable to assume he's rethinking his strategy."

"But you can't be sure. And what about people who aren't duelists?"

"What about them?"

"Like Anzu. She's in New York."

Kaiba frowned, trying to place the name. "You mean the cheerleader at all of your duels? Has high scores on Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade?"

Yugi grinned. "It was the only game that didn't have KAI at the top of the leader board."

Kaiba scowled. "I'm only interested in _real_ games."

Yugi barely managed to keep from asking, _"Afraid you'd lose?"_

Kaiba glared at him anyway.

"Yes, Anzu," Yugi confirmed. "Shadi's hurt her once already."

Kaiba frowned in thought. "I've been working on a portable scrambler, similar to the ones in the updated Duel Disks. I might as well test it on her." He reached in his desk and drew out a small black square. He paused for a moment, then snapped it into a duel monsters charm and tossed it to Yugi.

"Thank you, Kaiba."

"Don't."

"I'm not sure how to tell her to carry it with her without worrying her."

But Kaiba had already turned back to his computer. "Not my problem."

Atem looked around the empty room and growled. Another fruitless journey. He'd been sure Kaiba would come storming in as soon as he'd talked to Mokuba. The only question had been whether Kaiba would come looking for a fight or a kiss. But now days later, one thing was clear: Kaiba was avoiding his own dueling arena.

Atem tapped his foot on the metal floor. He was used to being a pharaoh. He was used to being Yugi's protector. He was even used to saving the world. But these last few weeks with Kaiba had made him feel like a teenager for the first time, all pent up feelings with no way to let them out and no target to aim them at except for Kaiba who wasn't here.

Atem wanted to do some fighting – and maybe some kissing – of his own, if Kaiba ever bothered to show up. Atem paced the room, each stamped footfall echoing on the metal floor. "Fine. Go ahead and sulk, you jackass," he muttered as he headed back to his own realm.

Atem thought he'd recovered his equilibrium on the walk back to the palace, but as soon as he neared the courtyard, Mana said, "Wow! You should see your face! Thunder clouds have looked happier."

Atem laughed.

Mana clapped. "That's better! Wait here a minute. I know what'll complete the cheering up process. Don't you dare move!"

Mana returned to find Atem frozen in place.

He grinned as she approached, then looked at the two leather balls in her hands. "Handball? You've had 3,000 more years of practice!"

"Afraid to lose?"

"So, you think you can win? I'm not so sure about that." Atem looked around. "Where are the rest of the teams?"

"We can play just us," she said, tossing him a ball. "First one to get twelve points, wins. One… two… three… THROW!"

They tossed the balls back and forth simultaneously. The balls flew by faster and faster with each exchange, until only seconds divided catching and throwing. They paused only to record a point when one of them dropped a ball.

"Yes!" Mana yelled, throwing her arms upwards and jumping as Atem dropped his ball for the twelfth time.

Atem hid a frown. Losing was bad enough. He might as well learn to do it gracefully  
(unlike some people.) Mana had earned her victory. But Atem resolved to make time to practice until he'd regained his old mastery of the sport.

"You brought the balls, but forgot to bring something to drink after the game?" Atem asked as they headed into the courtyard. They were both thirsty and sweaty.

"There's beer at the palace," Mana reminded him.

After raiding the storeroom, they sat in the courtyard and watched the sun set. Atem savored the milkshake thickness of his drink with its hints of dates and honey. He marveled at how the single word, "beer," could encompass two such different and yet linked drinks – and how each was perfectly suited to its own time and place.

"It's strange to think that nothing ages here," Atem observed.

"You can be any age you want. Well, any age that you've lived," Mana said.

Atem had always loved Mana's childlike enthusiasm. He'd never realized that it was a choice before.

"So, you…" he started.

"I lived a long, full life."

Atem had died twice. But Mana's words reminded him how little he'd lived. He turned away from the sympathy in Mana's face.

"I helped Seto rebuild Egypt. There was so much to do and so few of us left. But I had to follow through for you and Mahaad and everyone who'd never get the chance to see the world we were creating."

"But if you could be any age, why choose to go backwards?" he asked.

"Because this is when I was happiest," Mana answered.

"But you just said…"

"I'm proud of what we accomplished. But…" she paused and looked out at the peaceful fields in front of her, half hidden as dusk turned to night. "Life was golden before Zorc. The world was magic. I didn't need to imagine paradise. I'd lived it. And I wanted it back. The gods were merciful." She shook her head. "The years after Zorc were good years. But I never forgot. And each day was another day of waiting until I could see you all again. Until I could come home."

For a moment, Mana looked as old as the crone she'd grown into, as tired as the ancient woman who'd outlived all her friends, who'd spent a lifetime mourning them, who'd helped rule a kingdom as an act of atonement for surviving.

"This age is when I was happiest," she repeated.

Atem nodded. The stars had come out while they were talking. They watched them in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the peace of paradise. Atem realized how close he'd come to taking it all for granted in his newly awakened desire for the world he'd left. "I sometimes feel like I have two sets of memories, one for each lifetime." Atem paused, but he needed her to know. "Both have become a part of me."

Mana laid her hand on his and said, "Maybe it's because you loved and were loved in both of them."

Isis strolled through the museum exhibits on her way to her office. She'd set each artifact in place; could recite each one's history. She still paused at her favorites. The museum was closed. But when she reached the room where the objects from Atem's brief reign were displayed, she saw a man at the opposite end. She was about to call for a security guard when she took a closer look. It was Shadi. Isis paused, unsure whether to relax or not.

He turned and smiled at her.

She exhaled and came forward.

"I see you've returned the tablet," Shadi said, nodding towards the large stone carving of the pharaoh and his high priest that hung on the wall opposite him.

"It seemed safer here," Isis said.

"Prudent as always. It eases me to come here… and look at you, to see my old friend reborn and yet so familiar."

Isis inclined her head, pleased with the comparison. It explained her devotion to the past, freed it from all reminders of underground grottos and mutilated children. It freed her father to be someone other than the man he was.

"If I'm my ancestress reborn, what of my brothers?" she asked.

"That's a mystery to me. You've been reborn but Malik has no echo in the past. Just as it is with the High Priest, Seto, and Mokuba."

"I have _two_ brothers," Isis reminded him.

"Do you? There's a difference between a servant and a fostering, between a fostering and a brother. Which did your father name him? Which will you?"

Isis shivered. Like her father, Shadi had ignored Rishid's claims to family. He'd given the Items to her and to Malik, alone. "My father is dead," she said.

"Your father was faithful."

Isis dipped her head but didn't answer. When she was with Malik, she longed for duty and destiny and faith. When she was with Shadi, she wondered if Malik was right.

"Thank you for restoring the Necklace to me." She paused, then admitted, "I haven't used it."

"I know. I'd hoped it would give you some comfort."

She didn't think Shadi would understand, but knowing she had a choice _was_ a comfort. As was knowing that he'd given it to her because he'd seen her confusion and wanted to help. Isis smiled at Shadi. "It has. And thank you for Malik, as well. I think he'd refuse the Rod. But I'm glad he was spared the temptation."

"The Rod is a heavy burden. Perhaps that's why…" Shadi murmured.

"What?" Isis asked.

"The Items chose their wielders. The Rod has ever gravitated towards those too young and unwise to bear the responsibility." Shadi smiled and shrugged slightly instead of adding, _"I have another keeper in mind."_

"I don't understand," Isis said.

"Neither do I, fully. Even after 3,000 years, there's much I'm still learning about the Items. I long for the day when they're permanently at rest."

"As do I.' Isis nodded in farewell and continued to her office. She smiled as she entered and sat at her desk, ready to start her work day.

Shadi watched her leave the room, admiring the grace and power in her stride. Then he turned to survey the stone tablet in front of him, again.

Shadi had given up all hope of the Netherworld. But over the last few days, he'd felt the shock of his actions ripple through it. After three millennia, he'd gotten the gods' attention. All his devotion, all his care, all his plans hadn't been enough. But now, they'd finally noticed their exiled son. He sank to his knees and bowed his head. For the first time he had hope; if he succeeded in returning the pharaoh, if he proved his worth, then maybe he'd be able to rejoin his comrades. Shadi closed his eyes, seeing himself cross the threshold into paradise, greeted by the gods and the pharaoh. He smiled. He'd be rewarded for his faithfulness.

Shadi arose and started to pace. He thought best on his feet. His plan was proceeding too slowly. The pharaoh had left too big a footprint. There were too many memories and the strongest ones were the most heavily guarded.

But maybe Diva had pointed the way, as a good disciple should. Shadi didn't have to erase hundreds of memories… only the ones that mattered the most. There were two paths to success and careful use of the Millennium Items could lead to both. Erasing the memories of children who'd barely met the pharaoh was futile. But erasing the memories of his partner or his rival – that might well deal a fatal blow to the pharaoh's hold on this world. Seto or Yugi's memories would be harder prizes to capture, but ones well worth the attempt.

As for his second path, the Items themselves could lead him to victory. Once he'd tried to follow their guidance; he'd tried to find people worthy of being their bearers. He knew better, now. It didn't matter whether his unwitting tools coveted them for their own selfish desires or tried to use them for justice. Used wisely or wastefully – the Millennium Items would pull the pharaoh back to the world that he seemed unable to ignore. And then it would be time to play a penalty game with the pharaoh and erase his memory of this world forever.

And if the pharaoh forgot, no one else's memories could hold him here. Even if Seto barged into the Netherworld a second time, the pharaoh would look on him with the eyes of a stranger. Seto would not chase after a second rejection. Then the pharaoh would be at peace. Shadi's mission would end and he could finally go home.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** The Ancient Egyptians actually did play some form of handball which seemed to involve teams throwing multiple balls back and forth. I tried to adapt it for my own purposes. I could see Atem being stung by losing. If you count (in both canon and this story) after always winning, Atem has lost three games to Yugi, Kaiba and now, Mana. I could see Atem wondering if he was losing his touch.

I was surprised to read that beer in Ancient Egypt sounded different, especially that it was a thick, sweetened with honey and dates, drink, that possibly had a lower alcohol content. As far as I could tell, there wasn't a drinking age in Ancient Egypt, so I guess there probably wouldn't be one in the Netherworld, either.

We don't know what happened to Mana. She was alive at the end of the battle with Zorc in the Memory World. I like to think that she became part of the pharaoh's council and worked with Set to rebuild. I could see them finding comfort in friendship as they had both suffered such devastating losses.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	11. Learning to Fly

**CHAPTER 11: LEARNING TO FLY**

BARGAINING: Is the Wicked Witch of the West really dead? For me, the answer is, "It depends." Admittedly, that sounds like the start of a metaphysical debate on whether fictional characters can ever truly live or die, but I'm referring to something much simpler.

Are we talking about the F. Baum classic book, or the 1939 Judy Garland movie, or the Broadway musical, Wicked? Doesn't her fate (and whether she has a name) depend on the version? She could be melting in a puddle or streaking off to the western sky.

 _MORAL: As the song says: "Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try I'll never know… it's time to try defying gravity…"_

* * *

Kaiba drummed his fingers on his desk, impatient with his own indecisiveness. He'd convinced himself that Atem was an illusion. Then he'd convinced himself that he was wrong. Now he was out of options.

People left. Kaiba knew that. His mother had died in a hospital before he'd been old enough to fully understand what the word meant. His father had wrapped his car around a tree. Gozaburo had jumped out of a window. Less dramatically, his aunt and uncle had simply walked away. Now, Atem had waltzed in and out, the newest player in a very old game. At least this time, Atem had managed to garble out an excuse, confirming Kaiba's opinion that explanations were overrated.

Logically, Kaiba should have banished the whole sorry affair from his mind, just like Mokuba wanted. He'd tried for a week. Kaiba scowled and pushed his chair back from his desk. He stomped out of his office and down the hall to the elevator, scattering secretaries in his wake. There was only one answer left. He wanted Atem. Kaiba squared his shoulders and entered his holographic dueling arena.

It was empty.

"Atem?" Kaiba called out. He snarled as the cathedral sprang up around him in answer, impatient with its jewel-toned splendor. He turned on his heel to leave, then stopped. Kaiba watched as his holographic Atem was reborn in front of him, unable to resist admiring his own technological genius.

Atem planted his legs shoulder-width apart and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Kaiba smirked in response. He couldn't blame Mokuba for being confused. He chuckled. Maybe it was time to see just how good his solid vision illusion was. Kaiba hesitated a moment, then strode forward. He came to a stop a finger-length away.

"Are you here for a duel?" Atem asked.

"No," Kaiba answered.

Kaiba tilted Atem's face upwards. He leaned down to kiss the hologram. Atem's lips parted with a sigh. Kaiba lifted a hand to tangle in Atem's wild mane of hair, to hold Atem in place as he deepened his kiss.

"Kaiba…" Atem murmured, then, "Seto…" He twined his arms around Kaiba's neck and pressed his body closer to Kaiba's, completely compliant. Kaiba lifted his head and stared into Atem's eyes, admiring their blood wine color.

"Seto…" Atem said again, his voice a mere breath. He tilted his face upwards and glanced at Kaiba out of half-closed eyes, silently asking Kaiba to kiss him again. Atem leaned back, baring his neck, waiting for Kaiba to take control.

Kaiba didn't hesitate. He claimed Atem's lips, more roughly this time, taking full advantage of Atem's pliancy. One hand reached down to fondle Atem's ass, one leg slid between Atem's. Atem moaned in response. Every move, every gesture was wonderfully yielding... slightly, but not cloyingly, submissive.

It was everything Kaiba had thought he wanted. Except it wasn't.

This Atem wasn't pushing Kaiba back against the wall. This Atem wasn't biting him so hard that the marks still showed a week later. This Atem wasn't stripping Kaiba as if staking a claim to every inch of newly revealed skin.

This Atem wasn't real.

Kaiba lifted his head one final time. "End program."

Kaiba stared at the empty room. "Damn him," he snarled. He should have remembered that Atem always played to win. This time he'd done it without even showing up.

Atem walked to the river, resigned to spending the evening the same way he'd spent every evening lately… by trying and failing to see Kaiba. But tonight was different. He could feel it. Even here in the Netherworld, he could sense Kaiba's presence, could almost taste Kaiba's lips on his. He cupped the Puzzle in his hands and followed the trail, followed the very feel of Kaiba to his dueling arena, racing to reach Kaiba in the heart of his domain.

Atem whirled around, scanning the arena. It was empty. "Kaiba?" Atem called out, doubting the evidence of his own eyes. But the room remained stubbornly silent, as annoying as Kaiba himself. Atem frowned and added, knowing he was clutching at straws, "Anybody here looking for a duel?"

Atem tapped his foot and scowled as the cathedral sprang to life around him. The first time he'd seen it, he'd been transfixed by its beauty. Now he was impatient for the charade to end. He waited until his double finished its fiery transformation. "Do you know who I am?" Atem asked.

The other Atem eyed him up and down, then smirked. "You're my duplicate."

Atem snorted and crossed his arms. "I'm your original."

His double raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think so?"

"I didn't come here to trade insults with a hologram. Has Kaiba been here?" Atem's jaw tightened at being forced to try to get information from an avatar of himself.

"You know how this works better than that. Answers are for victors."

"It'll be my pleasure to take you down," Atem growled.

His double chuckled to himself, enjoying a secret joke. "Do you really think you can?"

Atem stared at the smirking figure in front of him. Was he really that insufferable? "It's time to find out. I'm looking forward to handing you your second defeat."

"The mark of a true duelist is the ability to pick oneself up after a loss."

"It is, indeed." Atem smiled. "So, Kaiba remembered my words. They made that deep an impression."

"He called me a hypocrite when we dueled because you went back on those words. I have to reclaim both our honors."

"I never lost my sense of integrity and I will not let a mere hologram – even one designed by my one and only rival – insult me! You know nothing. The same is true of Kaiba."

'There's one way to determine whose truth will prevail," his double said.

"It's time to duel," Atem agreed.

Atem called up the cards from the database. He paused when he saw the Blue Eyes White Dragon. He was tempted to add it but decided he'd wait for Kaiba's permission if that ever came. Besides, he thought with an inward shrug, Kaiba would have designed his avatar to defeat his dragons. Atem finished selecting his hand, feeling the rush of anticipation that came with the start of every duel. Atem needed to win. He needed answers. But he couldn't help feeling like he was standing in his own way.

"Are you ready, Shadow?" Atem snarled.

"I refuse to be reduced to a phantom, even by you. We either face each other as duelists or not at all."

"Well spoken," Atem said, pleased with how well Kaiba knew him.

Atem enjoyed the opening rounds, reveling in the clash of monster against monster, smiling each time his double pulled off a tricky maneuver. Each exchange was evidence of Kaiba's deep regard and respect.

Both of them had the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl in their decks. Neither had been able to draw them. Atem wondered if Mahaad was reluctant to join the fray.

Atem placed Jack's Knight, only to be met by Dimension Reflector in a satisfying explosion. Atem laughed, despite the reduction to his life points, and saluted his duplicate. He turned over Dian Keto the Cure Master, restoring more than half of his life points. He'd known that sooner or later his duplicate would pull a move like this. Atem had played Dimension Reflector himself, in his last duel with Kaiba. This time he'd been ready to see it on the field.

Atem froze. That was the key. His double had just showed him the path to victory. Kaiba had gauged his strategies perfectly; their duelist hearts beat in sync. Atem would trust to that. He now knew every card his duplicate would play. He would use that knowledge to defeat his own doppelganger.

And that was when the game turned in his favor… and became strangely flat.

Now, each exchange reminded him of how much he missed Kaiba's unpredictability, his fire… even his in your face theatrics.

It was a relief to set up his final trap, to watch his opponent's life points drop to zero.

His double stood, staring speechlessly across the field. It took Atem a moment to realize Kaiba hadn't scripted any lines for his avatar if he lost. Had Kaiba found it so impossible to believe that any Atem – even a holographic one – could lose? The silence dragged on. Atem cleared his throat.

The blank looked vanished from his double's face. After a pause, he said, "Well played. What was worth winning a duel to find out?"

"Has Kaiba been here recently?" Atem asked.

"He last accessed this room at 16:43 hours."

"What does that mean in real time?"

"Kaiba left four minutes and sixteen seconds before your arrival."

Atem was torn between relief that Kaiba had come at all and frustration at the nearness of the miss. "So, I did feel his presence here. He _was_ thinking of me."

"Do you want me to playback his visit?"

Every fiber of Atem's being screamed "yes," except for his conscience. "No," he answered.

"You were a worthy opponent," the double said.

"As were you," Atem answered.

His double frowned. "Duels are about truth. But you asked for information. Is that all you want?"

Atem frowned in thought. "I suppose the truth I want is the truth of Seto Kaiba… whether he believes in me… whether he believes at all."

His double smirked. "Then you wasted a duel. I'm disappointed in you, asking for answers you already know."

A day later, Mokuba was in his office reviewing the schedule for the projected Duel Links upload. He caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye and looked up. His eyes widened as he identified the figure standing by the door that hadn't opened. Mokuba had never met Shadi but he'd heard enough about him and he'd seen the feeds from the Battle Blimp. Mokuba stood up and faced the intruder. "We know that you're the one behind these mysterious amnesia cases."

Shadi held up his hands. They were empty. "I simply want to talk to you."

Mokuba snorted. "Yeah, right. You decided to pop into our corporate headquarters without bothering with elevators or doors because you felt like a chat. If you take one more step… hell, if you twitch wrong, this room will be flooded with Kaiba Corporation security guards – and all of them have the technology we invented when we fought Diva."

"Then I'll disappear."

"That's kind of the point. It's not like anyone here wants you to stick around."

Shadi raised his hands higher, palms still out. "If you call your guards, you'll miss hearing what I came to say."

"Sounds like a fair trade to me."

"And yet, you're not calling for help," Shadi observed.

Mokuba frowned. "You've got five minutes. I'll bite. Why me? Why aren't you at the Kame Game Shop?"

"Because every time Yugi thinks of Atem, he dutifully puts those thoughts away. Yugi is not tempting the pharaoh to upset the natural order."

Mokuba crossed his arms in front of his chest in imitation of his brother. "If you think that Yugi won't be calling for help the minute any more people wind up zombified, you're even dumber than you look."

Shadi hid his smile. It seemed that the cub had the same fault as his older brother. Both had an eagerness to underestimate everyone's intelligence but their own. Mokuba was so sure that he'd seen the flaw in Shadi's plan, it never occurred to him that he was viewing the second arrow notched to Shadi's bow.

"Besides," Shadi said, "I think it would be much more difficult to just pop in, as you put it, anywhere but here. Your brother's surveillance system is admirably comprehensive. I'm sure it could identify me instantly. But in the center of his seat of power… if there was a place where the need for privacy would overtake wariness, it would be here."

"You think you know him?"

"I think I have the advantage of having known Seto 3,000 years ago."

"You have three and a half minutes left. And you're nuts if you think we don't have security here as well."

"You could override it if you wanted."

Mokuba snorted. "And why would I want to do that?"

Shadi shifted his feet. Every time he saw Mokuba, he was overwhelmed with the sense that this child should not exist, that even in this new life, his old comrade should not have a brother. Perhaps this was the boy's purpose: to give his brother the gift of forgetfulness.

"You know what I can do. I can erase memories. And I know what you want… the brother from the orphanage back, before he was burdened by his memories of your adoptive father, of the pharaoh's penalty games… it could be as if Death-T had never happened."

Mokuba frowned. "I saw how you erase memories. There are people in the hospital because of you! And you think that's what I want for my brother?"

"How would I be different from the pharaoh in that regard?"

"Like I should trust you instead," Mokuba muttered.

"You don't need to." Shadi held up an oblong wrapped object. "The Rod has spoken to me. Like the Key, it can help you enter your brother's mind. It helped him once, in his duel with Isis, by showing him memories of his ancient past. Now you can help by taking away more recent ones."

"You're crazy! I'm not fucking with my brother's head! Enough people have done that already."

"But have any done so out of love?"

"You must think I'm dumb. But I learned from the best. If this was on the level, you would be going to my brother, not me."

"We both know how stubborn your brother is, how tightly he holds onto both the good and the bad. And we know which of you values his life more. You know he'll never stop chasing the pharaoh. You know how dangerous it is. The pharaoh will be shocked and saddened by his inevitable death, but you are the only one who can prevent it. Trust yourself and your instincts. Trust your love."

"Your time is up. Get out!" Mokuba yelled. It wasn't quite true; there was almost a minute left. But Mokuba needed to get rid of Shadi before his arguments started to make sense.

Shadi held up his hands again; one was still holding the wrapped Rod. "Don't worry. I'm leaving… for now. I'll be back after you've had time to weigh your answer. For your brother's sake, consider my offer carefully." He bowed. "Good fortune, my young friend, until we talk again." Shadi and the Rod vanished before Mokuba could react.

Shadi hadn't expected to win Mokuba over with one visit. He'd planted a seed. Mokuba hadn't called for security. They had a secret. Shadi was willing to settle for what he'd achieved, at least for now. And while he waited for Mokuba to become his ally in adjusting Seto's memories, Shadi had other visits to make, other paths to pursue. As Diva's attempt had proved, use of the Items would draw the pharaoh here, eager for another shadow game. It was time to revisit an old friend.

Mokuba frowned at the empty space where Shadi had stood. He couldn't tell his brother, not yet anyway. But he couldn't go back to work like nothing had happened. Mokuba gave a quick nod, deleted the evidence of Shadi's presence, called Isono, and left the building.

Yugi looked up as Mokuba entered the Kame Game Shop. He wandered aimlessly around the small store. Yugi waved to Mokuba, but the boy didn't respond.

"Back for another booster pack?" Yugi asked.

"What? Oh, yeah, sure," Mokuba answered. He picked a pack at random and brought it to the counter.

"Still sticking with your branding?" Yugi asked, nodding towards Mokuba's white suit.

"I guess. I'm not sure though if it's right for me." Mokuba frowned. "I should know, shouldn't I? My brother knew his brand right from the start."

"It's okay not to be someone else," Yugi offered, straightening his own button-down shirt.

"But what if he's wrong? What if it's not really his brand? What if he could have a different one and he's sticking to this out of stubbornness?"

"I thought stubbornness _was_ part of Kaiba's brand," Yugi said with a smile.

"What if it didn't have to be? What if none of it had to be the way it is?"

"I don't understand," Yugi admitted.

Mokuba nodded. "Yeah. Me neither." He paused, then said in a rush, "Can I ask you something? Are the Millennium Items evil? Like always evil?"

"No! Of course not! Atem wasn't evil, and neither was the Puzzle, no matter what Pegasus or the Spirit of the Ring said about them."

"Atem caused a lot of trouble though."

"No, he didn't." Yugi lifted his chin. "You know he was always willing to help you. He never thought about the cost, all he saw was people in trouble. He was like that, right up to the minute he left. He even came back here because we needed him." Yugi's lips twisted. "Trouble seemed to follow him around, though."

Mokuba nodded. Trouble seemed to follow his brother around too. "I wasn't knocking Atem, not really. I know we owe him. I miss him, too. He cared about us. I wish he was here. But he's not and my brother's… stuck. I just want Nisama to be happy."

Yugi put his hand on Mokuba's arm. "I know. Even now, something will remind me of Atem and I'll be sad all over again. It's hard."

"It's all so confusing," Mokuba wailed. He paused, wiped his nose with his sleeve and said, "Anyway, even if the Puzzle is okay, what about the other items like the Ring or the Rod? The Rod's bad news, right?"

Yugi lifted his shoulders and them dropped them. "I'm not sure. I mean when Bakura had the Ring, it had this evil spirit in it. But the first holder of the Ring was Mahaad, and he was Atem's best friend. According to Atem, Mahaad was the greatest. He fought against Zorc and became the Black Magician just so he could keep looking after Atem. And yeah, the Rod was a horror show in Malik's hands. But Seto, the one in Ancient Egypt I mean, he had the Rod first. And Atem left the whole country to him. That's gotta mean something."

Mokuba broke into a wide smile. "That's awesome! I knew I did the right thing coming here! Thanks! Gotta go. Isono's waiting outside with the limo!"

Yugi stared at him, hopelessly bewildered. "No problem, I guess. Glad I could help," he said to Mokuba's back as the boy raced out the door.

Mokuba bounced into the front seat of the limousine, still holding his booster pack.

"Did you have a good visit?" Isono asked. Mokuba had been silent on the drive over. He'd shuffled to the Kame Game Shop's door. Now he was grinning from ear to ear.

"You bet!" Mokuba said. He looked at Isono out of the corner of his eye. Isono knew his brother better than almost anyone. "Hey, Isono… you've seen a whole bunch of Millennium Item stuff, right?"

Isono shuddered. "And I hope I never see them again."

Mokuba frowned. "Do you think they're evil? Like they make people do bad things?"

"Why are you asking?"

Mokuba shrugged. "No reason. I was just wondering."

Isono frowned. "I don't know. People have used them for evil, but that's true for any kind of power. Money, status, position… they can all be used for bad reasons."

"Like my adoptive father?" Mokuba asked.

Isono nodded. "He certainly didn't need a Millennium Item to cause death and suffering."

"But what if you want those things – like power or even Millennium Items – for good reasons?" Mokuba asked.

"Having good intentions helps, certainly. But unfortunately, starting well is no guarantee of ending well."

Mokuba didn't ask who Isono was talking about. He knew that they were both thinking of his brother. And Mokuba had to ask himself: was he any wiser than his Nisama?

Atem was sitting by the river with Mahaad when Horakhty appeared. Mahaad dropped to the ground and lay prone, stealing glances at her. "Goddess," he murmured.

Horakhty smiled down on him.

Atem looked up at her in concern. He was used to seeing her at dawn, not towards sunset.

Horakhty nodded solemnly. "We have grave news. It concerns you as our representative in both worlds."

"What's happened? Are my friends in danger?" Atem asked.

"The remaining Millennium Items are awake again. Without the Puzzle, their power can run unchecked." She quickly outlined the events.

Atem stared at her. How had he missed something so important? He frowned, putting the pieces together. Over the past week, he and Kaiba had, with horribly comic timing, kept missing each other, once by mere minutes. So little time to have missed so much. "Who would do such a thing? How were the Items unearthed?" he asked.

"When the High Priest…"

"Seto Kaiba?" Atem blurted out.

Horakhty nodded and then continued as if Atem hadn't interrupted. "... excavated the Puzzle, he left the remaining items exposed."

Atem rolled his eyes. "Of course he did."

Horakhty continued, "As you know, the Ring is gone. Now Shadi has the rest. The world outside may not remember us, but it is still in our care. And through the distorted mirror that is the game you love, we live again." She shook her head, sadly. "Shadi is trying to undo the ties that bind the dimensions together. He must not succeed. Neither world was meant to live alone."

"Why is Shadi doing this?" Atem asked.

Horakhty shook her head. "We granted him the strength to see his mission to its completion. But it took too long and he dissolved too far into it. He got lost along the way."

"His mission?" Atem had to admit he'd never understood Shadi's agenda.

"To see you to the Netherworld and at peace."

"I don't understand. His mission ended with the Ceremonial Duel. I'm here. I'm…" The blood drained from Atem's face. Had his own restlessness caused this?

"When you came here, we thought Shadi would follow. But there was too little of him left for us to hold on to or draw him home." She sighed. "And yet, it seems that he could not let go. When you crossed the barrier between worlds, something in Shadi – his sense of mission, perhaps – awoke to a new and twisted life."

Atem looked around wildly, but all he could see was his own guilt. "This is all my fault," he whispered.

"' _All'_ is too large a word for any human, even a pharaoh."

Atem drew in a breath, oddly comforted. He drew in another, but it caught in his throat. Were his friends in danger? "I have to go back! I have to help!" he cried.

"Is that the only reason you want to return? To help in a time of need? Answer carefully."

"Yes! No!" Atem said, ignoring her instructions.

Horakhty raised an eyebrow.

Atem sighed. "My friends are in trouble. I need to be there. I can't think of anything until they're safe."

"So be it. We have long thought to give you a gift. We will delay a little longer."

"I don't understand," Atem said.

"You don't need to… yet. But the gods do not have infinite patience."

Atem shook his head impatiently, not understanding why Horakhty was wasting time talking of gifts and gods. "What about my friends? How can I help them?" Atem held the Puzzle in his hands. "If the Puzzle is here, how can Yugi call me if he needs me?"

"You've grown more than you realize. Humans are prisoners of their dimensions. Travel between them is the province of the gods… or those favored by them." She covered Atem's hands with her own as he cupped the Puzzle. He felt her power flow through him like a living thing, as buoyant and quicksilver as water… and as impossible to hold.

"You already know how to use the Puzzle. Your shared belief with Seto Kaiba created a portal and a sanctuary where both worlds cross. You know the route. You've travelled it many times. Now, with our grace, you'll be able to step outside that space and walk the Earth once more until this situation is resolved. But be careful. The next time we meet will be your last chance to decide what you want. Choose wisely."

Mahaad waited until all traces of Horakhty had vanished before getting up.

Atem walked over to him, reached up and put his hands on Mahaad's shoulders. "I'll miss you while I'm away," he said.

"You miss them as well. They are as real to you as we are," Mahaad said slowly, as though speaking the words would help him to accept them. "It's not just about responsibility and obligation."

"It's also a pleasure," Atem confirmed. He paused, buying some time to marshal his words. "I had a life there. I didn't realize how strongly I was tied to it." Atem tightened his hands on Mahaad's shoulders. "Never doubt that coming here was one of the greatest joys of my life." He shook his head. "But I have to make sure they're okay. It'll be bitter to draw your card in a duel, to see you as a hologram, knowing I can't reach out and touch you as I'm doing right now."

"Just remember that I'll always be at your side," Mahaad said.

Atem smiled shyly. "Is it okay for your pharaoh to admit he's been an ass for taking your loyalty and friendship for granted far too often?"

"Of course, it is not permissible for a pharaoh to admit any such thing! But for a friend…" Mahaad smirked. It was a look he'd never turned on Atem before.

Atem hugged him, burying his face in Mahaad's broad chest. He jumped when he heard Mana's voice behind him.

"You are so stupid. I should be so mad at you," Mana said.

Atem wondered where she'd been hiding. "Are you?" he asked.

"I don't know, yet."

"I won't be away long. Not like before. But I have to go back, Mana," Atem said.

"And you want to."

"And I want to," Atem confirmed.

"That's what you were trying to tell me the other day, wasn't it?" Mana asked. "Not just that you had two lives, but that both matter."

"Yes."

Mana smiled at the gentleness in the softly spoken word. "Just promise to return."

"Gladly. This is my home. Never doubt that."

Mana grinned. 'I won't if you won't either."

Atem held out a hand. "Deal."

Mahaad put his hand over theirs. "Hurry back," he said softly. "We'll be waiting."

Mahaad glanced at Mana. She nodded back. Mahaad put his arm across Mana's shoulders as they headed home. Atem watched until they were out of sight.

Atem sighed and sat down, cupping the Puzzle in his hands. He concentrated on returning to Earth, on fully being part of it in a way that had never been possible before. He opened his eyes in Kaiba's dueling arena. He walked to the door, ready to see if he could cross the room's boundary. Mokuba had told him to barge in on Kaiba's office. He laughed, remembering Kaiba gate-crashing his throne room. It was time to return the favor. The elation he'd felt with each duel, with each time he was called to action, swept through Atem. He opened the door and stepped over the threshold, his footsteps becoming firmer as he walked down the hallway.

* * *

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 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** "Leave it to Beaver" was a 1950s sitcom of the wife-wears-pearls-to-vacuum variety. It revolved around the Cleaver family, particularly the youngest son, nicknamed "Beaver". (Yeah, I don't get the nickname either.) Anyway, in each episode Beaver, who was in 2nd grade, was presented with an ethical dilemma. He'd go to his father, except instead of explaining in detail, he'd ask a vague question like, "Is it okay to lie?" His father would, of course, offer some general platitude in response, like "You should always tell the truth," which Beaver would apply with absolutely disastrous results. At the end of the episode, father and son would try to untangle what went wrong, which inevitably had Beaver saying, "But you said…"

The only reason I'm telling this story is that I loved being able to write that scenario myself, with Mokuba going to Yugi and asking "Are the Millennium Items bad?" and getting the worst answer possible, since his question really was, "Do you think it would be okay to use a Millennium Item to erase my brother's memory?"

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	12. Charmed Lives

**MANGA NOTE:** In the pre-movie manga, "Transcend Game," Kaiba learns that it's possible to throw your consciousness beyond dimensions. In his first attempt, he sees Atem and presses onwards, running the very real risk of dying, until Mokuba (with a possible assist from the Blue Eyes White Dragon) stops the experiment.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 12: CHARMED LIVES**

BARGAINING: It makes sense that a story involving "Charmed" witches, their heavenly guardians and demonic enemies (and sometime) lovers would blur the lines between life and death and life again. "Charmed" jumped over them with a cheerfully oblivious… well… charm. At one point the heavenly guardian is updating the demon-turned-boyfriend on the events he missed while dead. And the demon replies: "Which time?"

 _MORAL: There's a time for metaphysical debate… and a time for putting philosophy aside in favor of dealing with the situation at hand._

* * *

Kaiba had once told Mokuba that denying your feelings was the key to happiness. He'd been eight. Even then, he'd known that emotions were a distraction. They made it harder to think and plan and scheme. They were a luxury he couldn't afford.

The solution had seemed so simple back then. He'd shoved his feelings underground any time they'd reared their heads, until he'd turned his life into an endless game of whack-a-mole. No strategy required, just endless vigilance.

Until Atem.

Atem had come roaring through his life, making Kaiba question everything and his own isolation most of all, forcing him to face just how much he cared.

And then, Atem had left.

But by then, it was too late. The moles had won. They'd escaped to rampage through Kaiba's mind, trampling everything in their path in their heedless race for freedom. He'd barely stood upright in the days that had followed Atem's departure. Kaiba had reached a crossroads and he knew it. Kaiba could have rounded them up, like the vermin they were, shoved them back into their underground prison and beaten them more ferociously than ever before, until they'd never dare to look up again.

Except he couldn't.

Atem had made Kaiba believe that the road to his future wasn't the barren, rocky path he'd envisioned. Atem had made him believe that his feelings mattered. That _he_ mattered. Kaiba had ended up rebuilding his life around the vague idea that there was some undefinable _more_ out there, that he was capable of finding it and that connection was the key. And going back on that would have been an even bigger betrayal than Atem's.

Kaiba had chosen to go forward instead… to pursue those feelings, that sense of bonding, even if it led him right out of his own dimension. He'd done everything he'd set out to do and none of it had been enough.

Kaiba drummed his fingers on his desk. This went beyond emotion, beyond his traditional measurements of strength and weakness. His raw need to see Atem again owned him in a way nothing had before. Atem might be in danger. He might actually have traveled dimensions just to see Kaiba again. And here Kaiba was, retreating when he should be pressing forwards, when he should be grabbing Atem and demanding answers, when he should be grabbing Atem, period.

Kaiba pushed back from his desk, and strode out of his office, heading for his computer lab. Kaiba paused at the elevator, then drew in a breath and went down to the basement level. He got out and froze, standing stock still, staring wide-eyed at the regal figure in the hallway. His holograms could do many things, but walking around on their own wasn't one of them.

Atem was in Kaiba's basement. He'd come back for real.

A grin threatened to split Kaiba's face in half. He wrapped his arms across his torso, hugging his sides. For once the gesture wasn't threatening, or even defensive; it was an inexpert attempt to hold on to his own happiness.

Then, Kaiba gave Atem a second, more searching look. Atem's eyes were down; he hadn't seen Kaiba yet. His expression was serious, grim even. Kaiba's face hardened. Atem might have come back, but he hadn't done it for Kaiba. Atem was striding forward, his steps firm, every inch a pharaoh on a mission.

Kaiba snarled. Atem looked up at the sound. For a second his eyes lit up; he started to smile at the sight of Kaiba in his Battle City outfit, the one he'd worn when he'd marched into Atem's throne room and faced him down… the one with the black shirt that traced the contours of his newer, harder body...

"Let me guess. You're here to save the world. You're not here to see me," Kaiba said harshly, scattering Atem's thoughts.

Atem hesitated. He'd wanted to see Kaiba desperately, had held onto him through dreams, had managed to cross dimensions to find him again. And now that they were finally face to face, Atem had a mission, and that took priority over Kaiba's needs or even his own. And yet, how could Atem say he wasn't here for Kaiba when all he could think about was kissing him again?

Atem's pause lasted too long.

Kaiba's bitter laughter broke the silence. "Of course you aren't."

"It's not that simple," Atem protested.

Kaiba snorted. "Yes, it is. You're back for all kinds of noble reasons which you're going to tell me about at great length. Why me? Why not just pop into Yugi's room?"

"I couldn't," Atem said without thinking, too caught up in the rage and hurt on Kaiba's face, too bemused by the way their roles seemed to have shifted. "Yugi was focused on moving on. He wasn't searching for me. You were. It created a path I could follow back." Atem groaned as soon as the words left his mouth, knowing he'd said the most disastrous thing possible. He didn't have long to wait for Kaiba's reaction.

A muscle jumped in Kaiba's cheek. He unclenched his jaw long enough to hiss, "You used me as your conduit to _Yugi?_ "

"Kaiba… no…" Atem's eyes widened in horror. He drew in a breath and tried again. "You know what's going on… duelists are losing their memories… the Millennium Items are alive again..."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Here comes the lecture. It's my duty to help you before you disappear again. Let's skip the middle step. Get out. Now!"

"Kaiba… stop and listen..."

"No! The only thing I want from you is the sight of your back as you leave my building."

Atem dropped his head. He stepped forward, then stopped when he reached Kaiba. They were face to face. Atem couldn't leave, not like this, not when Kaiba was looking so angry and vulnerable and beautiful. And Atem suddenly realized, he wasn't sure he had anywhere to go once his feet hit the sidewalk outside. He didn't even have pockets, much less money to put in them. Yugi was the obvious answer, but Yugi had told him that he was moving on; he had stressed that he was fine. Atem wanted to see Yugi with all his heart, but not without warning, not at the cost of Yugi's peace of mind. Atem glanced at Kaiba.

Kaiba looked down into Atem's face, reading its indecision. He smirked. "Let me guess… you have nowhere to go."

"Don't be ridiculous! You know Yugi would welcome me!"

Kaiba's lip curled. "But…?"

"I haven't seen Yugi, yet."

Kaiba crossed his arms in front of his chest. His face shut down even further. "Are you trying to tell me that you came to see _me_ before Yugi? Do you think I'd believe anything so ridiculous? The sky would fall in first."

"It's true. We both needed time and space. He's happy, now. He's adjusted to being on his own. How many more times am I going to force him to say goodbye to me? The last thing I want is to complicate his life. I'm not even sure how much Sugoroku knows." Atem shook his head. "We never discussed it."

"Of course, you wouldn't want to burden _Yugi_ ," Kaiba sneered. "Heaven forbid you don't take _his_ feelings into account."

"And I hoped that despite everything, you'd be happy to see me," Atem admitted.

"Bullshit! You thought I'd be useful."

"I knew you'd help, no matter what. You'd never let someone defile the game. But that's not why I came to you first and gave you the chance to throw me out."

Kaiba grunted.

Atem smiled. "It's good to see you, too."

"It's good to have me doing what you want, you mean," Kaiba snapped, unwilling to let his anger go. "Don't insult me by pretending otherwise."

"Enough! I would never stoop to manipulation… and certainly not of your feelings! I don't need a mission to want to see you."

Kaiba's eyes gleamed. All it would take was a few carefully chosen, contemptuous words, and Atem would know what it felt like to be utterly rejected, to have whatever hopes you'd begun to form shattered before they could take shape, to understand, with car crash finality, that you'd lost something both precious and irreplaceable.

It would be just. It would be final.

"As far as we can tell, the amnesia cases started over a week ago," Kaiba said instead, retreating to safer ground. "They've stopped now. Our surmise is that it's more of Shadi's work."

Atem nodded, accepting the change of subject. "Horakhty said so as well."

"Who?"

Atem pressed his lips together for a moment. "A goddess from the Netherworld. We can argue about her existence later. Right now, we have to work together to stop Shadi."

"We?"

"You, I hope." Atem looked Kaiba in the eye and added, "And Yugi."

Kaiba snorted. "I better get you a limousine then. Although it might be fun to see you running around Domino in that get-up."

Atem raised an eyebrow, then pivoted on his heel, making the skirt on his tunic flare out. "Maybe I'll set a new fashion."

Kaiba eyed Atem from head to toe, taking in the gold breastplate, purple cape and white and blue tunic. Kaiba paused at the short hemline, then surveyed the toned legs beneath before moving back to Atem's muscular arms. On Atem, the whole ridiculous outfit looked regal and damnably desirable.

"I'd like to come back after I've seen Yugi," Atem said quietly.

Kaiba's eyes opened to their widest. It was a look rarely seen outside of one of their duels. "What?"

"If you want to know what I'd hoped… it was that after you were done shouting, we could talk."

"What do you want to say?"

"I'm not sure. Anything, I suppose, knowing you were listening. This is all so new to me… having my own body, knowing it's mine. I'd always defined my life by its absences, measured it by all that was missing. I had to learn to want, to ask myself questions and figure out the answers. I had to leave this world to learn how to live in it."

Kaiba raised an eyebrow, smiling to himself. Atem was truly unique. For all of Kaiba's efforts, for all of his genius, he could never have programed an avatar capable of putting that string of words together.

"And now I'm here. Yes, I have a mission. But that's no longer the only thing I see." Atem took a step forward, leaned up and kissed Kaiba lightly on the lips.

Kaiba pulled back. "Do you really think you can pacify me with such a cheap trick?" But as harsh as his words were, his voice had softened into the tones of a man who wanted to be convinced.

Atem reached up to caress Kaiba's cheek. "You know better. I've been dreaming of you… reaching out to you since our duel. I wish that the outside world didn't matter. But life drives us as it will."

Kaiba's lips quirked upwards. "I thought you had chosen to walk away from life."

Atem sighed. "And then there's that. But believe me, being here with you… this is the opposite of death."

Kaiba wasn't ready to be comforted, but he wasn't willing to leap into the fight again. He suddenly felt tired. He drew in a breath and busied himself with his phone, arranging for Isono to drive Atem, letting Yugi and Mokuba know that an unexpected visitor had arrived. Kaiba and Atem waited for the elevator and went upstairs.

Mokuba met them when the elevator arrived at their floor.

"Don't worry, Nisama," Mokuba said in greeting. "I've got everything covered. I can take Atem to the limo. Isono's waiting. I brought a phone for Atem to use. It's already set up for him."

Kaiba nodded and exited. He should say something, he supposed, but he had no words left. It had been hard enough riding upstairs, enclosed with Atem in the small elevator cabin. He waited silently until the elevator door closed and continued down the hallway, his footsteps faster and faster the further he got from Atem, as though he was running an obstacle course and his office was the finish line.

Mokuba tossed the cell phone to Atem and reviewed the icons on it. Mokuba stared at the closed door as the elevator headed to the lobby. "So, you're here to save the world, again?" he asked, frowning.

"Yes. That's not a bad thing, you know."

Mokuba grunted. "I guess. It's not my business." Mokuba drew himself up to his full height and stuck out his chin. "My brother is my business."

"What if I said that he was my business as well?"

"I'd say that your business is already pretty diversified and a family company like ours should always be wary of outsiders who want to butt in."

Atem raised an eyebrow. He decided it was time to push back a little. "So, you're protecting your investment?"

"He trusted you. And you tossed him aside like a broken toy on your march towards the afterlife. And now you're going to tell me why everything is more important than him, like I'm supposed to agree. I'm trying to make sure he stays alive!" Mokuba yelled.

"I want that too," Atem insisted.

"I'm sure it's somewhere on your list of priorities, but it's the most important thing in the world to me."

"Stop it, Mokuba! Yes, I care about Yugi and my friends and even about saving the world. But that doesn't mean your brother's just an incidental item that I get to when I'm bored. Don't you dare to pretend to believe such a thing! You know that's not true. I've proven that over and over."

Mokuba's eyes dropped. He frowned. His lower lip trembled before he got it under control. The elevator reached the ground, but before the doors opened, Mokuba pressed "Stop."

"Mokuba, what's going on?" Atem asked.

"Nisama disappeared! I didn't know if he was ever coming back. And no one thinks that's a big deal!"

"Mokuba, he was fine. He wasn't in any danger. I would have made sure he returned safely to you."

"My brother nearly killed himself trying to get to you and I don't think you're worth it!"

Atem looked puzzled. "No, he didn't. I promise. He was fine when he was in the Netherworld. I was with him the whole time."

"What about the first time?"

"What are you talking about?" Atem asked.

"You weren't there for the failed attempts!"

Atem stepped forward and grabbed Mokuba by the shoulders. "Mokuba, what happened? What don't I know?"

"I'm not sure. It was while he was creating the Duel Links system. He tested it out. He said he could project his consciousness past this world." Mokuba shook his head. "Nisama didn't really talk about it afterwards. That girl, Sera, Diva's sister, was there. Nisama saw you. He tried to follow you. _He almost died!_ "

Atem drew in a breath. "I had no idea." He shook his head. "I should have known. So that's what happened…"

"What?" Mokuba asked. "You know something?"

"Shortly before the tournament… I was alone by the river, and I felt your brother, as if he was there with me. I tried to find him. For a moment I felt like I'd left the Netherworld… I was somewhere else, surrounded by a fog. I thought I saw him, standing in front of me. I was afraid… no living being should have been in that place. Before I could move, Kaiba disappeared in a flash of blinding light, like a blast from the Blue Eyes White Dragon. When I opened my eyes, I was back in the Netherworld, still sitting by the river. I thought it had been a dream."

"It wasn't," Mokuba said, but his voice was quieter now.

"How can he be so reckless! After everything, how can he still be so ready to throw away his life chip? He could have died!" Atem shouted, starting to get angry, months after the fact.

"You know why. He would have done anything – risked anything – to find you."

"Mokuba, believe me. I'm not here to hurt him."

Mokuba shook his head, sadly. He opened the elevator door. "But you're going to all the same."

Atem walked out of the building and went to the limousine waiting at the curb. Isono rolled down his window. His mouth dropped open. Even after years of working for the Kaibas, the sight of Atem, decked out like he'd just stepped off of the carvings on a pyramid wall, was enough to make Isono lose his poker face.

The door to the back seat unlocked with a click as Atem neared the limousine. Atem opened it and glanced at the dark, cavernous space. He shuddered. "Can I sit in the front seat?"

"As you wish, sir," Isono said. His voice had recovered its impersonal, businesslike tones, although he still looked startled.

"You must be surprised to see me," Atem said as he slid into the car seat.

"Extremely surprised, sir," Isono said.

It was hard to tell if Isono was joking.

They rode in silence for a few minutes. Atem shook his head and scowled at the dashboard. Kaiba had almost died trying to find him and Atem hadn't even known. Atem turned to Isono. "I didn't realize that Kaiba had tried to reach me before."

"You would have to bring that up with Mr. Kaiba."

Atem was used to his friends being wary of Kaiba, of the way they watched his every move for signs of danger. It had never occurred to him that Kaiba's friends and family felt the same way about him. "It's been a while since we saw each other," Atem said.

"Indeed." Isono cleared his throat, and then asked, "Are you planning on a long stay or will this be a brief visit?"

Atem wondered if he was asking on Kaiba's behalf. He glanced at Isono, but his face and voice were now composed to the point of invisibility. "I don't know. I've been given the power to stay here until the current threat has been dealt with. I'm not sure what will happen after that. The Netherworld is my home." Atem paused. He pulled out his cell phone. "Kaiba gave me this. How much notice does Kaiba Corporation need when I'm ready to leave before sending a car? I assume you'll be off work by then."

Isono's mouth dropped open again. "You're not staying in your old home?"

"No. I'm returning to the mansion after I see Yugi."

"Tap on the icon with the car on it. No notice is required."

Atem nodded. "Thank you for driving me," Atem said as they pulled up to the Kame Game Shop. Yugi was waiting outside.

As Atem opened the car door, Isono cleared his throat again and said, "It was my pleasure. Welcome back, sir."

Isono watched as Yugi took a hesitant step forward. A grin lit up Yugi's face. Isono hoped Atem remembered his promise to return. He sighed and turned the car around. Unless he'd misjudged things, he had a boss to get back to.

Kaiba had headed straight for his office, slamming the door behind him. Once inside his sanctuary, Kaiba tried to focus on work, but he ended up vibrating in place, his hands, for once, unsteady on his keyboard. Kaiba took a deep breath and forced himself to remain seated.

He shuffled the papers on his desk, getting angrier and angrier over all the things he'd left unsaid, his rage building at how easily Atem had pacified him, at how eagerly he'd accepted Atem's words… at how desperately he'd wanted to believe in a world where he could talk to Atem even if they weren't dueling, where Atem kissed him, where Atem caressed him… where Atem cared.

But the world didn't work like that. _His_ world didn't work like that. Atem was here to save the day and Kaiba was a side-show in his grand plans.

Kaiba glanced up as Isono entered the room and reported that Atem had been safely delivered. But instead of bowing and leaving, Isono bowed and stayed, managing to be deferential without totally fading into the background. Kaiba sat and stared at nothing. He didn't bother acknowledging Isono's presence beyond a brief nod.

But it helped.

Kaiba frowned. He couldn't put his finger on why the sight of Isono puttering around, straightening an already perfectly aligned picture frame, or running a handkerchief over an immaculate glass statue of a Blue Eyes White Dragon was relaxing… or what to do with the knowledge.

"I don't know what to believe," Kaiba muttered.

"New information does that," Isono answered.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. Isono took that as a sign to continue. "Surely it's not a bad thing to occasionally re-examine your beliefs? Or even to ask if they bring pleasure, if they hold you back or push you forwards? Maybe a periodic re-alignment is as necessary for organic systems as it is for mechanical ones."

Predictably, Kaiba latched on to the one word he could argue. "Life isn't about pleasure."

Isono drew in a breath. "Neither is it solely about pain."

Kaiba steepled his fingers and leaned his chin on them. "So, according to you, a personal diagnostic test is in order?"

"I think you built an entire new dueling system that revolves around connections. And I've never known you to leave a job half finished."

Kaiba snorted. "Sometimes I wonder why you've stuck it out, here."

Isono hid his smile. The most truly child-like thing about both Kaiba brothers was the way they continually forgot that they paid him salary. "Like you, sir, I hate to leave a job undone." He bowed and turned to leave.

"Isono…" Kaiba waited until Isono had reached the door before muttering, "Thank you."

Isono gave him a small smile. Possibly, they were both relieved that Isono was still wearing his sunglasses, hiding the softness of his expression. "Of course, sir," he said as he left the room.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** It occurred to me at some point that because the characters have been separated, each of them only knows part of what has been happening since the tournament with Diva. Atem has no idea that Kaiba almost died in his first attempt to travel dimensions, and without knowing that, Mokuba's attitude makes a lot less sense. Kaiba has no idea that Atem has been missing him, and at the moment is too hurt to put the pieces together. And, Yugi certainly has to be wondering why Kaiba called him up to tell him that Atem had returned. There's a certain messiness to everyone's knowledge and reactions.

I also tried, in the conversation between Mokuba and Atem, to show how Shadi's visit in the last chapter had reinforced Mokuba's fears for his brother.

 **Isono Note:** I've always liked the idea that Isono walks this very fine line between supporting Kaiba, but having to do it in a way that Kaiba can bring himself to accept. In this story I wanted to explore those times when that line gets a little blurred.

 _ **Note to Guest:**_ Thank you so much! One thing that struck me with "The Dark Side of Dimensions" was how much both Kaiba and Yugi were struggling with grief. It occurred to me that we don't know how Atem feels, and I wanted to write a story that explored some pretty messy emotions. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	13. Ignoring Elephants

**CHAPTER 13: IGNORING ELEPHANTS**

ANGER: Wanda Dunn is hiding from Death in her apartment in "The Twilight Zone." One day, she opens the door to let in a wounded policeman. Immediately afterwards, a contractor shows up, urging her to leave so he can demolish her building. The demise of the building becomes a metaphor for the great circle of life, until the contractor leaves, and it turns out that (surprise!) the policeman, played by a young, gorgeous, and unknown Robert Redford, was Death after all.

 _MORAL: If you want to make Death look inviting, cast a young Robert Redford in the title role._

 _SLIGHTLY LESS FLIPPANT MORAL: There's only so long that you can avoid the elephant in the room before you either have to clean up the mess it's made on the floor, or give up and move._

* * *

Yugi ran to Atem, leaving the front door open. He came to a sudden stop in front of his one-time partner and reached out gingerly, as if he expected his hands to go through Atem's body. But at that first tentative touch, Yugi found himself swept into a hug. Atem leaned against Yugi, shaking slightly.

Atem put his hands on Yugi's shoulders, then looked into the face of his other self, noting all the differences, not just between himself and Yugi, but between the man he was holding in his arms and the boy that he'd left.

"Atem… what's going on? Why was Kaiba of all people calling to let me know that you were back?"

"I didn't want to startle you… or intrude if you were happy… or…"

Yugi's mouth dropped open. "Intrude? How could you think I wouldn't be overjoyed to see you? You thought… Atem, no… I still can't believe you're here… but how can you apologize for something so wonderful as giving me the chance to see you?"

"I want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted," Atem said, suddenly uneasily aware that Yugi's happiness was no longer the _only_ thing he wanted.

"I _am_ happy! I'm just fine!"

Atem hugged Yugi again. It was easier to talk this way. "I'm sorry. I don't know how long I can stay. I don't want to hurt you when I leave again."

"It's worth it to spend a little more time with you. Let me deal with the rest. That's what the Ceremonial Duel was about, wasn't it? You'd only feel free to find your own home, to be where you wanted to be, if you knew I was going to be okay. Well, I am. When this is over, you can go back where you belong without worrying about us!"

Atem nodded, glad his face was still invisible, still buried in Yugi's shoulder. "You're right, partner," he said, glossing over all the ways that Yugi was wrong. Atem had gone to the Ceremonial Duel handcuffed by destiny… and by the need to set Yugi free. He'd felt like he was running a race, shackled every step of the way by the impossible task of convincing Yugi that his leaving was a choice, not a necessity, that he had no doubts, no second thoughts, and most of all, no regrets. "The Ceremonial Duel proved how able you are. I should have trusted its message."

"It's okay. We should be smiling, not moping around. For however long it lasts, you're back! Oh wow! I better let the gang know! They'll be as thrilled as me."

Yugi took out his phone and sent a group text. They walked into the house and closed the door. A series of car horn blasts got Yugi's attention. He looked down at his phone. "Great! Jounouchi, Honda and Bakura should all be here in a minute. They can't wait to see you!"

Yugi put his phone away. "You're here because of the duelists, right? We've been trying to figure it out. Honda noticed what was going on first."

Atem smiled. "Honda would. Mahaad would like him." Atem winced. "Not that they'll ever meet." He shook his head. "There's much I don't know about what's happening here. Not just about this, but… how is everybody?"

"Don't worry! We'll catch you up!"

Atem nodded.

"So, if you can stop apologizing for coming to save the world again, how did Kaiba take the news that you're here?"

A slight smile played on Atem's lips as he said, "The first thing he did was swear not to help."

Yugi laughed. "I can almost hear him saying it. You know he will, though."

Atem nodded.

"I thought Kaiba would have been glad to see you. I mean, first he tried to force you to come back and then he chased you all the way to the Netherworld."

Atem glanced down and sighed.

Yugi looked at Atem more closely. "How are you, Atem?"

"Fine," Atem answered.

Yugi glanced at Atem, but before he could ask anything else, the doorbell rang. Yugi ran to the door and opened it.

Jounouchi bounced into the room and jumped in the pharaoh's arms. Yugi reflected that it was a good thing that Atem was stronger than his height would indicate; even so he needed to step backwards to adjust to the extra weight. Honda raced up and slapped Atem on the shoulder before grabbing Yugi, wrapping them all in a hug as far as his arms could reach. They teetered for a moment, but managed to stay standing. Bakura hung back. He waved at Atem, although Atem was too deeply buried to see the gesture.

When they finally broke apart, Jounouchi took a step back, whistled and said, "Nice threads!"

Atem pivoted. His tunic flared out. The Puzzle swung on its chain in sync with his movements. "Thanks."

They all laughed. Then Jounouchi shook his head and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're here, things must be really bad."

"They are," Atem agreed.

" _I_ told you that," Honda pointed out.

"Yeah, but who listens to you? You're not some big scary pharaoh!"

Yugi and Bakura managed to guide Jounouchi and Honda into the kitchen before a shoving match broke out.

"Why don't we pool our knowledge," Bakura said quietly when they were sitting around the Mutou's table. He glanced at Atem, looked away and then said, "Whatever the reason, it's good to see you."

Atem smiled. "You, too." Atem paused then added, "The Spirit of the Ring is truly gone from both our worlds."

Bakura gave a quick nod. "Thanks. I was wondering." He looked around, unsure of what to say next, especially in front of Atem.

"There are infinite dimensions," Atem reminded him.

"Perhaps he found his way to a more forgiving one," Yugi added quietly.

Bakura nodded and smiled back.

Honda cleared his throat and pulled out a notepad. "And we have enough problems of our own, right now."

"Ignore him. Honda's just practicing to be a cop," Jounouchi muttered.

"And the first lesson is not paying attention to delinquents like you." Honda flipped through the pages of his notebook and gave a brief description of the duelists who had been affected and their reasons for assuming that Shadi was the culprit. "That's basically it on our end," Honda said as he finished.

"I'm not sure what I can add," Atem said.

"You could start with why you're back and how you got here," Jounouchi said.

Atem nodded and relayed what he'd learned from Horakhty. He was glad that the gang had seen her before. It made his explanations easier.

Jounouchi waited until Atem finished and then burst out, "So basically Kaiba dug up a bunch of stuff that should have stayed buried, created a doorway to another dimension and then everything went sideways. I _knew_ it was all Kaiba's fault!"

Everyone laughed, except Atem. Jounouchi was just joking, Atem reminded himself. But now that he had his own voice, he couldn't stay silent. "I was responsible as well. Kaiba may have created the potential for a portal, but I was the one who completed the pathway between our worlds when I crossed dimensions to come back here to see him."

"What? Why? I'd have thought you'd be glad to get away from the jerk," Jounouchi said.

Atem winced.

"Where is this portal?" Honda asked.

"Kaiba created a special dueling lab," Atem answered.

Everyone laughed again. Atem looked around, bewildered.

"You came back _for a duel?_ " Yugi asked.

"I should have known it!" Jounouchi exclaimed.

"Some things never change," Honda agreed.

Atem looked from Yugi to Jounouchi to Honda to Bakura – who was quietly cracking up – and back again. They expected everything to be just the same as the day he'd left. Then again, why shouldn't they? He'd expected it as well. It was only now that he realized how much everything had changed, himself most of all. But it was good being with them, trading jokes and strategies with equal abandon. It was easy to believe that everything would work out when they were together.

It was late by the time the group broke up, full of plans to meet again the next day.

"I'd better head out, too," Atem said after everyone left.

"Head out? Where? I mean… you're staying here with me, aren't you?" Yugi asked.

Atem's face reddened slightly. "I asked Kaiba if I could stay with him. I didn't want to intrude… "

"I thought we settled that! Of course, you're staying here with me! It's your home too, or it was!"

Atem opened his mouth to say, _"Of course, if you want me to,"_ then stopped. "I had planned…" Atem stopped again. "I mean…"

Yugi's forehead wrinkled. "What's wrong, Atem? You want to stay, right?"

Atem made a strangled sound in response. Saying either "yes" or "no" seemed equally impossible. How could he refuse Yugi? But if he accepted, how could he ever hope to convince Kaiba that he would move time and space to see him? How would he ever believe it himself? Horakhty had made it clear: he was being given a second chance, a reward for past and future services. He couldn't throw it away, but saying "no" meant refusing Yugi, and he didn't know how to do that either. He drew in a breath.

Yugi stared at Atem. It was impossible to miss how upset he was. Yugi bit his lip. He almost wished that they were still connected so he'd know what was going on.

"Is it because you already told Kaiba that you'd go back to his house?"

"I promised," Atem whispered.

Yugi nodded, relieved to have figured out the problem, although he couldn't see what there was to get so worked up about. Had Atem always been this dramatic? In duels, he guessed, and if he was being honest, around Kaiba as well. It had felt different, before. Yugi frowned slightly then quickly switched to a smile when he noticed Atem's lips turning downwards to match his. "It's fine. I guess being a pharaoh means keeping your word, right? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to ditch a friend. I wouldn't do it, either." He frowned again. "You could have just told me, 'no.' You know that, right?"

Atem nodded, ignoring the fact he knew nothing of the kind. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You better. You're not going to get out of meeting my grandpa. I told him everything after we got back from Egypt. He already knew and just never let on. But I want you to meet him properly."

Atem nodded, although he couldn't help but feel that was another gauntlet to run.

The ride to the mansion was quiet. Atem didn't recognize the driver. He drew in a breath and tried to relax, glad that Isono apparently had the night off. He needed quiet and solitude. He needed time, even if it came in half hour bursts.

Atem loved Yugi beyond his own life, but he'd refused his offer to stay the night. He'd turned down the chance to wake up with Yugi, to eat breakfast together, just like before only better, because they could look at each other without one of them seeing only a shadow. He stood by his choice, but somehow, it reminded Atem of the Ceremonial Duel; he was heading through yet another door, with even less idea what lay behind.

And then there was Kaiba, who had almost died trying to see him. It had been Kaiba's decision, and like all of Kaiba's decisions, nothing could have swayed him. Atem knew that. Kaiba's rashness wasn't – and never had been – Atem's fault. He knew that, too. _"But he could have died,"_ Atem thought. And he had no answer for that except for a phantom grief at the loss they'd all avoided... except for resentment at having been turned into an unwilling accomplice in Kaiba's latest run at self-destruction.

Atem leaned back against the plush leather seats, closed his eyes and tried and failed to get some sleep. "The stubborn, selfish fool," he muttered as his eyes snapped open for the tenth time during the short drive. Atem was glad when the limousine arrived at the mansion. He got out and walked to the door, gulping in the cool night air.

A security guard was waiting at the door. He let Atem in, gave him directions to the upstairs guest bedroom and went back to his post, leaving Atem alone in the foyer. There was a light coming from a room at the end of a long hallway. Atem ignored the guard's instructions and walked towards it. Kaiba was sitting at the desk, still in his black turtleneck and leather pants, staring at his computer. He didn't look up.

Atem had thought the night air and the long drive had helped. Atem had thought he was in control of his own frustrations and fears and doubts. But now, watching Kaiba ignore him, Atem's temper snapped.

"When were you going to tell me that you almost killed yourself trying to reach me?" Atem asked.

Kaiba shrugged. "It wasn't worth mentioning."

"What is wrong with you?"

Kaiba leaned back in his chair and rested his feet on the top of his desk. "Absolutely nothing. I'm perfect."

Atem scanned him from his wider shoulders to his more tightly muscled chest and abs and then down to his long legs, still encased in leather pants. "Don't try to distract me!"

Kaiba smirked. "Thank you. But what I meant was that there was a glitch on the first attempt. My old body couldn't stand the strain of inter-dimensional travel. I fixed the problem."

"Listen to yourself! You're talking about your life. Have you learned nothing?"

Kaiba pushed back from his desk and stood up so that he could look down on Atem more easily. His eyes glittered. "My life is none of your business."

"Of course, it is! You made it my business when you almost killed yourself trying to reach me! Everyone from Mokuba to your dragon has been acting like I'm a murderer and I had no idea why! How could you be so stupidly reckless? How could you, after everything, risk your life for a duel?"

"It wasn't just for a duel and you know it! If Mokuba wants to rip up at me, that's his right. Not yours. You don't get to order me around and pretend that it's because you care."

"I'm not pretending and if you looked past your anger for two seconds, you'd know it too!" Atem drew in a breath, knowing whatever he said next had to be said carefully. "Is that why you followed me home? If you wanted to know if I care, I do."

"I wanted to force you to acknowledge that I mattered, that you couldn't walk away as if I'd never existed." Kaiba shrugged. His gaze dropped to the floor. "Then sometime after I came home, I realized that if the only way to get your attention was by forcing a duel on you, I'd lost before I'd begun."

"You're accusing me of betraying a friendship that you never admitted existed! Why did you act like friendship was a dirty word if it's what you wanted all along?"

"Because I didn't know!" Kaiba ripped back, then stopped, stunned at the admission that had slipped out. "Does it make you feel superior to hear me admit it?" he shot back in an attempt to regain some ground.

"Superior? Never. But it does make me feel better to know I wasn't the only one who made mistakes."

"That's a first. You never stopped bleating about friendship and trust, like you knew everything," Kaiba snarled.

"I never stopped reaching out to you. And you never stopped pushing me away whenever it suited you. You never told me how you felt, then you blamed me for not reading your mind. You knew the Millennium Items had power. It's why you dug them up. And once you got what you came for, you left the rest just lying there for anyone to find. You could have died! Stop acting like that wouldn't matter to anyone but you! Stop acting like no one would miss you!"

Kaiba stepped back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. But something in his eyes, for once unguarded if unreadable, made the familiar pose defensive and vulnerable instead of threatening.

"Are we back to that? You only bring it up when you want something to yell about. Miss me? You were gone! You told me losing doesn't equal death and then you lost a duel with Yugi and went to the Netherworld – or as I like to put it: _died_. I thought I knew your opinion on losing and dying. I guess I was wrong."

"No! You weren't wrong and you know it! It's just… it was more complicated than that. You would have thrown your life away. I hated watching you do that, time and time again. It was different for me. I didn't _have_ a life."

"Then who was my one true rival? Who was the person who forced me to re-examine everything I'd ever believed or thought? Because it sure as hell wasn't Yugi." Kaiba snorted. "At least Gozaburo had the decency to jump out of a window in front of my face instead of sneaking off to kill himself out of sight. Oh, that's right." Kaiba snapped his fingers. "You weren't out of sight. All your _friends_ were with you."

Kaiba bared his teeth in a snarl, or maybe a grin. His blood was racing, as if they were dueling, as if they were locked in each other's arms. This was the fight he'd been aching for ever since the morning Atem had left him behind, the siren song that had led him on through failed attempts to finally stand in Atem's throne room. He'd teased at it in their duel, in his dreams, in his basement computer lab. Kaiba threw back his head and laughed, not caring how unhinged he sounded, finally ready to jump over a divide that had proven more immutable than time and space itself.

"You talk a good game, Atem, but when you had to decide who you wanted with you, who you wanted to say good-bye to, it wasn't me. I was going to show you my new KaibaLand and all the work I'd done. I was in the middle of planning out our promised duel. And then, I heard from Yugi that you were gone. You left me behind like I was just another piece of trash that wasn't worth the trouble to pick up. And after all that, I couldn't stop, I still wanted to see you badly enough to go to your fucking afterlife palace. You can talk all you want about friendship and trust, but you were the one who left without a word, knowing I was waiting for you to come back!"

Atem drew in a breath, then exhaled, suddenly, eerily calm. He felt a strange sense of release, like a champagne bottle in the moment after its opening. This was the fight they'd been circling ever since Kaiba had stormed into Atem's throne room, the fight they'd refused to acknowledge existed, except through glancing insults and taunts that were just as quickly deflected. Atem was tired of dancing up to the edge of disaster and then retreating to safer ground. It was finally time to fall.

Kaiba had thought that Atem had left him without saying good-bye, as though they'd never been anything but casual and indifferent acquaintances… as though Kaiba had never been worth the breath it would have taken to whisper farewell.

Atem had never held Kaiba so lightly. But he'd put Kaiba aside long enough to complete his mission. And Atem wasn't sure that the difference mattered.

"I had to leave, Kaiba. It wasn't my body. Every breath I took reminded me of that. Every time you saw me, I was stealing that time from Yugi… and he was too good-hearted to realize it. He thought I was his protector, his friend. And for a while I told myself that. But once I knew he could stand on his own, that he'd grown past me…" Atem swallowed. He gazed into Kaiba's eyes, willing him to understand. "I refused to be a parasite, a leech on Yugi's life sucking away his time. Yugi deserved better than that. I had to set him free if it was the last thing I did on this earth."

"It was."

Atem looked down. "I know."

"That explains why you left. Not why you didn't tell me."

"Would you have accepted my decision?" Atem asked.

"No." The word was flat, uncompromising.

"I knew that, too. And I knew that Yugi and my friends would never question it; they'd hide their tears and doubts even as they were waving me across the threshold. That's what I needed to see my mission through to its end. That doesn't mean you were any less…"

Kaiba had been pacing around the room. He came to a stop in front of Atem again, like a planet completing its orbit to return to its starting point. "How can you still insist that we were friends? Everyone was there but me."

Atem looked up at Kaiba, refusing to turn away. "I learned friendship from Yugi. He taught me that friends never hurt each other. He was wrong. They do. I did. I couldn't fight you as well as my own fears. I couldn't risk adding you to the regrets that were threatening to kneecap me before I reached the finish line. I told myself that you wouldn't be hurt, not really, that it was kinder this way." Atem's lips twisted in a parody of a smile. "And it was kinder. To me."

Atem drew in a breath and walked up to Kaiba. "You were the one who kept telling me to think for myself, to do what I wanted to regardless of anyone else. But that's not the right answer, either. Or maybe it's just that there was no way to win this game. I had to leave. And the only way I could do it involved hurting you."

Kaiba hadn't had a clue what he'd wanted Atem to say. Apologies were useless. He would have sneered at the usual, outworn arguments. But somehow, Atem had changed the game. Instead of glaring at an impregnable, self-righteous wall, Kaiba was suddenly gazing into a mirror. He was seeing someone who lay awake at night counting his errors instead of sheep until he was too wired to sleep and too exhausted to do anything else, someone who tossed all night looking for the right move and ended up settling for the best of a bad deal and then doubled down on the flawed bargain he'd made. Kaiba was seeing someone who could be hurt, someone who'd make out with a hologram if that was all that was left, someone who needed a rival to get in his face and make him question everything he thought he knew. Kaiba had been shouting that they were equals from the moment they'd met. For the first time he understood that this was what he'd been waiting for.

Atem reached up to brush the hair off of Kaiba's forehead. "I wanted all of this to be your fault, and heavens knows you've been a self-centered jerk. But this isn't all on you. You acted like you didn't care what happened to me. I hurt you by leaving without saying goodbye. You dug up the Item you needed to reach me and left the rest for anyone to find. I came back for you and that's what woke Shadi up. We're the two halves of this mess. Mis-step by mis-step, we did it together."

Kaiba shook his head at that, more in thought than in disagreement. "You proved that the miracle of friendship existed. Then you proved that miracles don't happen. Now you want me to believe all over again?"

Atem smiled. "Yes."

Kaiba nodded at that, more in thought than in agreement. Was this what he'd crossed dimensions to find? Not a victory or even an acknowledgement, but a friendship, as flawed and full of wrong turns as its makers. "I always thought, if we were really friends, you'd know."

"What?" Atem asked,

"Anything. Everything."

Atem smiled. "I thought that too, at first. But even with Yugi, even sharing a body, that's not how it works. Being a friend doesn't mean you automatically know everything. It means you want to learn. Please, tell me, Kaiba."

"What?" Kaiba asked.

"Anything. Everything," Atem repeated.

Kaiba laughed. "You've always known how to throw my words back in my face."

"And you've always known how to force me to face questions I didn't want to ask, much less answer."

"Is that friendship?" Kaiba asked seriously.

"I think so. Our brand of it, anyway. What about you?"

Kaiba's lips twitched. He put his hands on Atem's shoulders, then moved past him towards the door. "I think it leaves me able to sleep for once and that's good enough for tonight."

"Agreed," Atem said as he followed Kaiba up the stairs. He reached up to stroke Kaiba's cheek before going to the guest bedroom.

Atem stepped into his assigned room. Burgundy silk pajamas were laid out on the bed. Atem glanced at the open closet and whistled. Kaiba might not have expected him to return, but his planning had given away just how much he'd hoped for it. Atem walked over to the closet. It was stuffed with different outfits, all in his size – from an exact copy of the fine linen tunic he was wearing, to the black top and high school uniform he'd shared with Yugi – and everything in between. He closed the door and took off his clothes and jewelry. He grabbed the chain holding his Puzzle, hesitated and then dropped his hand and climbed into bed.

It took Kaiba a long time to fall asleep. For once though, he made up for it by sleeping past daybreak. He awoke feeling at peace. He lay in bed, marveling at this contented feeling, this sense that there was someone who understood, and that understanding made them stronger. He'd had glimpses of it before: in the Netherworld, in his dreams, in his dueling arena. Each time, it had slipped through his fingers.

Kaiba got out of bed and headed to his shower. It was time to find out if he could hold onto it. It was another day, but was it a _new_ day?

He finished his shower and dried off. He went to his closet, paused for a moment and then grabbed his newest coat. The waistline was defined by golden crystals, an event horizon that faded through all the colors of flame to a deep midnight blue at the pointed shoulders and flaring hem. A sprinkling of clear crystals and silver blue LED lights glittered from the dark background. He pulled it on over a black turtleneck and leather slacks, then worked his feet into leather boots and tightened their buckles.

Kaiba opened his door and almost tripped over the heap of blankets jumbled in front of it. He pulled back his foot to kick the offending pile out of his way, then spied the spiky, tri-colored hair peeking out from under a fluffy comforter.

Atem lifted his head. "Oh, good. You're awake."

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "You didn't have to camp out in front of my door."

Atem sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I think maybe I did."

Kaiba snorted. "I thought you were assigned a room. In fact, I remember you walking into it."

Atem stood up, still wrapped in the comforter. "And it was very comfortable. But I wanted to make sure that I spoke to you before you left."

"Why?"

"I didn't want us to stop now that we've started."

Kaiba nodded. "We might as well have breakfast then, before I head to work and you head to Yugi's."

"Work? It's Saturday."

"Half day."

Atem nodded and followed Kaiba down the stairs and into the dining room. Kaiba stopped by the kitchen and spoke to the chef along the way. In a very short time, they were seated with coffee and eggs with rice. Kaiba drank his coffee black. Atem tried it that way then made a face and reached for the cream and sugar that had been left on the table.

"So, talk," Kaiba said. Despite the abruptness of the words, his tone was friendly.

Atem grinned. "You first."

Kaiba smiled, then shook his head. "Coward."

Atem grinned back, then looked up in surprise as Kaiba got up and circled the room before sitting down and facing him again.

"Why did you come back here last night instead of staying with Yugi? I wasn't expecting it," Kaiba asked quietly.

"That's an easy one. Because I wanted to," Atem answered.

"Why?" Kaiba repeated.

Suddenly the question wasn't as simple or as easy. Atem paused, for once seeing the trap in front of him, before saying, _"Because I promised,"_ or _"Because you were hurt and I wanted to help."_ Both were true but they weren't the truth. Atem smiled and shook his head. His first answer had been the right one. "I've learned that I can't be in two places at once. I have to make choices. And I wanted to be here."

Kaiba leaned back in his chair. A slight smile played on his lips.

"My turn," Atem said. He tilted his head to the side. "Did you really think Yugi and my friends just threw the Puzzle in a hole and forgot about me?"

Kaiba shrugged. "What was I supposed to think? I got some garbled email from Yugi. You'd lost a duel with him. You'd gone to the afterlife. He'd broken the Puzzle into pieces."

"You should have known that Yugi would never hurt me."

Kaiba laughed. "Didn't he?"

"Yugi was trying to send me home! He put aside his own feelings, his own grief, just to do what I wanted!"

" _Was_ it what you wanted?"

"It was right."

Kaiba whistled. "Does Yugi know why you left?"

"There is no 'one' reason."

Kaiba ignored Atem's answer. "Does he know you did it for him?"

"No."

Kaiba laughed. "Are you sure? One of us is underestimating Yugi. And I'm betting that for once, it isn't me."

"I never want him to suspect. It wouldn't be fair to him."

"What about you?" Kaiba took Atem's gaze and held it. "Are you telling me that if you had been free to choose, this is what you would have picked?"

Atem shook his head. "I was never free. I thought I would have been happy to stay as we were, joined together, but now I know, that wasn't the right answer either." Atem sighed. "Only one of us was real, and it wasn't me. I was like the after-image that remains when you shut your eyes after staring too long at the sun, destined to disappear."

"Do you believe that?" Kaiba snapped.

"I did then. I don't, now." Atem made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "I always thought there had to be one absolute, right answer. You weren't the only one to build your certainties on sand."

Kaiba grunted. The sound was oddly companionable. He froze for a moment in surprise. He was sitting across from his rival drinking coffee and shooting the breeze. He was enjoying himself. Kaiba had envisioned every future imaginable in his struggle to reach Atem, except this one. He shook his head to dislodge the sudden feeling that this was just another hallucination, that he'd wake up still in bed and alone.

"Kaiba?"

Kaiba's shoulders hunched in protectively for a second before he shook himself erect. He drew in a breath. "Sometimes, like now, when things feel too good, it feels too close to losing."

"Too close to losing?" Atem echoed.

He shrugged. "Surrendering my anger and being left with nothing in exchange."

"Anger isn't your strength! You know that, Kaiba! Don't go backwards now."

Kaiba growled. He was right. That contented, lazy feeling was too good to last. "What does it matter to you if I move backwards or forwards or sideways or climb on the roof? You're here for the mission. This is just a stopover until you save the world again. Or is this just you feeling that royal sense of obligation again? Afraid that the ambrosia in your Netherworld palace won't taste as sweet if you're worried about me?"

"Beer, actually."

Kaiba snorted. "I would have expected something fancier."

Atem could have laughed. He could have let the conversation drop. He could have gone back to wondering how many ways Kaiba would find to hint that Atem couldn't possibly care _for_ him as well as _about_ him.

Atem drew in a breath, remembering Horakhty asking him what he was returning for. Now that he finally understood the question, it was time to work on an answer. "This isn't just about my mission. That's my necessity, not my desire." He stood up and walked to Kaiba's side of the table. Kaiba pushed back his chair so they could face each other.

"If there's one thing I've learned," Atem said, "it's that I can't predict, much less control, the future." He leaned down, kissed Kaiba lightly on the lips, and stepped back, giving Kaiba his space. "I've been given a chance to figure out who I am without any titles, without being the 'King of Games,' or the 'Pharaoh,' or even Yugi's 'Other Me.' But whoever I turn out to be, I'm the one that left you, that put himself first. I'm the one who couldn't find another way. You desired the invincible King of Games. I don't know if you want Atem, the person who makes mistakes and occasionally loses a duel and who's just figuring out that rules are simple and absolute, but hearts are neither. The man who can't promise anything except to remember to say good-bye." Atem's lips twitched. "It's possible that you don't know whether you want that Atem, either. You chased me to the Netherworld. Now, it's my turn to stand still."

"If I preferred an illusion, I would have settled for my hologram," Kaiba said.

Atem raised an eyebrow at that but decided not to ask. "Then we've reached the start of our next path. I'd like to walk it together."

Kaiba smirked. "You once promised that the road of our battles stretched out as far as the eye could see."

Atem nodded, thanking the gods for giving him a second chance to redeem his promise.

* * *

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 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** The fight between Kaiba and Atem was one of the earliest scenes I wrote for the story. My impression from "The Dark Side of Dimensions," was that Kaiba didn't know the details of the Ceremonial Duel. One head canon I wanted to explore was that he hadn't known that the duel was going to take place until afterwards. I think it would have been incredibly painful for him to have found out afterwards from Yugi. For me, this has sort of been the starting point for a lot of Kaiba's actions, like a default setting he keeps coming back to. But for all the skirmishes they've had, they've never really addressed the real issue between them. For me, it's not something that has an easy resolution; possibly the perfect Duelist (to use the title in the Yu-Gi-Oh! sense of the word) could have found the perfect winning strategy back then, but as we've already established, neither Atem nor Kaiba are perfect.

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	14. Ghosts Just Want to Have Fun

**CHAPTER 14: GHOSTS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This story is mainly based on the manga. In the manga, Pegasus dies at the end of Duelists Kingdom. However, so much of this story is about how people react to loss versus how they think they should react, what people want versus what they think they should want and who they are versus who they think they should be. Pegasus seems so much a part of all of that, I felt he belonged here. So, in a break from manga canon, I'm bringing Pegasus back to life here.

* * *

 **BARGAINING:** If you asked me to name a bunch of famous ghosts, Jacob Marley and the gang from "A Christmas Carol,'' would probably top the list. And they follow – or perhaps, set – the pattern for do-gooding ghosts. They appear to show Scrooge the error of his ways, to warn and to teach. I'm not complaining, because clearly Scrooge needed someone to knock some sense – not to mention kindness – into him, and if a paranormal intervention was what it took, I'm all for it. But thinking of Scrooge's one-time partner, Jacob Marley, I have to wonder if he ever wanted something more.

 _MORAL: There aren't a lot of ghost stories where the ghosts simply want to hang out and have a burger with the gang. But maybe there should be._

* * *

Atem hurried upstairs after breakfast to change out of his pajamas. He went to the closet and grabbed the soft, fine linen tunic. It was an almost perfect replica of the garment he'd arrived in. He belted it, put on his earrings and slipped his golden breastplate over his head, then added the golden armlets. Atem glanced back at the closet. His grin widened as he pulled out a pair of slim black pants and gold leather boots, then swung a black denim and leather jacket over his shoulders to complete his ensemble. It had the familiar feel of Yugi's school jacket. He glanced at the mirror. His outfit was a wild mix of Domino and the Netherworld; it was uniquely his.

Kaiba was waiting near the door. His eyebrows rose as Atem came down the stairs. If Atem had looked desirable before, now he seemed an unclaimable force, a whirlwind poised to storm through Kaiba's life. Kaiba swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, and turned to lead the way to his car.

Atem glanced at the car, not noticing that it matched the swirling violet-red of his eyes. He got in and leaned back against the leather cushions.

Kaiba started the car and drove off of the grounds. He glanced over at Atem. There was something oddly companionable about driving with Atem on a pair of mundane errands, as if no unspoken good-byes or angry words lay between them. It reminded Kaiba of the time when they'd walked through the streets of Domino together… until Atem had put Kaiba aside to chase after his friends. Kaiba scowled and jerked the car into the next gear with the grinding sound of metal on metal.

"You look impressive," Kaiba spat out.

"Thank you," Atem answered, staring at Kaiba, as if Kaiba's sudden scowl was a puzzle he needed to solve. "This reminds me of when we were walking around during Battle City," Atem said. Kaiba's face darkened in response. "Only better, because no one's been kidnapped. We could walk around Domino and just… walk."

"Did you forget that you're here only because there's some big mystical threat?" Kaiba asked.

Atem smiled. "Ah, but there's a difference between coming over to help my friends and staging an emergency rescue. I prefer the first one."

Kaiba's shoulders relaxed. His hands unclenched on the steering wheel at the same time his foot stamped down on the gas pedal. The car shot ahead. "This is better," Kaiba admitted.

"I'm glad that no matter how many glitches there were in our earlier attempts at understanding each other, we're revising our usual sub-routines. Did I say that, correctly?" Atem asked with false sweetness.

"Don't push it," Kaiba said.

"When have I ever?" Atem murmured, drawing a bark of laughter from Kaiba. He waited until they'd stopped at a light and added, "I'd like to return tonight."

Kaiba glanced at him, then ducked his head. "I'd like that, too."

Atem smiled and looked out the window. This was easily the most ordinary, borderline boring conversation they'd ever had. He stretched briefly and leaned even further into the plush cushions.

They arrived at the game shop. Atem moved towards Kaiba and kissed him on the cheek. "I meant everything I said and did in your computer lab… every kiss, every caress," he whispered into Kaiba's ear.

Kaiba glanced at Atem out of the corner of his eyes, refusing to turn fully around. "That last meeting… in the dueling arena… if having me was really what you wanted, why did you stop? You must have known I was ready to go the distance."

"Because you didn't believe any of it was real! You didn't believe that _I_ was real. I couldn't… I couldn't lie to you like that. No, it would have been worse than a lie. It would have been a betrayal."

"But you knew that I thought you were a hologram from the beginning, so why did you start? Why kiss me at all?" There was a stubborn, childish note in Kaiba's voice.

"Because I wanted you badly enough to fool myself into thinking that I'd convinced you."

Kaiba grin was too soft for a smirk but too smug for a smile.

"Nothing has changed since that night. Not for me. But the next move is yours," Atem added.

Kaiba yanked Atem out of his seat and into his arms in one swift motion. Atem ended up sprawled across the front seats – and across Kaiba's chest. Kaiba held Atem's head in place for a swift kiss, and then for another longer, deeper one.

Atem shifted back into his own seat, straightening himself like a cat who'd just been upended and dropped.

"If it's my move, I'll make it a good one," Kaiba promised.

"I'll be waiting," Atem answered as he got out of the car. He walked to the entrance to Yugi's home, whistling.

Kaiba watched him for a moment and then restarted his engine, an absurdly happy smile – the kind he would never have permitted anyone to see – running unchecked across his face. Kaiba sat there for a moment, remembering Atem asking him if he desired the invincible King of Games or the Atem who'd returned. Kaiba drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He'd craved the King of Games so much he'd created a replica, only to reject it in his computer lab. And yet, that cool, commanding King of Games lingered in every word Atem spoke, in every breath he took. That Atem still surged through Kaiba's veins, quickening his blood. But he'd grabbed the tail of a tiger and mistaken it for the entire beast. It was time to find out just who he'd been reaching for so frantically.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed as he shot into traffic. If there were any words more delightful than, _"The next move is yours,"_ he didn't know them.

Pegasus sat in his dining room in solitary splendor. He took a sip of wine and carefully set it down on the table. He drew in a breath and fussed with the cuffs of his shirt to avoid looking up. His splendor had suddenly become much less solitary, and yet, he felt more alone in it than ever. "Don't you ever knock? Then again, I suppose anything so ordinary would cramp your style."

Shadi didn't respond.

Pegasus sighed. It was foolish, he supposed, to have expected an answer. "You can't imagine that you're welcome here."

"I gave you what you wanted," Shadi said. His voice was low and mild.

Pegasus was silent for a moment. He closed his eyes and felt Cyndia's golden hair brush across his face. He could smell her perfume. For an instant he gave himself over to the illusion that she was there. He opened his eyes again and took another sip of wine. "Yes, you did. But our business was concluded. So why the return visit?"

Shadi smiled in place of an answer.

Pegasus waved a hand. "Never mind, I'm sure you'll tell me in your own good time." He got up, took another glass from the mantle, filled it and pushed it across the table.

Shadi dipped his head, but made no move to take it.

"Still a ghost, I see. Or is it just that you'd prefer a Zinfandel?" Pegasus commented.

Shadi folded his arms and tucked his hands into the sleeves of his garment. He drew out the Millennium Eye. It gleamed as Shadi placed it on the table between them. "I have something that could be yours again."

Pegasus' remaining eye widened. He could almost hear the Millennium Eye whispering to him. It had Cyndia's voice.

"I lost the Eye to the Spirit of the Ring," Pegasus said, unable to look away from the Item that lay between them.

"Millennium Items have a way of being found."

Pegasus reached out with a slender forefinger and stroked the orb's surface, traced the ridges that outlined the eye at its center. Instantly Cyndia was in his arms. He held her tighter than death. They kissed as if time had winked out of existence. After a moment she moved her head back so he could see her. She was older than the face from her portrait, as if she had aged along with him. Then, just as abruptly, Cyndia vanished, leaving him gasping. He gulped down the rest of his wine. He stared at the space between himself and Shadi, empty except for the golden Eye that seemed to wink at him.

"Not many men are offered a second chance to accomplish the same goal," Shadi said.

"A return ticket on a fool's journey, you mean," Pegasus said with a laugh.

"Is Seto Kaiba so much wiser than you?" Shadi asked.

"What?" All pretense at lightness vanished with that one hissed word. A few months ago, Kaiba had secluded himself so thoroughly he might have disappeared off the face of the earth. Pegasus had heard the rumors… that he'd built an elevator into space, that he had a dragon shaped rocket, that he was working on a project so secret no one but Mokuba had heard even the whisper of its name. Pegasus' spies had been unable to separate shadow from fact. And then, as suddenly as they'd started, the rumors had stopped. Kaiba had resumed his accustomed place in the news cycle.

"Kaiba crossed dimensions to duel the pharaoh. That could have been overlooked, but he inspired the pharaoh to do the same," Shadi said.

"You mean Kaiba-boy succeeded for something as petty as rivalry, when I failed for love?"

"I did not say it was petty or rivalry."

"That's not possible…" Pegasus mumbled. He reached blindly for his wine glass, then realized it was empty.

"The Millennium Items were laid to rest with the pharaoh. Now they are alive again, just as he is. Even a one-eyed man should be able to see what has happened," Shadi said. "Seto Kaiba succeeded where you failed."

"How?" Pegasus asked.

"Why don't you ask your business partner?"

Pegasus' lips twisted downwards. Pegasus remembered his first meeting with Kaiba. He'd seen the raw potential in the boy. Pegasus had almost fallen to his knees in relief at finding the one person – the one child – who might have the gift of crossing time and space. A child who had stood in front of Pegasus, assessing him with cold blue eyes that gave nothing away. "Do you imagine Seto Kaiba would answer any questions of mine on the subject of raising the dead?"

"The information is in his head. You can use the Millennium Eye to retrieve – or remove – it. What you do with the knowledge afterwards is your own affair."

Shadi smiled to himself. Pegasus would surrender to his heart's desire. It was inevitable. And once he did, Shadi's success was equally preordained. Pegasus would draw out the information however he could… and he wouldn't care what was left of Kaiba's memories in the process as long as he got what he wanted. And even if Pegasus failed, his attempt would anger the pharaoh, would have him eager for a duel, where Shadi could deal with him once and for all. It was a long game – one that Shadi would win by putting as many pieces as possible in play.

"I spent years climbing out of that pit. Do you expect me to slide back so easily?" Pegasus snarled.

But Shadi had vanished, leaving Pegasus alone in the room with his question… and the Millennium Eye.

Pegasus stood up, drew out a silk handkerchief and picked up the orb, afraid to touch it with his bare hands. He shuddered and dropped it in his pocket. With a movement sharper than any he'd shown in years, Pegasus grabbed Shadi's unused wine glass and hurled it at the wall. It shattered with a satisfying shower of glass and a spray of wine as red as blood. Pegasus turned and left the shards on the floor. Someone would clean them up.

He paused, then went to his office and used his phone to make arrangements. He had a journey ahead. Once he'd finished, Pegasus walked to an alcove in one corner of the room and pushed aside a heavy red velvet curtain.

Cyndia looked down on him. There were irises in her hair, the dark purple a contrast to her golden curls. He lit the candles waiting under the portrait. Seen through the flickering light, she seemed to move, to nod and smile at him.

In those first nightmare months after her death he'd painted portrait after portrait, as if capturing each change of clothing or expression could bring her back to him. When that had failed, he'd turned to magic, ready to commit any atrocity to make his vision live, as if causing Kaiba or Yugi pain would soothe his own. He'd lost again. Afterwards he'd stumbled, one-eyed, through his mansion. Cyndia seemed to look down on him with horror and condemnation from a hundred different paintings. He'd prayed before each one, day and night, seeking absolution from their polished surfaces. And somehow, as the years had passed, Cyndia had become a familiar presence, comforting but no longer the focal point of his life.

Pegasus cursed Shadi for returning the kick at the embers.

Yugi opened the door in time to see Atem climbing out of Kaiba's car. He waved, then ran up to Atem, sweeping him into a hug that lifted Atem's heels off the floor.

They took a step back and looked at each other, identical wide grins sprouting on their no longer identical faces.

"Part of me was afraid I'd wake up and find out it had all been a dream," Yugi said. "Even now, I want to hug you and pinch myself at the same time."

Atem put his hands on Yugi's shoulders. "I know. I thought our meeting after the tournament would be our last."

They went into the house. Yugi closed the door behind them. "Grandpa should be in for lunch soon. The gang is meeting up afterwards at the arcade. This'll be your first time seeing it on your own! I know we have to deal with Shadi, but for today, let's just enjoy being together."

"Maybe we can go to Burger World afterwards," Atem said, glad they were planning a question and answer free day.

"You got it!" Yugi glanced at Atem, noted the lack of a backpack or bag and asked, "You didn't bring anything?"

"Bring anything?" Atem wondered if he was supposed to bring a present. Had he missed a birthday? Or perhaps a thank-you gift for Sugoroku?

"You know, like a toothbrush or a change of clothes? Luckily we're still the same size…"

"I don't understand," Atem said.

"Well… last night I know you went back because you promised Kaiba, but I figured tonight you'd stay here where you belong."

Atem winced. Mahaad thought he belonged in the Netherworld. Yugi thought he belonged at the Kame Game shop. If Kaiba thought Atem belonged at the mansion, he hadn't bothered mentioning it.

Yugi put his hands on Atem's shoulders. "Kaiba took it hard. But that's not your fault. He has to accept that you're happy. Then he can move on, too. That's the best help you can give him. You don't have to keep staying at his house if you don't want to."

"But I do." Atem drew in a breath, then exhaled without speaking. He _was_ happy in the Netherworld, but that was only half the story. He drew in a second long breath, concentrating on whatever truth he could offer Yugi wholeheartedly. "I didn't stay over to help Kaiba. I wanted to see him. I care about him. Deeply."

Yugi nodded slowly. He remembered Kaiba saying, "You have your bond with him and I have mine." Yugi had thought it was just Kaiba being overly dramatic as usual. He'd known that Atem and Kaiba were friends, but their friendship had been so different from any that Yugi had ever seen or imagined, he'd never known how to categorize it. But for once, Kaiba had been right and Yugi had missed it, like someone who didn't recognize a song because it had been sung in a different key.

Yugi had to wonder what else he'd missed because he'd been too sure he knew the answers to bother looking for them.

And as much as Yugi hated to admit it, for the first time since he'd become aware of Atem's existence, he felt left out. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help saying, "Kaiba didn't tell me you'd found a way back. I thought me and him were friends. He should have said something. Fair is fair."

"It wasn't like that. We were in his dueling arena." Atem snorted. "He thought I was a hologram. I couldn't convince him otherwise." Atem laughed. "You know how stubborn he can be."

Yugi joined in. He finally got his laughter under control long enough to gasp, "Wow, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one."

Atem stopped laughing abruptly, memories of kissing Kaiba running through his mind. "Please don't say anything."

"Yeah," Yugi agreed, still chuckling. "Jounouchi would never let him live it down." He paused and then added, "You could have… if you'd tried to find your way here… you would have been welcome."

"You weren't…" Atem stopped before he gave Yugi the same answer he'd given Kaiba: Yugi hadn't been looking for him. Atem paused a moment, then continued, "You were living your own life, just like you were meant to."

Yugi hesitated, then said, "I missed you. But all I wanted was for you to be happy in your new life."

Atem's mouth dropped open as Yugi's words registered. "Wait… you missed me? Once the first shock was over, you were still unhappy?" Atem eyes widened. He had left to secure Yugi's happiness. Did that mean he'd failed? That the Ceremonial Duel had been for nothing? Maybe Pegasus had been right, years ago, when he'd said that the Millennium Items created misery wherever they went.

"Of course, I was sad! You're my partner!" Yugi cried out.

"But I thought… I thought you needed to be your own person."

"I did. I do. Don't worry. Everything's great. But you'll always be my friend, no matter how much distance separates us. Friends miss each other."

Atem's face cleared. "Of course. You're right. Friends miss each other. That doesn't mean I…" Atem paused and added, "I missed you too."

It was Yugi's turn to stare, his eyes growing even wider. "But this was what you wanted, right? You're happy, right? What's it like there?"

"I love it. It's beautiful. Close your eyes and imagine the perfect summer day. Feel the soft breeze on your skin, the touch of cool water, the warmth of the sun on your face. Then open them to see the entire scene laid out in front of you for your pleasure. I wish you could see it too, Yugi. But it's not just a place. Mahaad was my friend; I knew it even when he was a duel monster. And Mana and Kalim and all the others… I don't just remember them, I know them, now. And that's all thanks to you."

"I'm glad," Yugi said. He sighed with satisfaction. "Do you miss them while you're here?"

Atem shrugged. "I'm starting to think missing people is part of life wherever you reside."

Yugi nodded.

They both jumped when the door opened. Sugoroku joined them.

"Welcome!" he said, bowing to Atem.

Atem bowed back. He stared at Sugoroku for a moment. He had no idea what to say. "You knew all along." It wasn't a question.

"My grandson seemed to get taller when he dueled. Even his hair stood at attention. It wasn't hard to guess. And I had seen you before."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You saved my life. I started a family." Sugoroku paused and then flashed the gamester's smile that Atem remembered from the first time they'd met. "And I'm an archeologist. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that things are found when they're meant to be found."

They sat down at the kitchen table. Sugoroku and Yugi laid out lunch.

"Yugi has told me so much about you, it doesn't feel like a first – or second – meeting," Sugoroku said.

"Yugi is amazing! I owe everything to him. I admire him more than I can say."

"There's a lot about my grandson to admire."

Yugi made a strangled sound.

"Except that he's too modest for his own good," Sugoroku added.

"I agree. He once tried to get me to go on a date with Anzu, instead of realizing that the best person for her was him."

"Typical," Sugoroku agreed.

"Stop it, you two!" Yugi yelled, trying hard to look threatening instead of ruffled. "And I did ask Anzu out without either of your help, thank you very much."

"You did? That's wonderful, partner! I knew you had the courage!" Atem leaned over to hug Yugi again.

"I mean, nothing's definite. She's in America now for dance school. But that's not me being shy or too modest or whatever nonsense you're both saying. It's because that's what she wants to do and I want her to reach for her dreams. I want to be _her_ cheerleader, now." Yugi shrugged. "Besides we talk all the time. She's coming home soon for her break. It's not like she disappeared off the face of the..." Yugi's mouth snapped shut. He turned bright red.

"Partner…" Atem said.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Yugi mumbled.

The room fell suddenly silent. Then, Sugoroku leaned forwards and said brightly, "Now that you're here, I have a ton of questions I've been dying to ask! Let me get my list!" He got up, went to a drawer and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. "The Egyptians recorded their visions of the afterlife. Now, I can find out if they were right!"

Sugoroku peppered Atem with questions for the rest of the hour. Atem found himself wishing that he'd observed more and taken notes. Finally, Sugoroku glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh, no! Time to open up the shop again! Saturday's our busiest day! We'll have to continue later."

"Any time," Atem said faintly.

Sugoroku stopped at the door. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at Atem. "The next time you come by, you can even choose the subject. And it doesn't have to be the afterlife."

Atem nodded. "I'd like that," he said as Sugoroku left.

Atem and Yugi washed up and headed out. They met the gang at the arcade. They went to Burger World afterwards, as if this was just an ordinary Saturday get-together among friends, as if they'd never heard of Millennium Items or after-life farewells. It had been what he wanted, but Yugi couldn't help wondering if not talking about anything that was going on was just something they did.

It was evening when they said good-bye. Jounouchi, Honda and Bakura headed off. Atem walked Yugi back to his home, then got in a limousine to go back to the mansion. Yugi waved good-bye then turned and went into his house. He walked into the living room. His grandfather entered the room from the kitchen. "How are you?" Sugoroku asked as he sat down.

"Fine," Yugi answered.

Sugoroku laughed. "Try again. I changed your diapers."

Yugi smiled and shook his head. "But I _am_ fine. Why doesn't anyone believe me? Of course, I'm thrilled. Things can be weird and great at the same time."

"Atem didn't come back with you." Sugoroku's comment fell somewhere between an observation and a question.

"He's staying with Kaiba, for now at least. They have some stuff to work out, I guess."

Sugoroku gestured towards the couch. Yugi sat down. "And he likes hanging out with Kaiba. I'd never thought about it before, but Atem _liked_ all that trash talk. Holographic colosseums... duels on blimps… all those back and forth speeches…" Yugi shrugged. "Atem had fun with Kaiba."

Sugoroku nodded and made vaguely encouraging sounds.

"It's just… it's just that I thought we knew everything there was to know about each other," Yugi burst out. "I thought I knew everything he was thinking or feeling. I knew they were friends, but I missed why. And I can't help but wonder what else I missed."

The tea kettle whistled. Sugoroku got up and made two cups of tea. He handed one to Yugi.

"Thanks," Yugi said. He stared into his tea cup for a moment.

"You can't expect yourself to know everything about Atem. There's a good chance that even Atem is learning things about himself."

"I guess. I thought I was moving on. But I was so focused on that, I had no room for anything else." Yugi shook his head. "Atem left. But then he came back and left once more and now he's here until this latest nightmare gets sorted out. And suddenly, I'm spinning around until I don't know which way is up. I'm not moving on, I'm going backwards. Part of me doesn't want us to find Shadi, because I know Atem will stay until he does. Is that selfish of me?"

"Wanting your friends isn't selfish. You didn't hold Atem back when it mattered most."

Yugi looked up. His expression lightened. "That's right. I didn't."

Sugoroku smiled, relieved he had somehow hit upon the right thing to say.

* * *

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 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for editing this chapter and helping me make sure what made it onto the page is what I actually wanted to say!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Mokuba and Kaiba have managed to talk around each other for about 14 chapters, to date. So, I guess that it's fair that it's now Atem and Yugi's turn. They're so used to sharing a body and knowing what each other is feeling. I think it would be an adjustment to have to actually talk to each other. Also, when I think of the Ceremonial Duel, it's not clear whether they talked about what they wanted before-hand. It seemed to me that they both just assumed they knew what the other wanted/needed and acted on it. So, I guess they're both overdue for the realization they might know less than they thought. I could see Atem's decision to stay with Kaiba being the catalyst for this realization. I could see Yugi being puzzled by it and it making him think about Atem and Kaiba's friendship, where before he probably just accepted it without wondering about its dynamics.

Totally unrelated, but I liked the idea that Kaiba finds the phrase, "The next move is yours," to be a turn-on.

 _Note to Fuyu:_ Thanks for commenting! In Chapter 12, as you said, everything came out wrong, but I wanted to give them a chance in Chapter 13, to finally (after the inevitable, initial blow-up) to talk and even to move forward. I loved "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and there was so much about it that I wanted to explore.

 **SECOND AUTHOR'S NOTE:** My best wishes to everyone. Stay safe!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	15. Adventures in Using Your Words

**CHAPTER 15: ADVENTURES IN USING YOUR WORDS**

BARGAINING: Commas save lives, transforming the cannibalistic exclamation, "Let's eat Grandma!" into the much more benign, "Let's eat, Grandma!" And by extension, a lack of commas can kill, turning grandma from a fellow diner back into the main course.

 _MORAL: Commas don't really save lives, but it could be argued that communication helps to make it worth living._

* * *

Atem got out of the limousine. A security guard let him into the mansion. Light spilled from a room halfway down the hallway. Atem smiled as he heard an explosion. He must have found the gaming room.

Mokuba was sitting on the floor, leaning against the leather couch. A half-eaten bowl of popcorn rested next to his leg on the thick shag carpet. Atem watched as Mokuba's red race car knocked into a truck. In the instant before impact, the car switched into a bulldozer then back to a racing car. The truck flipped over, lost its top, then rotated through the air before landing on its side. It had been carrying bananas. They flew out in all directions. Cars slipped on them, skidding into each other and occasionally bursting into flame.

"I thought the aim was to avoid traffic," Atem observed.

Mokuba paused the game. "I changed things around. Sometimes it's more fun to just blow shit up."

Atem nodded and sat down at one end of the couch.

"So, you came back," Mokuba said.

"Your brother said it was okay."

"Yeah, he told me. Well, texted me. But I figured you might end up staying over at Yugi's anyway."

"I didn't."

They sat for a moment in silence. Mokuba stole a glance at Atem out of the corner of his eye. Atem caught and held his gaze. Atem's face wore the same expression he'd had at Duelists Kingdom when he'd asked Mokuba to trust him – not just with Kaiba's life, but with his brother's slowly rebuilding heart as well.

It was harder for Mokuba to know what to do now, when there wasn't an enemy, when there was only his brother and whatever overriding impulse had caught him in its grip. Mokuba shrugged and gave up, at least for the night. "My brother's working out. He'll probably be back downstairs once he showers unless he gets distracted by a call from Kaiba Corporation." Mokuba grinned. "Or if he gets a sudden design idea."

Atem nodded. "I'm okay with waiting."

"As long as you're here, do you want a turn? I can reset it to the original specs if you want."

Atem slid to the floor and sat next to Mokuba. "That's okay. Blowing up stuff sounds about right to me."

Mokuba grinned and handed him the controller.

Kaiba came downstairs a little later. He smiled as he heard the roar of cars crashing and exploding. His grin widened as he caught Atem's deeper tones mixed in with Mokuba's excited cheers. Kaiba paused on the threshold. He hadn't expected this jolt, this sense of overwhelming rightness, seeing Atem sitting on the floor next to Mokuba, ramming a video game race car into a fuel truck. Kaiba could have grunted or done a hundred things to attract their attention, but he stood in the doorway, watching. In the Netherworld, Kaiba had wanted to freeze time, so he could stay in the moment, dueling Atem forever. He felt the same impulse, now.

Mokuba glanced up. "Nisama!" he yelled in greeting.

Atem looked over at Kaiba as well. Kaiba had exchanged his usual gravity-defying coats and endless array of buckles for a pair of tailored navy-blue workout pants and a long-sleeved black T-shirt. His hair was still damp. Atem's eyes widened as he realized that he was seeing a Kaiba that no one but Mokuba had glimpsed before. "Thank you for letting me stay. I'm glad I did."

Kaiba nodded.

Mokuba looked from his brother to Atem and then back, his face scrunched up in puzzlement. "I thought we got all of that settled?"

"We did, indeed," Atem answered.

Mokuba shrugged and shook his head, dismissing the whole exchange. "Whatever. You want a turn, Nisama?"

Kaiba shook his head. Atem moved over so Kaiba could sit between them. Kaiba leaned back against the couch and stretched his long legs out. He shut his eyes. His whole frame seemed to quiver and then relax.

"Sitting like this reminds me of the time we flew to the pier at Battle City," Kaiba said. He smiled. "You kept looking out of the window like you'd never been in a helicopter before."

"I hadn't."

Kaiba's eyes popped open.

Atem chuckled. "It was wonderful, being so high above the ground. I couldn't take it all in at the time."

"We can put that on your to-do list while you're here. A plane would be more exciting, though," Kaiba said.

Mokuba turned back to the screen and finished his game. He started to reach across his brother to give the controller to Atem, then looked at his brother and asked, "You sure you don't want to blow stuff up?"

Kaiba shook his head again. "Not today."

Mokuba waved the controller in Atem's direction, but Atem made no move to take it. He leaned slightly against Kaiba. "Sometimes, rebuilding can be just as challenging," Atem observed.

Kaiba snorted.

Mokuba shook his head. He was used to not understanding his brother's cryptic pronouncements. There was something unsettling though, about his brother and Atem not making sense together. But his brother's face had relaxed into neutral lines. He didn't seem unhappy. Mokuba shrugged again and started a new game. By the end of the next one, his head was drooping over the controller. Kaiba pushed his shoulder. Mokuba nodded and got up. They went upstairs together. Kaiba waited in Mokuba's bedroom while Mokuba went into his bathroom. He came out in his pajamas and climbed into bed, a hint of toothpaste on his chin.

Kaiba cleared his throat. When had Mokuba gotten so hard to talk to? Sometime in between his taking off for the Netherworld and coming back home again, Kaiba guessed.

Mokuba waited for Kaiba to say good night and head out, but his brother just stood in the middle of the room, staring at nothing. Mokuba wondered if he'd forgotten where he was. "Nisama?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba gave a start and came over to the bed. "What's up, Mokuba?"

"I just want you to be happy. I'll do whatever it takes. You know that, right?" Mokuba said.

"Don't worry. Everything's under control," Kaiba answered.

"I like Atem. It's just hard to remember that sometimes, with everything."

Kaiba smiled briefly. "I know." He pulled the covers up to his brother's chin, then reached over and wiped the toothpaste off.

"When this is over, we should make our own game, Nisama," Mokuba said sleepily. "One where we get to blow stuff up for real. We could have genuine fire breathing dragons."

"We could even make it virtual reality," Kaiba said. "When you're ready to take on a special project of your own." He ruffled Mokuba's hair. "Night, kiddo."

Kaiba went downstairs and back to the game room.

Atem looked up as he entered. "Mokuba's still scared, you know."

Kaiba grimaced. "He has nothing to worry about."

"Kaiba! You went to another dimension!"

"I came back, didn't I?"

"Kaiba!"

"My brother is fine," Kaiba said.

Atem shook his head. "I wish I could believe you were only lying to me."

Kaiba crossed his arms in front of his chest. He leaned back so he could look down on Atem more easily. "Any chats lately with Yugi about the Ceremonial Duel?"

"Don't change the subject!"

Kaiba smirked. "Did I?"

Atem raised two fingers to his forehead in salute. "Point taken. Maybe we both need a little more time."

Kaiba nodded, willing to settle for anything that let him drop the subject before he ended up in a fight he didn't want and probably couldn't win. Kaiba sat down on the couch. Atem came over and curled up next to him. Kaiba's arm settled around Atem's shoulders. Atem leaned into Kaiba's side as if they'd been doing this all their lives. Kaiba's eyes drifted shut. It would be easy to get used to this, Kaiba thought, then stiffened at the reminder of how unlikely it was that they ever would.

"Kaiba…" Atem said.

Kaiba shook his head and forced himself to relax again. "It's nothing."

"Does that mean that it's really nothing or simply that you don't want to talk?"

Kaiba made a non-committal rumbling sound but didn't answer.

Atem smirked. "Fine. Then you get to hear about my day. We went to the arcade and then to Burger World."

Kaiba grunted. Was Atem trying to bore him to death as punishment? He'd never been to Burger World, had never understood the appeal.

Atem chuckled. "I went to two of the places I knew best, and I suddenly realized that it was the first time I was going there on my own."

"How was it different?" Kaiba asked, shifting a little as though ready to record Atem's answer for future study.

"I'm not sure. It felt different. But was that just the natural effect of having my own body? Or is it that even in the Netherworld, time never stands completely still? We laughed and joked like we'd all been there together yesterday, but Yugi and I have lived a world away, Jounouchi is trying to balance his job and his hopes and Honda has finally admitted his plans for the future to his father. We've all changed."

Kaiba grunted again, but somehow, this grunt managed to sound interested.

"It was fun, seeing everything with new eyes." Atem chuckled again. "I never realized before that so many teenagers went to Burger World on a _date_."

"That's certainly the place I'd go if I was trying to impress someone," Kaiba scoffed.

"Not everyone has a dimensional cannon," Atem pointed out with deceptive mildness.

Kaiba scowled. "Even Yugi should be able to come up with something better by the time that girl – Anzu – gets back to Domino."

Atem's eyes widened in surprise. He moved slightly away to stare at Kaiba. "Wait… you know about Yugi and Anzu? Was I the last to find out?"

Kaiba's lips tilted upwards. He'd assumed that even from the Netherworld, Atem had managed to keep tabs on all the boring details of Yugi's life. He was pleased to find out that he was wrong. "That's what happens when you run away to another dimension." Kaiba shrugged. "It wasn't hard to guess how Yugi felt when he asked for a portable dimensional shield to keep Anzu safe."

"Yugi asked for what?"

It was Kaiba's turn to smirk. "Not in those words, obviously."

"That was generous of you," Atem said.

Kaiba shrugged again. "It wasn't a big deal. It gave me a chance to test out the technology."

Atem snorted and re-settled himself against Kaiba's side. Kaiba's arm tightened around his shoulders. They sat for a moment in silence.

Kaiba cleared his throat. "Did you mean what you said in the car? About..." Kaiba shrugged. "About everything."

Atem opened his mouth to say, 'What do you think, jackass?' but closed it just as quickly. Kaiba's ability to miss the point seemed almost willful at times. But Kaiba's face was turned downwards and slightly away. A faint brush of pink tinted his lean cheekbones. _"So, this is what Kaiba looks like when he's feeling shy,"_ Atem thought. His smirk turned fond, softened into a genuine smile. "Yes. I meant every word and more," Atem said, lifting his head slightly to Kaiba's face.

Kaiba leaned down and kissed him slowly, tasting Atem's lips, then deepening his kiss as Atem's lips parted. Atem lifted his arms to twine his hands around Kaiba's neck, pressing himself even closer, moving until he was facing Kaiba on the couch, on his knees, straddling him.

"You're impossible to forget," Atem whispered. He stroked the hard planes of Kaiba's chest, aware of the thinness of the material separating his fingers from Kaiba's body, as if the cotton was a bridge rather than a barrier. He could feel the pinprick points of Kaiba's nipples, could feel Kaiba pressing against him as though his pants had vanished. Atem moaned and moved against Kaiba, acting on instinct, trying to increase the friction between them.

Kaiba leaned his head back, exposing his neck. This was another moment that Kaiba would have considered freezing in time. They seemed to come more quickly when Atem was around. But if he'd frozen that first moment when they'd dueled, he'd never have made it to the one where he'd watched Atem sitting next to Mokuba in his house, would never have made it to this moment when Atem was in his arms. And worst of all, as long as he stood frozen in place, he'd never discover the next moment or the one after that.

Kaiba lifted his head and announced, "No matter the temptation, the only way to get anywhere is to keep moving. Freezing time is stupid."

Atem gave a start of surprise. "Of course it is," Atem agreed with a grin.

"What are you smirking at?" Kaiba snapped.

"You are always so totally, completely, yourself."

Kaiba drew in a breath, offended. But before he could respond, Atem leaned back and said, "I like it."

Atem shifted in Kaiba's lap, erased the sliver of air that had come between them. He wrapped his hands in Kaiba's hair and pulled Kaiba's head back, baring Kaiba's neck once more. Kaiba reached up to tug at the top of Atem's tunic, just as he had in his holographic arena. Kaiba's hands stilled at the reminder. They could seal the deal right now. After all, it was the end result that mattered. But for once, Kaiba couldn't force himself to follow the rules he lived by. This was too important. It had to be right. It had to be within his control, not a hurried, frantic tumble on his game room couch, with the possibility of Mokuba wandering downstairs at any moment.

Kaiba rarely thought about Gozaburo. After Alcatraz, Kaiba had counted each day – and then each cluster of days – that went by without Gozaburo dominating his thoughts as a victory. Then, somewhere in his march to his future, Kaiba had simply stopped noticing, until he'd woken up weeks later, surprised to find that Gozaburo's absence had become more commonplace than his presence.

But Gozaburo had been right, at least in this: there was no alternative to perfection.

Atem lifted his head from Kaiba's neck. Kaiba kissed him again, more gently this time. "You said that it was my move," he reminded Atem.

"I thought you were making it."

Kaiba laughed. "When I make a move, you won't have to ask if it's happening." He shifted Atem off his body and stood up. "Mokuba's seeing some friends tomorrow. Meet me after noon at the dueling arena. Some things need to be finished where they started."

Atem sat on the couch, smiling, as Kaiba headed for the door. "It's a duel," Atem called out, chuckling as the break in Kaiba's step showed that his rival had gotten the message.

In theory, Yugi and Bakura were meeting to go over their classwork. In reality, they were sitting in Bakura's apartment, ignoring the books and papers surrounding them.

"So, how are you?" Bakura asked.

"Fine," Yugi answered.

Bakura smiled, ignoring the expected answer. "Yesterday was strange. I could almost believe that my mind was playing tricks with me, that Atem had always been sitting next to you all through high school."

"He always was. It's just that now people can talk to both of us at the same time." Yugi tilted his head in thought. "It's familiar and different all at once."

"In a good way?" Bakura asked.

"Of course!" Yugi answered, a shade too quickly. He looked at Bakura and shook his head. "I'm thrilled to be able to see him… it's just… I'd hoped that all this weird stuff was finally over. It seems like the only way I can see Atem is if someone else is getting hurt. It doesn't seem fair."

"None of this is fair. It never was."

Yugi glanced at Bakura, surprised by the bitterness in his words and expression. "I'm sorry. You're right."

"With everything going on… I can't help thinking of _him_." Bakura shuddered. "He was horrible, and now even after he's gone, I still have his memories, I still know what he did…" Bakura gave a retching cough and swallowed. That unfamiliar edge was back in his voice as he added, "And the bastard was using my body."

Yugi nodded. He squeezed Bakura's hand. He'd gotten lucky in a way that Bakura hadn't. It was something else they rarely talked about.

Bakura shook his head. His sudden resemblance to the spirit of the Ring vanished. "His entire family was massacred," he said suddenly.

Yugi nodded again. "I know."

"It ate at him. That everyone forgot." Bakura shook his head. "I hated that the most. Because it made me feel sorry for him and ask myself: 'What if things had been different?' And he didn't deserve that from me; he didn't deserve my sympathy or anything but my pure unadulterated hatred. It makes me mad, like it's one more thing he took from me."

"I didn't know that. I should have asked," Yugi said.

Bakura shook his head. "I didn't know, either," he admitted. "Until it all came spilling out. It wasn't fair for you or Atem. It was just a different kind of unfair."

"You think what happened… the Ceremonial Duel… was unfair to Atem? But it was the only way he could get to go home."

"I think it was unfair you had to fight, when you never even got to duel him for fun."

Yugi frowned. He wasn't sure Bakura had answered his question, but he also wasn't sure that his question had an answer.

"Maybe you'll get a chance now that Atem's back here," Bakura added. "What's it like, having him as a roommate after everything?"

"We're not. I mean, he's staying over at Kaiba's."

Bakura whistled. "When did that happen?"

"From the start." Yugi shrugged. "He said that he cared about Kaiba. And it's no secret Kaiba took him leaving hard."

"Yeah." Bakura laughed. "You know, if it was anyone else doing all that stuff… digging up the Puzzle, going to the afterlife to find Atem… I'd have said that he was… well, that he was in love. But… like... it's Kaiba. If anyone would go to those lengths for a duel, it'd be him."

Yugi's eyes widened. He remembered Atem saying he cared for Kaiba, pausing, and then adding, "Deeply." Yugi shook his head. "I wonder if that's what Atem meant…"

"What?"

"He said he cared about Kaiba. But… Atem never showed any sign of liking him, not like that, in all the time we were together." Yugi laughed. "I tried to set him up with Anzu once. He yelled at me for not asking her out myself." Yugi shook his head again. "Kaiba? Do you think?"

Bakura shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea. About anything. I've spent most of the last few years unconscious, and that was mostly okay with me. It's like my life got taken away and then I got it back and neither seems to make any sense." He smiled. "And now I'm in college."

"Is that a hint it's time to get back to studying?" Yugi asked.

Bakura grinned back as they opened their textbooks.

Malik and Rishid leaned against the ship's railing and stared out at the water. They swayed in time with the ship's movement with the ease of long practice. They'd been away from Cairo for the week. Malik grunted in satisfaction. They'd filmed enough segments to keep their subscribers and sponsors happy. It was time to go, if not home (and it was never home), at least back to see his sister. Malik frowned as he thought about Isis.

"Do you ever feel like something bad's about to happen?" he asked Rishid.

Rishid's mouth dropped open. "Always."

"Okay, yeah, stupid question. It's just…" Malik paced the deck at the bow of the ship and returned to the railing. "I feel like something's going to happen… like there's an undercurrent. I can feel it, but I can't tell where it's headed or what its target is. And I don't want us to get dragged under in someone else's tidal wave."

"Does it feel like… does it feel like before?" Rishid asked quietly. He'd sensed nothing but Malik's and Isis' growing unease. But he had no experience with Millennium Items except as their collateral damage.

"I hope not. It's just… something feels off with Isis."

Rishid nodded. "Maybe she's worried about you," he offered.

"Isis and worry do go together," Malik admitted. "I hope that's it. But..." Malik paused and then blurted out, "She stares at me when she thinks I'm not looking. Then she'll open her mouth like she's about to say something important. But if she catches me watching, she'll smile and make some cheery remark that I know wasn't what she was thinking at all."

Rishid looked down as if that would make his next words more palatable. "Isis is used to seeing the future, to knowing each turn of the cards without having to worry or guess. It must be hard to lose that certainty when the world is constantly moving. It would be human to miss it, even to wish for its return."

"How dare you talk about my sister like that? Nobody wants the Millennium Items back! Not me and certainly not my sister!" Malik scowled as if his frown could erase the memory of waking up in the middle of the night, suddenly aware of the Rod in a way he hadn't been since the day he'd surrendered it. He'd turned over and tried to go to sleep, not only that night, but the next one and the one after, until the Rod's call had faded, like an alarm set to ring until your phone runs out of power. "You don't know anything!" he finished.

"I'm sorry," Rishid said, managing to avoid adding the word, ' _Master_.' "I shouldn't have spoken out of place."

"Stop it! You have nothing to apologize for!" Malik ordered. He turned away, frowning in frustration. Even the mildest disagreement ended this way, with Rishid apologizing for something he hadn't done, with Malik remembering all the times he'd punished Rishid for even the slightest disobedience back when he'd had the Rod. Each of Rishid's carefully chosen, appeasing words forced Malik to see himself through Rishid's eyes. Malik refused to look away even as he vowed once more to do everything he could to change the view. He reached out and patted Rishid's shoulder. "I was the one who lost my temper. I'm the one who's sorry. And your place is in our family as our brother. Your place is saying whatever the hell you want to, even if I disagree."

Rishid smiled and nodded slightly in acknowledgement, needing the reminder that things had changed as badly as Malik did. "I want everything to be okay."

"Me too. And maybe it is. Maybe I'm just restless."

"This is the longest we've stayed in one place," Rishid observed.

Malik nodded. "Is it too long?"

Rishid ducked his head. "I like visiting Isis."

"So, you don't mind?"

Rishid shook his head.

"Would you tell me if you did?"

Rishid paused and considered the question. "If you asked."

Malik sighed. It wasn't the answer he wanted, but he had no right to demand a different one.

"I like traveling, too. I never realized how full the world was, before," Rishid added.

"When we're traveling, I can pretend none of it ever existed," Malik said. "I can pretend we had this boring family just like all the ordinary families we see all over the world. That we grew up in some dumpy house or apartment where nothing ever happened." Malik paced the bow again, then looked out at the shore. Somewhere beyond his eyesight was the market where he'd seen the world for the first time. "And then we come back, and the questions start all over again." He turned his head to avoid Rishid's concerned gaze and asked, "Do you think I would have done it… killed my father, I mean… if it wasn't for the Rod? I wanted to. I was so scared. But…"

Rishid wanted to reassure him, but the words stuck so deeply in his throat that only strangled sounds escaped.

Malik turned and patted Rishid on the arm. "I think I could live with either answer. It's not knowing that's the bitch." He paused again. "I wish I had killed him because of what he did to you. But there were so many other things… anger, hatred, fear… mixed in." Malik turned away to stare at the approaching city, again. They were almost ready to dock. "I love travelling. I feel like I'm skimming the surface of the world. Staying in one place…" Malik shook his head. "Putting down roots is too much like living underground." He glanced at Rishid. "I never asked. Is that how you feel, too? Or do you feel like you're coming home? Is this what you want?"

"There was never a place for me here."

Malik blinked at the unaccustomed harshness in Rishid's voice.

Rishid leaned against the railing. It was his turn to look at the shore instead of at his brother. "Whoever my family were, they didn't want me any more than your father did. They took one look at me and left me to die. How can a place that rejected me so completely be home?"

"Our mother took you in," Malik said slowly.

"She saved me. I failed her."

"No, Rishid. Never."

"I promised to protect you."

"You did! You've always been more loyal than I deserved."

Rishid covered his face with his hands. "When you were born… I wanted to kill you."

"Rishid, you don't have to say this shit to make me feel better, to make us even. That's never going to happen."

"I'm not." Rishid lowered his hands. An edge entered Rishid's voice. "This isn't your confession. It's mine."

"And I need to stop making everything about me." Malik reached out to clasp Rishid's hands in his own. "This is the closest you've ever come to telling me off. I'm proud of you. Please, tell me."

Rishid nodded. It was unclear if, despite everything, he took the softly spoken words as a command. "I could hear my own death coming closer with your infant cries. Your father… now that he had an heir..." Rishid swallowed, then said, "But your mother – our mother – begged me to take care of my baby brother. I promised. I loved you for her sake until I learned to love you for your own. I tried to be true, to protect you. I failed."

Malik walked up to Rishid. He traced the carvings on the side of Rishid's face. "You didn't. Nothing can grow in darkness. We had to find our way to the light. We just took a longer road."

* * *

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 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I like the way that Kaiba seems to have a To-Do list for Atem. Whether Atem is aware of its existence is a more open question.

I've always loved in in Yu-Gi-Oh! when Kaiba goes off on some internal monologue and then either grunts or makes some cryptic remark that no one could follow who hadn't actually been able to listen in on his thoughts. And I love love love the way that Atem always just rolls with it and answers as if Kaiba had actually spoken aloud. I've tried to capture that sense in this story.

 **SECOND AUTHOR'S NOTE:** My best wishes to everyone. Stay safe!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_

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	16. Icarus Would Approve

**CHAPTER 16: ICARUS WOULD APPROVE**

BARGAINING: We all know the story of Icarus, who flew too near the sun. His death stands as a warning about the arrogance of man and the recklessness of youth. But nothing can shake my conviction that Seto Kaiba would agree with cartoonist and fellow engineer, Randall Munroe: "I've never seen the Icarus story as a lesson about the limitations of humans. I see it as a lesson about the limitations of wax as an adhesive."

 _MORAL: Why does everyone remember Icarus who flew on homemade wings and died, rather than Daedalus who flew and survived?  
_

* * *

Atem raced to Kaiba's computer lab. His footsteps echoed in the deserted corridor. He paused outside the door to catch his breath. As he raised his hand to knock, the door opened. Kaiba was waiting inside, bathed in the red, blue and gold light that streamed down through the stained-glass windows to splash in bright puddles at his feet. He was in the outfit he'd worn when he'd found Atem in the Netherworld.

"Beautiful," Atem said, staring at Kaiba. Atem flushed slightly, surveyed the room and added, "It's every bit as gorgeous as I remembered."

"You saw this before? Then you must have… did you see him… it…" Kaiba started.

"The avatar you made of me? Yes. It was beautiful as well." Atem paused. "I was humbled. It was like glimpsing a piece of your heart, given my form."

Kaiba turned away. He'd designed and updated the avatar, had talked to it, dueled it, kissed it. He'd brought Atem here to finish their rough and interrupted embraces, to strip the clothes from Atem, to let himself be bared in return… but somehow, knowing that Atem had seen the avatar he'd created… the intimacy of that was almost unbearable.

Kaiba wanted Atem to want him… no… he wanted Atem to yearn for him, to dream of their coming together, to hold him afterwards, with no end in sight beyond the simple goal of never letting go. Kaiba wanted Atem to ache until the next time they saw each other, to count each minute as it ticked by.

Kaiba had never wanted any of these things before. He had no way to ask for them now.

It was one thing to dream of Atem, another to have him here and still have no idea what to say or do next.

Atem scanned his rival's profile. Kaiba's face was turned away; his expression further shielded by the fall of his bangs, as if he found it easier to look upon the setting he'd created than the man he'd invited inside. The silence stretched between them. Kaiba stood, still as a statue, in the nave of his imaginary cathedral. Atem waited, giving him time to turn from stone to flesh, then walked halfway down the nave. Atem stopped when they were a dueling length apart. "I left without telling you how important you are… without knowing it myself. I left before realizing how much I wanted you in my arms." Atem's smile turned impish as Kaiba finally swiveled to face him. "Is that something a hologram would say?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes, as easily distracted as ever. "I'd never program anything capable of coming up with something that sappy."

Atem continued walking towards Kaiba. He'd chosen to wear the familiar white T-shirt and blue slacks from the collection of outfits in his closet at the mansion. A duplicate of Yugi's old school jacket was slung around his shoulders. Kaiba appreciated the gesture. It reminded Kaiba of all that had changed since Atem was a nameless ghost in a borrowed body. It made what was going to happen next a continuation of all their old duels, the next marker on their road of battle. And Kaiba needed to honor that if they had a hope of starting fresh. Kaiba held out a hand to stop Atem before he fully closed the distance. "I brought you here to finish what we started in this room." Kaiba shook his head. "No. I _invited_ you." Kaiba's lips twisted downward. "But before you take another step forward, I owe you the truth. I dug up the Puzzle so that I could drag you back here by force. I couldn't see past my own anger."

"Yes. And you were wrong," Atem said quietly. He took another step forward, stood on his tiptoes and kissed Kaiba. "But that wasn't the whole story."

Kaiba laughed. "No, I couldn't stand the thought of you stuck somewhere with no challenge and no way out. I thought you needed rescuing as badly as I did."

"You were wrong, again. What I needed wasn't a rescue, but a rival."

Kaiba drew in a breath. It was everything he had ever yearned to hear. "I wanted this so desperately that I dreamed of it. Twice."

"I was part of both of those dreams. I remember them too."

Kaiba shook his head. "That's impossible." He shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just more used to nightmares than dreams."

Atem chuckled. "I think we've proven that nothing is impossible. You weren't alone in this, Kaiba. Ever."

Kaiba's lips turned downwards. He took a slight step backwards, without realizing it, knowing he should let it go, but unable to keep from saying, "But you didn't come back for me."

"I did. I crossed dimensions to find you. Twice. In this very room. You just hadn't learned to see."

Kaiba stared at him a moment, eyes wide, the way he often looked in their duels when Atem had succeeded in surprising him.

"You weren't the only one who missed something vital," Atem said. "I kept telling myself it wasn't about me, it wasn't about my wanting you, it wasn't about my needing to see you, to touch you. Step by step, I realized how wrong I was, even as I managed to find my way here, to this room."

Kaiba laughed. "Where I thought you were a hologram."

"No. You can protest all you want that you didn't believe, but some part of you did, enough to light the way." Atem took a final step forward and reached up to cup Kaiba's face in his hands. "You were right. This is the perfect setting, with all the colors of your cathedral washing over us. If I could take you back to Egypt and drop you in the sand in the place I fought the Ceremonial Duel, I'd do it."

"It's a good thing I had the spot excavated then. We can always visit it later," Kaiba said with a smirk.

Atem stared at him a moment then chuckled weakly. He leaned his head into Kaiba's torso. "How do you always manage to miss the point?"

"How do you always manage to talk so much?"

"Because this isn't about saving the world. Because this isn't a game and I don't know the next move." Atem paused, knowing he was proving Kaiba's point. Atem stole a glance at him. Kaiba's smile was as taunting as he'd expected, but it reached Kaiba's eyes – and there was more than a hint of fondness to it. Atem continued, "And because I've just discovered that having is far more frightening than wanting. Gaining and losing, joy and terror… I never realized how intimately entwined they all are, before." Atem drew in a breath. "If this is a moment of truth, here's mine: I'm afraid. I never want to be careless of you again. I don't want you hurt."

"I don't care about that."

Atem stared at him.

"If you had told me about the Ceremonial Duel… I probably wouldn't have shown up. I would have stayed in my office and told myself that it didn't matter, that I didn't care. It took your leaving to prove what a hollow sham that was. Whatever happens, I need to know that this time, I didn't hang back. Consequences don't matter. They never did. I want to feel."

"To feel what?"

"Everything. Destroy me. That's our history, isn't it? Shatter my soul… I'll rebuild myself from the inside, better and stronger than ever. I want this. I don't care about the cost."

Atem shivered. "I know. That's what scares me." His voice dropped. "That's what excites me."

Kaiba slipped his finger around the chain holding the Puzzle. "What happens if you take it off?"

Atem's mouth opened in surprise. "I don't know."

Kaiba's eyes gleamed. He grinned. "Take it off and we'll both find out."

"It's my conduit here. I might need it to stay."

"I thought you said a goddess wants you here. You told me that you wanted to find out who Atem was. How can you do that if you don't learn what his limits are?"

Atem threw back his head and laughed. He lifted the Puzzle and its chain over his head. He drew in a breath, relieved that he was still standing, still within arm's length of Kaiba in his fake cathedral. He drew in another breath, closed his eyes, and dropped the Puzzle to the ground. It hit with a satisfyingly solid thunk.

Atem gave a choked off laugh and reached up to draw Kaiba's head back to his, as Kaiba swept him into a blessedly suffocating embrace.

Kaiba pushed Atem's jacket off his shoulders. Atem's skin glowed against the white of his T-shirt, the way his holographic avatar had turned to liquid gold. Kaiba pulled Atem's shirt over his head. "When I designed your avatar… when I was here with it… I thought I wanted to be in control… of you, of myself, of everything." Kaiba's grin turned feral. "Prove me wrong."

"Gladly." Atem smiled, looking as dangerous as if a penalty game was about to begin. He pushed Kaiba against a pillar, then grabbed Kaiba's head by the back of the neck and dragged Kaiba down to his level. "If I remember, you liked it this way," Atem purred before smashing his lips against Kaiba's.

Atem stripped off Kaiba's flaring coat, let it fall at their feet like a shower of crimson and white leaves, blown to the floor by an autumn wind. Kaiba's black shirt was high at his neck, but a series of small, almost invisible snaps ran from the collar's edge to the hem in a diagonal line. With one swift movement, Atem jerked them open, barely noticing the familiar locket that had been under the shirt. He'd seen Kaiba's chest before, but now Kaiba knew this was real; Kaiba was letting himself be seen.

Atem's tongue dipped in and out of the contours of Kaiba's abs, traced the planes of his chest, marveling at how smooth skin was when your tongue was gliding over it. He paused to flicker his tongue in and around Kaiba's nipples, before returning to suck on the soft skin of Kaiba's neck where it met his jawline. Atem smiled, anticipating all the ways he'd leave vivid, life colored bruises on Kaiba's body, covering the older, whiter, marks. If he had a dozen hands, they wouldn't be enough to trace Kaiba's body everywhere it was demanding to be touched. Atem's hands moved in concert, teasing their way down the length of Kaiba's torso, then undoing the heavy KC buckle on his pants, unfastening the waistband, and running his fingers down the zipper, pulling it open.

Kaiba had designed the setting; he'd run scenarios through his head a dozen times. But he'd never truly believed it could happen, so for once he was caught without a strategy, much less a back-up plan. He'd never expected to feel so many contradictory things, to want to lean in, to press closer and to squirm away, all at the same time. Each kiss, each caress left him eager and aching for the next, as if his body was being tuned to a new and intoxicating agony. Kaiba gasped, fighting for breath, feeling like he was drowning in air. Atem's words, the press of his hands and tongue, the sensations running through Kaiba's body… it was all too much. "Stop," Kaiba groaned, scarcely aware of the words as they left his mouth. He groaned again, in frustration this time. Stopping was the last thing he wanted.

Atem should have ignored his moment of weakness and pressed harder.

Instead… Atem listened. His hands stilled instantly, then moved to cup Kaiba's face. Atem's eyes widened as if that would help him understand. Their expression changed, became no less intent, but softer somehow. "What is it, Kaiba?"

Kaiba stared at him, a look of dawning wonder replacing the confusion on his face. "All the stuff you said about how you couldn't keep going unless I knew what I was getting into, about how doing anything else would be a betrayal, about waiting for me to make a move – it was all true."

"Yes. Of course."

"It was all true," Kaiba repeated.

"Kaiba? What's wrong?"

But their brief exchange had given Kaiba enough time to right himself. He wasn't being swept away by a relentless current, he was diving in of his own free will. He opened his mouth and shut it, not wanting to delay long enough to explain something he barely understood, himself. "Not a damn thing."

"I don't understand."

"Me neither."

Atem drew in a breath. "Kaiba, we don't have to…"

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "No, we don't. We don't have to do anything. But I want to." He leaned down and kissed Atem, more slowly this time, memorizing all the ways their mouths could fit together. "I want to," he repeated.

"I'm glad," Atem murmured.

The carefulness of Kaiba's kisses thrilled Atem. And then that deliberate control snapped. Kaiba broke over Atem like a wave, suddenly devouring him, leaving mark for mark along his body, pushing Atem to a deeper exhilaration. The rest of their clothes fell like kindling to the floor. They followed their garments down. Atem paused, partially cushioned by Kaiba's body. His knees sunk into the stone floor.

"Why does the floor feel so soft?"

"I padded it. It's the cold hardness that's the illusion."

Atem smiled and returned his attention to Kaiba's body. Kaiba had picked him for his rival; he'd seen him. Now it was Kaiba filling Atem's sight; he was unable to focus on anything except the feel and smell of Kaiba, unable to tell where his hands ended and Kaiba's began, where his body ended and Kaiba's began, unable to tell touching from touched.

It was almost too much, as if his body was still too new and untested to take in this much sensation, except that he wanted it all. He'd never been so acutely aware of his body before until now when he could no longer tell its boundaries, until now when he was somewhere beyond its borders.

This didn't have the sterile polish of a fantasy. It was a jumble of fumbling hands and frantic movements. They caught glimpses of each other as they moved together, creating a mosaic of fractured, Cubist images… a flicker of a shoulder or scratched back, a tangle of legs, a flash of a face straining towards completion, all seen through a kaleidoscope of stained-glass color.

Kaiba had touched himself before… in his shower, in the privacy of his bedroom. But he'd never known touch. In that, he was as new and untested as his rival and match. He'd been drawn to Atem, like a modern-day Icarus flying into the sun, longing to be burned, confident he could rise from the ashes of his fiery descent. He'd heard how Atem had returned at the center of an inferno, he'd recreated its flames in this very arena; now Kaiba was caught in its embrace. Kaiba threw his head back, as if anticipating victory at the end of a duel, except he was being consumed by something beyond triumph, devoured by a hunger as fierce as the gold and orange flames he'd spent hours bringing to life to surround his vision of Atem.

In all those hours, through all their dreams, they'd imagined the beginning, they'd imagined the moment they came together, they'd imagined its climax. But they'd never imagined an end, a point where even the hottest fire consumes itself and ebbs. And they'd never envisioned the sense of peace that now washed over them both, drowning the last flickers.

Reality returned in a rush as if Kaiba had truly fallen to earth. It had been everything he'd dreamed of, but now that the elation was fading, now that he'd reached another impossible goal, Kaiba was facing the same familiar emptiness.

Winning a chess game, taking over a corporation, beating Atem in a duel. He kept expecting each new victory to eliminate all doubts, to finally bring some elusive sense of safety. This day had been the same; the only difference was it had brought him to use the word safety, even in his thoughts, for the first time.

Kaiba had never felt this raw, searing vulnerability before. He was pretty sure he hated it, except for the fact that it was associated with Atem, except for the fact it had always been there, eating at the foundation of everything he had tried to build. This giddy, uncertain, agitated exhilaration went against everything he'd ever thought or believed about himself. And yet, it was a part of him, something he couldn't unlearn or unsee.

Kaiba had expected tonight to satisfy his desires. And it had, more than he could have imagined, but it had also opened an entire world of new cravings, piling on top of each other as far as the eye could see. Something like their road of battle, Kaiba thought with a slight smile.

He'd expected some resolution, not an endless array of questions. Now, the only thing he knew for sure was that one encounter wasn't going to be enough, any more than one duel had been.

He lay there, holding himself still, adrift in the wreckage of his own definitions. Atem lay like a weight on his chest, and yet it was a weight that he would never willingly give up, a weight that would only become a burden once it was lifted.

Had this day been a victory or a defeat? Had they finally found a way to win, or had they paved the way for a deeper loss?

Kaiba would have shaken Atem and demanded answers, but at that moment, Atem sleepily curled into him and threw an arm across Kaiba's chest. He nuzzled Kaiba's neck for a moment before kissing him lightly and snuggling even closer. Kaiba's arms came up automatically, holding Atem to him just as tightly. He could feel Atem smile before Atem's lips brushed his neck again. Kaiba tried to define how he felt at this moment. None of the familiar words matched. He wasn't triumphant or self-congratulatory or smug. It had elements of all of those things, but it was quieter, if no less searing. It was sort of like the feeling he got when he was working with Mokuba on Duel Links, except there was nothing even remotely brotherly about it. Whatever it was, it felt good. Kaiba closed his eyes. Something in Kaiba eased long enough for him to doze off with Atem held securely in his arms.

Atem wasn't aware he'd fallen asleep until his eyelids drifted open. He blinked as he identified the sound that had woken him and chuckled to himself. Of all the things he imagined Kaiba doing, snoring wasn't one of them. He carefully disentangled himself from Kaiba's grip to look at him. He smiled at the sweat soaked hair, the bites and bruises decorating Kaiba's body. He was used to seeing a more pristine, untouchable Kaiba. He liked this version better.

He stared at Kaiba another moment, watching as the play of colors painted Kaiba's body. There was something so right about such a fantastical setting, as if their coming together had been elemental, almost preordained. Atem's smile widened as he imagined Kaiba snorting at the idea. But Kaiba had been the one to design this space as a shrine to his feelings and as a way of revealing them. Kaiba had been the one to come here day after day, a celebrant facing the only gods he would acknowledge: determination and longing. Atem had followed, seeking a connection that neither time nor space had been able to sever; a pilgrim hungering for an earthly communion. And like any believers, they'd been rewarded.

Yugi had accepted Atem's departure and tried to move on. He'd done everything right and Atem couldn't have been prouder of him. Kaiba, in contrast, had done everything wrong, up to and including digging up powerful magical artifacts and leaving them lying around for anyone to take, then jumping into an untested rocket ship without a clue where he was going except to find Atem. And yet, Atem didn't feel inclined to blame Kaiba for missing him so desperately.

Atem drew in a breath and sighed, suddenly chilled. He'd had to walk away from life twice to protect the people he loved. How could he be sure a third sacrifice wouldn't be required? Atem looked over his shoulder, half-expecting Horakhty – or some sterner god – to appear and smite him for his brashness in seizing his desire. He'd wanted to make love to Kaiba regardless of cost. Now he was terrified that he wouldn't be the only one called upon to pay it.

He shivered and then gazed at the gentle rise and fall of Kaiba's chest, reassured. He drew in another breath and released it slowly, willing himself to calmness. He knew the gods. They were stern but not cruel. They had given him this day.

Atem caught a glimpse of his Puzzle, glinting on the floor. He reached over to grab it, and then slipped in once again around his neck. As gentle as his movement was, it woke Kaiba up. He reached out to grab the chain and pull Atem over.

"You're never allowed to say I'm reckless again," Kaiba said sleepily. "I crossed dimensions with technology. You relied on a necklace."

"Aaah, but where does technology end and magic begin?" Atem asked.

Kaiba snorted.

"You're lucky I'm right. You would have looked very silly if I'd vanished," Atem pointed out, choosing to smirk instead of shudder.

Kaiba's eyes seemed to gleam even brighter. "If you had disappeared, there's no power on Earth or beyond that could have stopped me from finding you, again."

Atem leaned in and kissed Kaiba. "I know." Atem traced a bruise blossoming on Kaiba's neck and smirked again. "And I can't wait until you see yourself in the mirror."

"Neither can I." They both looked startled by Kaiba's words. "That first morning, after we met here, I looked like I'd been mauled." Kaiba paused then went doggedly onwards, his face slightly pink. "I liked it," he added defiantly. Kaiba traced Atem's bitten lower lip with his thumb, before moving on to the marks left on Atem's neck and chest. "You're not exactly looking untouched yourself."

"I like it, too." Atem said.

They smiled at each other like two toddlers learning to be friends, then looked away and busied themselves with getting dressed. It was only as they left the room that Atem slipped his hand in Kaiba's, where it remained as they exited the building.

* * *

.

 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for editing this chapter.**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I think Kaiba equates safety with control. So, if he's putting himself in a situation that feels emotionally unsafe (not that he would recognize that's what he was feeling) he'd almost want to stage manage the setting or do something that made it feel like it was happening on his terms.

Especially now, it's really nice to hear from people and know that people are still reading and enjoying the story.

Stay safe everyone!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_


	17. Finding a Place that Doesn't Exist

**CHAPTER 17: FINDING A PLACE THAT DOESN'T EXIST**

BARGAINING: Sir Thomas More coined the word, "Utopia" in 1516 to describe his vision of a perfect society. Philosophers, politicians and, of course, writers, have all taken their shot at coming up with their own ideal worlds ever since.

 _MORAL: It's worth remembering that the word, "Utopia" is based on the Greek words for No Place. But even if Utopia doesn't – and can't – exist, there's something to be said for asking what you want and where you want to be._

* * *

Kaiba had barely seen Atem in the hours that had followed their meeting in his dueling arena. They'd come back to the mansion. Kaiba had left to pick up Mokuba almost immediately afterwards. Atem had gone to see Yugi. Kaiba had retreated to his room before Atem had returned. He'd focused on getting ready for the work week until he'd finally crawled into bed, tired of not thinking about what had happened and refusing to acknowledge that maybe he'd needed a respite before seeing Atem again.

Kaiba should have been used to waking up alone. But for a moment, as he'd fought off the last remnants of his dreams, he'd imagined that Atem was beside him. Kaiba shook himself awake, looked around the empty room and tried to decide if he was pleased or disappointed by Atem's absence. He sat up and wasted a few more minutes trying to decide what either emotion would mean, then growled in frustration and heaved himself out of bed.

Kaiba should have taken a shower last night, but he hadn't. If he tried, he could almost catch Atem's scent on his body. He groaned. Next, he'd be reduced to stealing T-shirts.

He headed for his bathroom. It was time to face the day. He had a meeting with Pegasus to get through. He showered then went to his closet. After scanning its contents, Kaiba pulled out a black mock turtleneck shirt and pants. He added a long coat, woven with interlocking silver, black, gray and blue threads. There was a coarseness to the weave, the suggestion of armor. It was ostentatiously austere, an antidote to Pegasus' ruffles and the inevitable Gozaburo-red suits.

Kaiba opened his bedroom door, ready to meet whatever came. Atem was waiting outside. Kaiba smiled. "You could have come in," Kaiba said, then swallowed and added, "Or whatever," as the implications of his words hit him.

Atem grinned. "I'll hold you to that tonight."

Kaiba looked at him appraisingly and then nodded.

Atem analyzed Kaiba's response on the way down the stairs. He'd thought he'd made his feelings clear, yesterday, but he'd reckoned without Kaiba's habit of expecting betrayal with every advance.

Mokuba came downstairs a few minutes later, dressed for school. He was surprised to hear voices coming from the dining room… well, voices that weren't his brother yelling into his phone. He raised an eyebrow as he saw Atem sitting next to his brother at the table. "I always figured that a pharaoh would loll around in bed all day waiting for someone to bring breakfast."

Atem looked up. "I like the dawn."

Kaiba lifted his head at that. It suddenly occurred to Kaiba that he knew how Atem would face death, but didn't know his favorite food. "You do?"

Atem nodded. "I walk to the river every morning. The whole world looks new. It's Horakhty's time. It's when I see her, if she deigns to visit the Netherworld."

"Who's Horakhty?" Mokuba asked.

"The goddess of love and happiness… and the guide to the pharaohs."

"You have your own goddess?" Mokuba giggled. "Like having a personal trainer?"

Atem winced. "It would be more accurate to say that I'm hers."

Mokuba's face scrunched up. "She doesn't have a dog head or something freaky, does she?"

Atem smiled. "No. Although many of the gods you see in the Domino museum do."

"I wanted to go, when Isis brought that exhibit. But _someone_ wouldn't take me."

Atem grinned. "That's a shame. They had a statue of Set that I think you would have enjoyed."

"Set?" Mokuba's eyes and grin widened at the same time. "You mean like _'Seto?'_ And he's got a weird dog head?"

Kaiba narrowed his eyes. He resisted the urge to growl.

"Not exactly. He is his own unique being. A Set animal, if you will."

"Awesome! How tall is he? Is he big and scary? Does he have fangs?" Mokuba asked.

"This conversation is boring," Kaiba announced.

Mokuba snorted, a sound he unconvincingly turned into a cough. "Not to me. I definitely have to email Isis for the details. I can even do a class project on it."

Kaiba had never felt the urge to stick out his tongue at his brother before. How had a simple trip to the afterlife gotten so far out of control?

"Time for school," Kaiba said, getting up from the table.

"Is that a strategic retreat?" Atem asked quietly after Mokuba ran upstairs for his books.

Kaiba grimaced. "Just be ready to meet me at the airfield. I'll send a limousine for you. I'll be in a meeting all morning."

Atem nodded.

Kaiba dropped Mokuba off, managing to hold a coherent conversation along the way – which mercifully did not include a discussion of ancient Egyptian deities. Kaiba turned his car in the opposite direction and headed downtown.

Kaiba and Pegasus' rare meetings were as carefully arranged as visits of heads of state – and the security was as tight. Pegasus was usually amused by the rituals that surrounded their meetings. All the work they had done in re-establishing a business relationship apparently counted for absolutely nothing as far as Kaiba was concerned, when they were face to face. Kaiba had flat out refused to let Pegasus anywhere near his corporate offices or his computer labs. Pegasus was pretty sure facial recognition software, if not lasers, would have locked on to him before he'd made it halfway across the lobby, if he'd ignored Kaiba's decision.

They'd settled on a hotel, still owned by Kaiba Corporation, of course, but infinitely safer from Kaiba's point of view. Pegasus had brought Crocketts and Sawartauri, mainly because he knew it would piss Kaiba off. Isono was in charge of Kaiba's security team. They were not shy about making it clear that they were armed.

"I thought you didn't like weapons. How flattering that I seem to be your sole exception," Pegasus said as he entered the meeting room.

Kaiba growled in place of using words.

"I had hoped to talk privately," Pegasus said with a mock sadness designed to annoy Kaiba even further.

"I'd hoped for a lot of things," Kaiba said, trying to pierce the curtain of silver hair that concealed the left side of Pegasus' face.

"Have it your way," Pegasus said, flinging back his hair, revealing an empty socket where the Millennium Eye had once rested.

Kaiba didn't reply, but he gestured to his guards to leave. Pegasus' men left with them. Isono paused by the door, then shut it and took up a stance just inside of the room.

"You insisted on this meeting, without bothering to send an agenda. I'm here. Talk," Kaiba said as they sat down.

"Is it so surprising that I'd occasionally want to check on the well-being of my favorite business partner?"

Kaiba didn't bother responding.

"You must admit, _Kaiba-boy_ …" Pegasus broke off as Kaiba got up. Isono opened the door. Pegasus sighed. "I forgot how wound up you get by a harmless term of endearment. Have it your way, my dear boy… oh, is that phrase acceptable?"

"No," Kaiba said, but he sat down again. "Get to the point."

Pegasus looked at the empty table in front of him and sighed. "Really, if you insist on being the host, it's incumbent on you to offer your guests some refreshment."

Kaiba's lip curled. "Are you under the mistaken impression this is a social call?"

"Polite as always. I see I'll have to fend for myself." Pegasus went to the refrigerator and inspected the offerings before settling on a bottle of a Rosé. He went to the sideboard, picked up a wine glass, inspected its shape and sighed. Pegasus poured himself a glass of wine and sat back down. Kaiba tapped his fingers on the table top.

Pegasus considered his strategy. Shadi never lied. But he was a master at saying just enough to ensure his listeners heard only what they wanted to. And the one person who could confirm Shadi's story, was sitting across from him, determined to give nothing away.

"The rumors have been a tad disconcerting… positively lurid, in fact." Pegasus wagged his finger at Kaiba. "The one about you chasing after a hologram of your rival that was real enough for you to… how shall we put it… _duel_."

Kaiba wasn't surprised that Pegasus had heard about his holographic dueling arena. But he wasn't 16 anymore, and he'd never been young enough to confide in Pegasus, anyway.

"What was his name?" Pegasus continued. "We can't keep calling him Yugi, now can we? Ah yes, Atem."

"You need to get a better class of spies if all you got for your money is rumors," Kaiba observed.

"Let's just say that I got the latest news from an old friend."

Kaiba grunted. "I didn't know you had any."

Pegasus sighed and flipped the hair back from his remaining eye. "Are you getting as tired of fencing back and forth as I am? You must enjoy my company more than I thought, because at this rate, we'll be here all week."

Kaiba grunted. "Unlike you, I wouldn't waste my time chasing after holograms."

"So, it is true."

Kaiba lifted an eyebrow.

"I never thought for a moment you'd chase anything less than the real Atem. According to my source, you found him."

Kaiba's grin turned crueler, if possible. He weighed whether it was better to taunt Pegasus with the knowledge that he'd succeeded – or leave Pegasus dangling, unsure whether he'd been chasing an impossibility at Duelists Kingdom or if he'd simply failed.

Pegasus took another sip of wine, waiting to see if Kaiba would answer. Kaiba sat back in his chair, looking bored. Pegasus sighed. They were so used to baiting each other, to treating each exchange like a turn in a duel. But Pegasus no longer had the ability to read his opponent's mind. Pegasus played with the ruffles on his cuff, waiting to see if Kaiba's impatience would force a reaction. Kaiba curled his lip. The gesture could have been mistaken for a smile by someone who didn't know him. Pegasus inclined his head, acknowledging receipt of Kaiba's message. It was Pegasus' move. He had to divulge information first, without any guarantee that Kaiba would reciprocate. Pegasus sighed again. Acceding to Kaiba's whims went against the grain; Pegasus was far too used to people accommodating his, instead. But he had to break the silence or admit defeat. And Pegasus refused to return home empty-handed. He had to know what Kaiba had seen in the after-life… and who he'd met there.

"So, Shadi was right," Pegasus mused. "He came to visit me." Pegasus glanced at Kaiba to see the effect of his words.

"That menace?" Kaiba's eyes narrowed. "You saw him? What have you forgotten?"

"Nothing, unfortunately. Shadi was bringing information, not taking any away," Pegasus explained.

"Go on."

Pegasus permitted himself a small sigh of relief. "Have we advanced to horse trading? Shadi said that you had gone to the after-life, that you had seen your rival and that the pharaoh had followed you back here."

"A fairly unbelievable story," Kaiba observed.

"Given that you're the main character…" Pegasus said.

Kaiba smiled. "If you're resorting to flattery, you must be more desperate than I thought."

"I'm not the only desperate person in this room. Your journey was made for selfish reasons. Are you going to pretend they were petty as well?"

Kaiba pressed his lips into a thin line.

Pegasus leaned forward. "Well, then. We both know what loss is, the kind of soul crushing loss that makes all that remains meaningless. We both tried to do the same thing. We've both asked ourselves: what would I be willing to do to regain all that matters?" Pegasus brushed his hair back as if he still had the Millennium Eye, as if he could still read minds. "Did we come up with the same answer? Were we both willing to go the same distance? You are, after all, the boy who designed Death-T."

Kaiba glared at Pegasus. Kaiba _was_ desperate, and had been ever since the day Atem had walked away. But something had changed irrevocably in the wake of Death-T. Kaiba had clung to that, afterwards, had chanted it to himself like a bedtime story, unable to fall asleep until he'd convinced himself that there were a whole range of actions he could no longer take as easily, not unless his life – not just his desires – were at stake.

But sometimes, his nightmares disagreed.

Kaiba grinned. "There's one significant difference between us. I succeeded. And that means I don't have to ask myself what I would have done if I'd failed. I don't have to ask if I would have stooped so low as to kidnap a child and steal his soul."

"I hope that's an evasion. Because it would also be an opportunity to learn if you've changed."

Kaiba refused to break eye contact, even as he refused to add anything else. He wasn't a twelve-year-old anymore, needing to come up with an answer that would appease Gozaburo. He wasn't a sixteen-year-old trying to impress Pegasus, until he'd realized that Pegasus was just the latest in a line of people whose only interest in him was in whatever pieces they could carve away.

"Sometimes I wonder why you continue to work with me," Pegasus said, a hint of a question in his statement. "It's never simply been about business."

"You created Duel Monsters. They wouldn't exist without you."

Pegasus had to smile at the simplicity of Kaiba's answer. "There is that."

Kaiba shrugged. "You know my opinion of you. And yet, you continue to work with me."

Pegasus raised his wine glass in salute. "I design Duel Monsters. You make them live."

They looked at each other. For once, the silence between them held something beyond guilt and anger.

"Shadi wants to hurt you," Pegasus said abruptly. "He came to give me the Millennium Eye. He said that with it I could reach into your mind and seize the knowledge of how to travel dimensions. I think he wanted me to destroy your memories in the process. He certainly hinted it would be safer that way."

Kaiba grinned. "He's welcome to try."

"You delight in making dangerous enemies, don't you?"

"No."

Pegasus lifted an eyebrow in theatrical shock.

"I don't delight in it," Kaiba clarified. "I just don't care if it happens either."

Pegasus laughed.

Kaiba drew in a breath. "Wherever I ended up, it was a vision of paradise from an era gone and forgotten for 3,000 years. The one thing I'm sure of is that it wasn't a modern after-life, it didn't hold anyone who lived – or died – in our time."

Pegasus nodded. "Thank you."

Kaiba made a rumbling sound that didn't resolve into words.

"Shadi will be back again. He still has hopes that I can be induced to make the same mistake twice." Pegasus leaned forward. "It's dangerous to underestimate Shadi. If there is something to be known, he knows it. Whatever secrets you think you're hiding, bet that he has them."

Kaiba leapt out of his chair and whirled around. "You think he bugged the room?"

Pegasus chuckled. "You dueled a dimensional traveler armed with a mystical cube. You traveled to an alternate dimension and back. And despite all that, you think that Shadi's first choice would be electronic surveillance?" Pegasus gave up on giggling and went on to full out howls. Kaiba waited impatiently for his laughter to dry up. Pegasus wheezed, sighed and added, "Sometimes, my dear Kaiba-boy, your naivety is truly enchanting."

Kaiba couldn't go back to the office after Pegasus left as if nothing had happened. He wasn't ready to talk about it either.

He drew in a breath, glad he'd made plans to take Atem flying. It was the perfect antidote to Pegasus, the perfect antidote to the past. He jumped in his car and headed for his hanger. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel at each light, new worries crowding out the older, familiar ones. He wanted today to be special, he wanted to show Atem there were things this world offered – that he offered – that couldn't be matched anywhere else, not even in paradise.

Atem got out of the limousine and met Kaiba at the airfield. Kaiba was pacing in front of his plane. The BEWD plane looked even more ridiculous – and glorious – up close. There was a sleekness to it; like the real dragon. it was made to fly.

"It's beautiful," Atem said.

"Not as beautiful as the real thing."

"It's a worthy tribute to Kisara."

Kaiba smiled. "I hope so. Ready?"

Atem nodded.

They settled in the plane. Kaiba started the engine. "It was amazing… flying for real, I mean, in the Netherworld."

Atem chuckled. "I wouldn't know. I've never had the nerve to ask Kisara for a ride."

Kaiba smirked. "I didn't have to ask. She offered."

"Some of us don't have your pull with her."

"I thought you were a pharaoh."

"Dragons only listen to pharaohs when it suits them."

Atem gasped as they took off. They shot through the sky as if tearing a hole in it, before gliding in and out of the clouds, playing a game of hide and seek with the sun. Since it was Kaiba, he couldn't resist showing off, spiraling and diving, turning the sky into his private playground, spinning sharply towards earth before pulling up. He headed out over water, giving Atem a chance to catch his breath.

Kaiba's shoulders tensed as he headed in for the landing. When he'd invited Atem, he'd thought he wanted to show off his plane and his skills as a pilot. It was only now that he'd done that, that he realized he'd also wanted to share. Kaiba loved the air. He loved the feeling of weightlessness, of freedom, of outrunning everything that had ever tried to drag him down. He loved feeling at peace with himself. He wanted Atem to love it as well, to see what he saw, to feel what he felt. He wanted Atem to understand. "There's something about being off the ground, being above everything…" Kaiba started.

"It's perfect," Atem said, knowing Kaiba's fondness for that word.

Kaiba relaxed. "It's as close as it gets, anyway."

Kaiba glided into the landing. They got out of the plane and into Kaiba's sports car. Atem looked back as the airfield receded into the distance.

Kaiba cleared his throat. "Before we pick up Mokuba… I saw Pegasus today."

Atem nodded. "That's nice. I'm glad you're becoming friends."

"Seeing Pegasus is never nice, or even tolerable. And we're _not_ friends."

"Kaiba, you've worked together for years."

"That's necessity not enjoyment. He created Duel Monsters." Kaiba gave a sudden chuckle. "And I make them live."

Atem nodded. "What did he want?"

Kaiba frowned. "I think he wanted to warn me."

"Some people would call that a friendly gesture," Atem murmured.

Kaiba ignored him. "Shadi came to see him. Shadi is still targeting memories; he seems to be handing out Millennium Items to get his way."

"Did Pegasus say he had the Eye?"

"Pegasus never says anything directly. He has it though."

"Is he a danger?"

"Pegasus is always a danger."

Atem sighed. "Kaiba…"

Kaiba shook his head. "Whatever Shadi was selling, I doubt Pegasus was buying." He gave a bark of something too bitter for laughter. "Maybe he decided the price was too high… or maybe… maybe he's…"

"Changed?" Atem suggested.

Kaiba drove up to Mokuba's school without comment. Mokuba jumped in the back seat.

"So, my brother took you up in the Blue Eyes White Dragon plane?"

"It was breath-taking." Atem shook his head at his inability to describe what it had felt like to race the sun. "It was… unique."

Mokuba laughed. "Did you puke?"

"Why would I throw up?"

"Give me a break. Are you trying to tell me my brother didn't show off his flying skills and put the plane through all kinds of stunts? It's better than a roller coaster."

"Your brother? Show off?" Atem asked innocently.

Kaiba spied a clear stretch of road ahead and slammed his foot on the gas as he shifted. The car shot ahead. It wasn't as fast as his plane, but it rocked Atem and Mokuba back in their seats, distracting them.

"Don't you want to show Atem what a good job you've done teaching me to drive?" Mokuba asked innocently.

"Do you expect me to fall for such an obvious trap?" Kaiba observed.

"No. But I would like a turn."

Kaiba pulled over. He tried not to think about how ridiculous they all looked switching seats. Mokuba shot through traffic going only slightly slower than his brother had. He pulled into the driveway and turned to grin triumphantly at Atem.

"Impressive," Atem said.

After dinner, they spent the night playing the Kaiba brothers' re-engineered video games. In an odd way, Atem reflected, it was like being with Mana and Mahaad and his friends in the Netherworld; it was like being with Yugi and Jounouchi and Honda. "I like hanging out," he said suddenly. I never got to do that, before. It's been good seeing Yugi as well."

Kaiba grunted, running Atem's words through his mind trying to determine how to interpret them. He'd just taken Atem flying. Atem had seemed to enjoy it. Was he now saying, he'd just as soon hang out with Yugi and the loser brigade at Burger World?

"How is Yugi? I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks," Mokuba said, interrupting his brother's thoughts.

"Good. He said he was fine," Atem answered, a slight, unconscious emphasis on the word, "said."

"Cool." Mokuba got up and headed off to bed. Kaiba went with him and then came back downstairs.

"Fine," Kaiba said with a snort. "There's that word again."

"Yes. I kept telling myself that I was fine until you barged into my after-life. Sometimes I think we use it when we're not sure what flavor of not-fine we really are."

Kaiba didn't bother sitting down. He was sick of never being quite sure what was going on. "I'm going upstairs," he said abruptly.

Atem stood up. "Then so am I."

Kaiba nodded and went back up the stairs. Atem followed.

Kaiba pushed open the door to his bedroom. He stepped over the threshold, eyes wide. His bedroom made it real in a way the computer room hadn't.

Atem came inside and shut the bedroom door behind them. "When I left, I thought I was following my destiny. I didn't realize I was also making a choice. I made another choice yesterday. I'd like to make the same one again, today."

Atem walked around Kaiba until he was standing toe to toe with him. Atem twined his arms around Kaiba's neck, pulling Kaiba's head down to his, walking backwards as he nudged Kaiba towards the bed.

Kaiba froze and then took a stumbling step forwards, almost over-turning them. Kaiba had accomplished another impossible goal, yesterday afternoon. As usual, he hadn't bothered to ask what was going to happen next. As usual, he'd planned for despair and loss. He'd been half-afraid that Atem had seen his need and had responded out of some misguided sense of friendship or worse, pity. And now Kaiba was faced with the one thing he'd wanted too badly to include in his calculations. He didn't know what it meant if Atem wanted him as desperately, was willing to travel just as hard and fast on a road Kaiba had assumed he was navigating alone.

"Wait," Kaiba said, needing a moment to take in everything that was happening around and to him.

Atem instantly stopped wrangling Kaiba towards the bed. He dropped his hands to Kaiba's shoulders and took a step back, so that he could see Kaiba's face more clearly. Just for an instant, Kaiba's face looked as blank and stunned as if he'd just watched his life points tick down to zero. Atem wanted to smooth away that shuttered look. He wanted his obstinate, indomitable Kaiba back, the one who was never truly defeated, no matter how many losses he suffered. "Kaiba? Is everything all right?"

Kaiba's face remained blank as he raced to assimilate this new data point. "Wait" had the same effect as "Stop." Atem obeyed either. Kaiba's shoulders relaxed. It gave him a measure of control and safety in a situation that lacked both. Kaiba smiled. "Everything's perfect."

Atem smiled. "That's the Kaiba I came back for."

Kaiba put his hands on Atem's shoulders. "Atem, why are you here?"

"Because everything I've touched has gone wrong and I want this one thing to be right. Because the only thing I'm sure of any more is that I want to make love to you."

Kaiba smiled. "Then why are we still standing?"

They were close enough to the bed to fall back into it, half wrestling the clothes off each other's bodies.

There was a greediness to how Atem felt about Kaiba. Atem wanted stained glass cathedrals and racing cars and dragon planes tearing through the sky… and he wanted to make love to Kaiba in his house, in his bed, after a quiet evening at home. Atem had never asked himself what he wanted before. When it came to Kaiba, the answer was: everything.

Most of all Atem wanted to hold onto this moment forever. Yesterday had been so fleeting, like a meteor flashing across Atem's sky, blinding him to all else for the brief moment it flared, impossible to recreate once it had vanished. Today, Atem wanted to remember everything, every touch, every taste. He wanted a perfect image of his time with Kaiba to take back to the Netherworld, preserved in amber.

And yet, the very intensity of Atem's desire defeated him. Atem couldn't hold on, any more than he could confine a comet as it lit up the night sky. Some things are too powerful to cage, too incendiary to freeze, even in memory. Atem surrendered. He let each sensation wash over him without trying to lock them away, refusing to turn his heart into their prison. And in that surrender, he lost himself in each uncapturable second, each moment of Kaiba touching him, of Kaiba kissing him, of Kaiba, with his single, unnerving focus, seeing nothing but him, each moment of hearing Kaiba's moans echo through his own frame, drawing out an answering keening cry. And in surrender, Atem found himself grounded in the present, as if it was the tether he'd been looking for, tying him forever to each moment of caressing Kaiba, of fondling his body, of laying temporary claim to his rival and match. The details flew by, meteor fast; the shattering feeling of union remained.

Afterwards, Atem smiled as he waited for his breathing to return to normal, reveling in the solid feel of Kaiba's arms around his body, in the beat of Kaiba's heart in his ear as he lay pillowed on Kaiba's chest.

"It's hard to believe this is real, that you're here, that I'm holding you," Kaiba said.

"Why?"

"Because 'real' is blood and sweat and desperation."

Atem smiled and ran a hand down Kaiba's chest. "We seem to have supplied the sweat."

Kaiba shook his head. "That's not how things work. It's not how _I_ work. When I want something, I fight and scheme and bleed for it. Straining everything to get to you in the after-life, that was real. Having something handed to me…"

"Is real too. It's a new kind of real. Because I want you, too." Atem leaned his head against Kaiba's chest and chuckled softly. "And I didn't even know it until you marched into my hall. I thought I had put all thoughts of desire behind me when I walked through that door. And then you came through after me."

Kaiba's soft grunt rumbled in Atem's ear as if he was listening to a drum beating inside of Kaiba's frame. Atem snuggled closer and asked, "Can I sleep here through the night… with you?"

Kaiba's mind whirred, like a computer racing through a decision tree. Atem staying through the night meant Kaiba would have to shut his eyes and fall asleep with someone else not only in his room, but in his bed. But Atem staying also meant Kaiba would wake up in the morning (if he managed to get to sleep at all) to see Atem lying, tangled in the sheets next to him, maybe even holding on to him as though Atem, too, never wanted to let go. It meant knowing from the instant he opened his eyes that this night hadn't been a mirage. And having Atem ask…

Kaiba tightened his grip on Atem. Life didn't come with guarantees, and Atem had been honest enough not to make any promises, except to care for as long as they were together, except to say good-bye when he left. But Kaiba was going to fight for every moment, because he craved this more than he'd ever wanted anything in his short want-filled life.

"Yes," Kaiba said.

"I'm glad," Atem said as he snuggled closer, as if the pause hadn't lasted long enough to make him worry, as if he hadn't breathed an inward sigh of relief as he watched the doubts race through Kaiba's mind only to go down in defeat.

* * *

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 _ **Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** One thing I find fascinating in the subtitled anime is that Kaiba and Pegasus continue their working relationship as if nothing had happened. I could see Kaiba taking betrayal in stride, and it's certainly canon that he has no problem working with people he despises, but this seemed a bit extreme even for him. And it's clear from the later episodes that their business relationship is hardly warm and friendly.

But I think it's not just a matter of business. After all, Pegasus could find other tech companies, even if none are as advanced as Kaiba Corporation. And Kaiba could certainly apply his technology to other card games, not to mention to movies or other entertainment. The thing is, both of them feel a true connection to Duel Monsters. And they both really do need the other in order for Duel Monsters to reach its full potential. And I think the sense that they are creating something that's deeply personal and at the same time bigger than either of them is what keeps them working together.

 **THANK YOU:** Thanks to everyone for commenting! I can't say how much it meant hearing that my story helps as a distraction during these times. To be honest, sometimes it is difficult for me to focus on it, and sometimes it feels self-indulgent to keep writing when so much is going on, but at the same time, it's a distraction for me as well, and it meant a lot to hear that it works that way for my readers.

Stay safe, everyone!

 **SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

 _ **To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.**_


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